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| Super Moderator ![]() ![]() | It has come to my attention that since Thanksgiving Day has passed there are several G&G members who are having this re-occuring concern. So...here's the explanation of "What makes farts stink?" Good luck as you work through this gas war crisis. Thanks to one of my chemist buddies who has explained it thoroughly. Ox ---------- ---The odor of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulfur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such as skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulfur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs, and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts. ---Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts? Most fart gas comes from swallowed air and consists largely of nitrogen and carbon dioxide, the oxygen having been absorbed by the time it reaches the anal opening. These gases are odorless, although they often pick up other (and more odiferous) components on the way through the bowel. They emerge from the anus in fairly large bubbles at body temperature. A person can often achieve a good sound with these voluminous farts, but they are commonly (but not always!) mundane with respect to odor, and don't feel particularly warm. Another major source of fart gas is bacterial action. Bacterial fermentation and digestion processes produce heat as a byproduct as well as various pungent gases. The resulting bubbles of gas tend to be small, hot, and concentrated with stinky bacterial metabolic products. These emerge as the notorious, warm, SBD, often in amounts too small to produce a good sound, but excelling in stench. ---How much gas does a normal person pass per day? On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts. Whereas it may be difficult for you to determine your daily flatus volume, you can certainly keep track of your daily numerical fart count. You might try this as a science fair project: Keep a journal of everything you eat and a count of your farts. You might make a note of the potency of their odor as well. See if you can discover a relationship between what you eat, how much you fart, and how much they smell. ---Why is there a 13 to 20 second delay between farting and the time it starts to smell? Actually, the fart stinks immediately upon emergence, but it takes several seconds for the odor to travel to the farter's nostrils. If farts could travel at the speed of sound, we would smell them almost instantly, at the same time we hear them. ---Is it true that some people never fart? No, not if they're alive. People even fart shortly after death. (one last good-bye to your friends!) ---Do men enjoy farts more? Yes, most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender. I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do. ---Do men's farts smell worse than women's farts? Based on what I have experienced of women's farts, all I can say is that I hope not. ---At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart? A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household. ---Why are beans so notorious for making people fart? Beans contain sugars that we humans cannot digest. When these sugars reach our intestines, the bacteria go wild, have a big feast, and make lots of gas! Other notorious fart-producing foods include corn, bell peppers, cabbage, milk, and raisins. A friend of mine had a dog that was exceptionally fond of apples and turnips. The dog would eat these things and then get prodigious gas. A dog's digestive system is not equipped to handle such vegetable matter, so the dog's bacteria worked overtime to produce remarkable flatulence. ---Is a fart really just a burp that comes out the wrong end? No, a burp emerges from the stomach and has a different chemical composition from a fart. Farts have less atmospheric gas content and more bacterial gas content than burps. ---Is it harmful to hold in farts? There are differences in opinion on this one. Certainly, people have believed for centuries that retaining flatulence is bad for the health. Emperor Claudius even passed a law legalizing farting at banquets out of concern for people's health. There was a widespread belief that a person could be poisoned or catch a disease by retaining farts. Doctors I have spoken to recently have told me that there is no particular harm in holding in farts. Farts will not poison you; they are a natural component of your intestinal contents. The worst thing that can happen is that you may get a stomach ache from the gas pressure. But one doctor suggested that pathological distention of the bowel could result if a person holds in farts too much. ---How long would it be possible to not fart? As I understand it, a captive fart can escape as soon as the person relaxes. This means that a lot of people who assiduously refrain from farting during the day do so at great length as soon as they fall asleep. Having been on a great many overnight field trips, long bus trips, and transpacific flights, I can personally vouch for the fact that lots of people do fart voluminously as they doze off. So the answer to the question would be, you can refrain from farting as long as you can stay awake! (yeah, right) ---Do all people fart in their sleep? I have not made a scientific study of this, but I don't think all people fart in their sleep. I think mainly those who refuse to fart when they're awake do so when dozing off. For other people, toilet training takes such a strong hold that they let nothing pass their sphincters in sleep. For these people, the gas accumulates in the night and they vent it upon awakening. ---Where do farts go when you hold them in? How often have you held in a fart, intending to release it at the first appropriate opportunity, only to find that the fart has disappeared when you are ready for it? I asked several doctors where the fart goes. Does it leak out slowly without the person knowing it? Is it absorbed into the bloodstream? What happens to it? The doctors agree that the fart is neither released nor absorbed. It simply migrates back upward into the intestine and comes out later. It is reassuring to know that such farts aren't really lost, just delayed. ---How can one cover up a fart? There is a company called Fartypants that sells underwear designed to absorb the odor of farts. If you should be caught without your Fartypants, another ploy is to blame the dog or cat, if one should be present, or complain about how the wind must be blowing from the direction of the paper mill. As for the sound... if you are in a large group of people, act oblivious and innocent, or glance quickly at the person next to you, as if you think he/she did it. Other strategies include coughing or suddenly moving your chair so that people think that they misheard the fart. If you are with one other person, you can act as if nothing happened, and the other person may believe he was mistaken in thinking he heard a fart. A friend of mine addresses the problem of farting loudly in a public restroom as follows: "My solution: use a handful of loose toilet paper, cover your butt and it will muffle the farting; my friends and I call it the "Buff Muff'!" Depending upon the company, another strategy is not to cover it up, but to proudly proclaim the fart as your own grand accomplishment and to issue a challenge to the others to outdo that one if they think they can. ---Is it really possible to ignite farts? The answer to that is YES! (Armageddon, Armageddon!) However, you should be aware that people get injured igniting flatulence. Not only can the flame back up into your colon, but your clothing or other surroundings may catch fire. A survey done by Fartcloud (the site, alas! is no more) indicates that about a quarter of the people who ignited their farts got burned doing it. Ignition of flatulence is a hazardous practice. However, if you want to try it, and you don't have a friend to light your fart for you, you might find it easier to accomplish the job using the Fartlighter. There have also been cases in which intestinal gases with a higher than normal oxygen content have exploded during surgery when electric cautery was used by the surgeon. ---Why is it possible to burn farts? Farts burn because they contain methane (usually) and hydrogen, both often which are flammable gases. (Hydrogen was the same gas that was used in the ill-fated Hindenburg dirigible.) Farts tend to burn with a blue or yellow flame. So now you know! If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)
__________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right". Last edited by Oxford; 04-28-2007 at 07:42 PM. |
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| | #4 |
| Super Moderator ![]() ![]() | .22 guy...I received that technical information on farts from a friend of mine who I used to go skiing with. He and a group of Food and Drug agents included me in order to reduce their fixed expenses. But as a bunch of FDA chemists, they would sometimes discuss technical things such as the post I made above. And...since Thanksgiving day has passed, for most of us, this seemed like a chemical/biological concern that adults could include in our "useless information" part of their brains.
__________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right". |
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| | #6 |
| Resident Armed Liberal ![]() | Safety bulletin If you're going to light a fart, do it with your underwear on. When I was in boot camp, two guys were having a contest one night after we were fed something gas-producing. A third guy decided to outdo them in distance by pulling his underpants down so he'd get a straight shot... Yup. He did himself enough damage to be in pain for several days.
__________________ If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. -Anatole France |
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| | #8 |
| Senior Member | Women don't fart as much as men because they don't keep their mouths closed long enough to build up pressure. Sometimes when I let loose a loud one, I'll say, "Did you see lightning? I heard thunder."
__________________ Life is too important to be taken seriously. |
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| | #11 |
| Senior Member | THE REAL REASONS FARTS STINK......... -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- so deaf people can enjoy them too! ![]()
__________________ [IMG]http://img287.echo.cx/img287/63/9130110x100a4vb.jpg Last edited by Full MeTal Jack; 11-27-2006 at 12:29 AM. |
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| | #12 |
| HMFIC ![]() | Ox....you never fail to amaze me.
__________________ Rules | Contributing Members I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. --Thomas Jefferson No one has the right to deny my personal safety Need a reminder, why this site is so great? |
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| | #15 |
| Senior Member | way too much info. As it goes to farting in your sleep, last time I was over here we had one guy that would wake people up with his flatulance. Not only the smell but the volume. I swear this guy had a duck under his covers.
__________________ NEVER FORGET THOSE THAT DIED FOR THE CAUSE OF FREEDOM |
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| | #16 |
| Super Moderator ![]() ![]() | Must have been a slow day when I started this thread. But...since then I've gotten to read mostly young fart's comments. ![]()
__________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right". Last edited by Oxford; 11-28-2006 at 04:46 PM. |
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| | #18 |
| Senior Member ![]() | OX thank you so much for this information, Now I know what to eat a lot of before JoeBob comes to visit. Hey heres another idea eat foods high in sulfieds and mercaptans to ward off the mutchers that ask to sleep in YOUR tent or camper deer season. A.H Oxford you seriously otta change your name here to FARTHEAD...LOL Last edited by ArkansasHunter; 04-28-2007 at 08:46 PM. |
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