Today We Bestow Five Bonehead Awards

Doglips · 03-05-2003, 07:24 AM

TODAY WE BESTOW FIVE BONEHEAD AWARDS
How To Railroad a Bus

Bonehead award one, an “unclear on the concept” bonehead award, goes to a parking warden in Manchester, England who gave a bus driver, parked in a bay marked “Buses Only,” who stopped to pick up passengers, a ticket for parking at a BUS STOP!

Said the bus driver, "All my passengers queuing to get on were gob smacked when the warden dashed over. He said the area was restricted. When I asked restricted to who [sic], he replied ‘buses’. I thought he must be blind."

The local council has ordered that the warden be “retrained.”

UK Sun
Click here for original story

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Dumb and Dumber
Bonehead award two goes to seven people who gave Carl Fratzke, Jr., a Winona Minnesota man, a total of $207,000 in a glove selling scam and to Carl Fratzke, Jr., the swindler himself, who then lost that entire amount by investing it in the Nigerian scam.

Winona Post (Minnesota) 6-Mar-02
Click here for original story

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Sometimes You Do Want To Leave Home Without Your Pants On
Bonehead award three, a “too dumb to be a criminal” bonehead award, goes to a United Kingdom woman in Erpendorf in Tyrol who, wanting to collect insurance money for the theft of her expensive ski pants, went down to the police station to report them stolen, forgetting that she was still wearing them, police said.

Ananova (UK) 3-Mar-03
Click here for original story

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100% Non-Recyclable Questions
Bonehead award four goes to those people who phoned in these questions to the Portland, Oregon Metro Recycling Information hotline:

Where can I recycle 600 dresses, several dozen bottles of Jim Beam, a 30-year-old box of Howdy Doody ice cream cones and a few dozen wigs?
How can I recycle a couch soaked with blood?
How do I dispose of "household" dynamite?
Do you have a safe pesticide for the bug burrowing a hole in my husband's arm?
What should I do with 100 breast implants that have been removed and preserved in formaldehyde?
Can someone from the government come out to my house and smell my living room?
Where can I get a permit to burn my house down?
How can I dispose of five semi trucks full of inedible marshmallows?
What happens when you cut a worm in half?
How can I recycle guinea pig droppings?
What do I do with a 10-year-old pile of manure?
From The Edge, The Oregonian

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The Road To Hell Is Paved With Visitor Parking Spaces
Bonehead award five goes to one of Britain’s biggest hospitals, University Hospital of Wales, for having to postpone a heart operation because the surgeon couldn’t find a parking space thanks to the “improvements” they made in parking arrangements meant to increase the number of spaces available for patients and visitors.

"By the time I arrived I felt so stressed I was in no state to perform the surgery,” says heart surgeon Ulrich Von Opell who spent an hour finding a parking spot. “I am sorry for the patient but I felt this was the right decision to make.”

UK Telegraph 4-Mar-03

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WEIRD EXTRAS
News Item: Columbia University's National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse reports that 1/5 of all alcohol consumed in the United States is consumed by underage drinkers who spent some $22.5 BILLION for their drink last year.

News Item: The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that 64 percent of all fatal car accidents on weekend nights were caused by intoxicated drivers with young drivers having the highest rates of intoxication of any age group during these times.

News Item: PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is campaigning to change Wisconsin’s official state beverage from milk to beer claiming that it is healthier for young people to drink beer than milk.

oneastrix · 03-05-2003, 10:11 AM

Do ya think I could get a bone head award for the following:

My buddy has a horrible tatoo on his hand. We thought we might throw back a few shots of tequila and take it off with my rotary/disk sander!?!?!?!?!?!

LOL......just kidding guys. He thought it was a great idea, but I was only joking when I brought it up! Seriously........uh........ya'll don't believe me do ya?

Big Dog · 03-05-2003, 10:42 AM

A co-worker's husband and his friend somehow got a plastic spoon stuck in the commode. They decided since it's plastic and the commode is ceramic - burn that puppy out! I can see it now - "hey, watch this!" as he pours some gasoline on it and lights it off. Shirley says the blast fractured the potty, and they had to get a new one - professionally installed, of course.

One holiday season, the day before family is coming to visit, the same terrible twosome decided to clean out the fireplace and chimney. Shirley had off-white livingroom furniture - it became very off-white, more like dingy grey! OOPS!

Some guys really need adult supervision!

Doglips · 03-05-2003, 12:05 PM

Me with power tools is just a bonehead award waiting to happen...they realy should have a waiting period before Home Depot is allwoed to sell me power tools....but it looked so easy on tv.

03-05-2003, 07:24 AM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,082	Today We Bestow Five Bonehead Awards TODAY WE BESTOW FIVE BONEHEAD AWARDS How To Railroad a Bus Bonehead award one, an “unclear on the concept” bonehead award, goes to a parking warden in Manchester, England who gave a bus driver, parked in a bay marked “Buses Only,” who stopped to pick up passengers, a ticket for parking at a BUS STOP! Said the bus driver, "All my passengers queuing to get on were gob smacked when the warden dashed over. He said the area was restricted. When I asked restricted to who [sic], he replied ‘buses’. I thought he must be blind." The local council has ordered that the warden be “retrained.” UK Sun Click here for original story -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dumb and Dumber Bonehead award two goes to seven people who gave Carl Fratzke, Jr., a Winona Minnesota man, a total of $207,000 in a glove selling scam and to Carl Fratzke, Jr., the swindler himself, who then lost that entire amount by investing it in the Nigerian scam. Winona Post (Minnesota) 6-Mar-02 Click here for original story -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes You Do Want To Leave Home Without Your Pants On Bonehead award three, a “too dumb to be a criminal” bonehead award, goes to a United Kingdom woman in Erpendorf in Tyrol who, wanting to collect insurance money for the theft of her expensive ski pants, went down to the police station to report them stolen, forgetting that she was still wearing them, police said. Ananova (UK) 3-Mar-03 Click here for original story -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 100% Non-Recyclable Questions Bonehead award four goes to those people who phoned in these questions to the Portland, Oregon Metro Recycling Information hotline: Where can I recycle 600 dresses, several dozen bottles of Jim Beam, a 30-year-old box of Howdy Doody ice cream cones and a few dozen wigs? How can I recycle a couch soaked with blood? How do I dispose of "household" dynamite? Do you have a safe pesticide for the bug burrowing a hole in my husband's arm? What should I do with 100 breast implants that have been removed and preserved in formaldehyde? Can someone from the government come out to my house and smell my living room? Where can I get a permit to burn my house down? How can I dispose of five semi trucks full of inedible marshmallows? What happens when you cut a worm in half? How can I recycle guinea pig droppings? What do I do with a 10-year-old pile of manure? From The Edge, The Oregonian -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Road To Hell Is Paved With Visitor Parking Spaces Bonehead award five goes to one of Britain’s biggest hospitals, University Hospital of Wales, for having to postpone a heart operation because the surgeon couldn’t find a parking space thanks to the “improvements” they made in parking arrangements meant to increase the number of spaces available for patients and visitors. "By the time I arrived I felt so stressed I was in no state to perform the surgery,” says heart surgeon Ulrich Von Opell who spent an hour finding a parking spot. “I am sorry for the patient but I felt this was the right decision to make.” UK Telegraph 4-Mar-03 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WEIRD EXTRAS News Item: Columbia University's National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse reports that 1/5 of all alcohol consumed in the United States is consumed by underage drinkers who spent some $22.5 BILLION for their drink last year. News Item: The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reports that 64 percent of all fatal car accidents on weekend nights were caused by intoxicated drivers with young drivers having the highest rates of intoxication of any age group during these times. News Item: PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is campaigning to change Wisconsin’s official state beverage from milk to beer claiming that it is healthier for young people to drink beer than milk.

03-05-2003, 10:11 AM	#2
oneastrix Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: on the road Posts: 5,244	Do ya think I could get a bone head award for the following: My buddy has a horrible tatoo on his hand. We thought we might throw back a few shots of tequila and take it off with my rotary/disk sander!?!?!?!?!?! LOL......just kidding guys. He thought it was a great idea, but I was only joking when I brought it up! Seriously........uh........ya'll don't believe me do ya? __________________ There's no one more thankful to sit at the table, than the one who best remembers hunger's pain.

03-05-2003, 10:42 AM	#3
Big Dog Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tallahassee, Florida Posts: 12,912	From the Tim Taylor School of Home Improvements . . . A co-worker's husband and his friend somehow got a plastic spoon stuck in the commode. They decided since it's plastic and the commode is ceramic - burn that puppy out! I can see it now - "hey, watch this!" as he pours some gasoline on it and lights it off. Shirley says the blast fractured the potty, and they had to get a new one - professionally installed, of course. One holiday season, the day before family is coming to visit, the same terrible twosome decided to clean out the fireplace and chimney. Shirley had off-white livingroom furniture - it became very off-white, more like dingy grey! OOPS! Some guys really need adult supervision! __________________ "A bold spirit embiggens the smallest man!" Jebediah Springfield

03-05-2003, 12:05 PM	#4
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,082	Me with power tools is just a bonehead award waiting to happen...they realy should have a waiting period before Home Depot is allwoed to sell me power tools....but it looked so easy on tv.