Man Rules

Johnny_Revolver · 12-06-2007, 01:11 AM

Saw this elsewhere, thought I`d share:

These are our rules!
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Picked up my New Springfield 1911 9mm today, pics to come.

Coeloptera · 12-06-2007, 01:33 AM

Maybe you just date a different version of woman than I have. Never had these problems.

And for your information, pal, mauve is like a lighter shade of fuschia, similar to puce but not as intense. Sheesh!

- Coeloptera

Johnny_Revolver · 12-06-2007, 05:07 AM

It`s a joke, eh...

Coeloptera · 12-06-2007, 01:01 PM

Well, obviously...so was my "mauve" reply.

Great...now I have to explain the joke and it isn't funny anymore.

- Coeloptera

jmp8927 · 12-06-2007, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Well, obviously...so was my "mauve" reply.

I thought it was funny!

knightRider · 12-06-2007, 02:03 PM

i think Arkansa Hunter posted this recently , it started a big fight . lol

Oxford · 12-06-2007, 03:04 PM

Here's the other copy of this story:http://www.gunandgame.com/forums/hum...man-rules.html (The Man Rules)

Johnny_Revolver · 12-07-2007, 03:49 AM

Oh well then, I do beg your pardon.

DWARREN123 · 12-07-2007, 09:09 PM

Only one man rule;
I want a beer and to see something naked!

cubbieman · 12-08-2007, 08:17 AM

oh god, this threads going to get really ugly really fast

nighthawk80 · 12-08-2007, 08:31 AM

You ask and you shall receive. Here is your something naked. As for your beer, sorry don't have any!!

12-06-2007, 01:11 AM	#1
Johnny_Revolver Gun Liker Join Date: May 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 1,209 Blog Entries: 6	Man Rules Saw this elsewhere, thought I`d share: These are our rules! Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Picked up my New Springfield 1911 9mm today, pics to come. __________________ It`s a good life, provided you don`t weaken.

12-06-2007, 05:07 AM	#3
Johnny_Revolver Gun Liker Join Date: May 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 1,209 Blog Entries: 6	It`s a joke, eh... __________________ It`s a good life, provided you don`t weaken.

12-06-2007, 02:03 PM	#6
knightRider Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: you know where Posts: 2,683 Images: 19 Blog Entries: 11	i think Arkansa Hunter posted this recently , it started a big fight . lol __________________ I'm part kalishnakov, part heckler and Koch.

12-06-2007, 03:04 PM	#7
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,023 Blog Entries: 4	Here's the other copy of this story:http://www.gunandgame.com/forums/hum...man-rules.html (The Man Rules) __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

12-07-2007, 03:49 AM	#8
Johnny_Revolver Gun Liker Join Date: May 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 1,209 Blog Entries: 6	Oh well then, I do beg your pardon. __________________ It`s a good life, provided you don`t weaken.

12-06-2007, 01:33 AM	#2
Coeloptera Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 1,885	Maybe you just date a different version of woman than I have. Never had these problems. And for your information, pal, mauve is like a lighter shade of fuschia, similar to puce but not as intense. Sheesh! - Coeloptera

12-06-2007, 01:01 PM	#4
Coeloptera Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 1,885	Well, obviously...so was my "mauve" reply. Great...now I have to explain the joke and it isn't funny anymore. - Coeloptera

12-07-2007, 09:09 PM	#9
DWARREN123 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: BETWEEN TN & KY Posts: 774	Only one man rule; I want a beer and to see something naked! __________________ Have a nice day!

12-08-2007, 08:17 AM	#10
cubbieman Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Alaska Posts: 1,481	oh god, this threads going to get really ugly really fast

12-08-2007, 08:31 AM	#11
nighthawk80 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Just south of Central Indiana Posts: 403	You ask and you shall receive. Here is your something naked. As for your beer, sorry don't have any!!