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Any of the .38 JHP factory rounds will perform (or not perform) about the same. Don't count on expansion, it just may not happen. If you are not going to tote the gun around, Triggerjerk is correct, get a bigger gun. Bigger guns are easier to shoot. While you are at it, get a bigger caliber. Even the .44 Special and the .45 ACP from a revolver will be more effective than the .38. In a gun with some weight, they even kick less.
I am a pistol and personal protection instructor, and I instruct a lot of non-shooters. There is a psychological block against large revolvers. Women want something small and light. It takes a considerable amount of shooting to convince someone that gun weight is your friend, unless you have to carry it around in your pocket all day. It's a little unnatural to carry two pounds of anything at the end of your arms, but it can be learned.
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