 Claiming Muslims Are Endangered Species, Sierra Club Sues to Prevent Invasion of Iraq
Claiming Muslims Are Endangered Species, Sierra Club Sues to Prevent Invasion of Iraq
11/18/2002 - William Grim
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Berkeley, CA - Members of the Sierra Club, various granola eaters and subscribers to Mother Jones magazine filed a class action lawsuit in U.S. Federal Court today to enjoin the federal government from launching a war against Iraq. In documents filed with the court in support of the lawsuit, the plaintiffs claim that Muslims constitute a unique species, homo muslimus terroristicus, and therefore fall under the aegis of the Endangered Species Act. The plaintiffs further claim that the viable population of Muslims has been rapidly decreasing over the past decade by the encroachment of civilization. The barren wasteland natural habitats of the Muslims are made uninhabitable by turning them into thriving verdant arable lands with modern sanitation facilities, paved roads, running water and electricity. Also, many Muslims appear to be suffering from a unique genetic disorder that causes them to explode spontaneously, especially in crowded cafes, discos, day-care centers and busses.
The government has countered with an amicus curiae brief written by the noted Harvard University evolutionary biologist Sidney M. Brooks, who disputes the claim that Muslims are a unique species. "Muslims have the same DNA as everyone else," Professor Brooks states. "They just suffer from really, really bad gastro-intestinal problems and an unnatural fondness for camels. And don't get me started on their women. No wonder they keep them covered up. Woof!"
William Grim - Broken Newz | 
02-05-2003, 01:27 PM
