Bush Defends Decision to Bomb Florida

Doglips · 03-14-2003, 06:16 AM

Bush Defends Decision to Bomb Florida
3/14/2003 - Marni Malarkey

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"They had it coming," sighed President Bush yesterday, commenting on his decision to drop the MOAB bomb on Florida. "Since the 2000 election debacle, this is simply something that's been on my 'to do' list, but what with 9-11 and the aftermath of that, I hadn't been able to get around to it." Lawmakers from both major parties backed the president's actions, saying that "for as long as the State of Florida is allowed to run rampant, the security of the United States is at risk. Situations like this have to be stopped before they spiral completely out of control." President Bush also cited "the whole Elian thing," "Gloria Estefan" as well as "my pesky little brother" as other reasons for the attack. The president, in a televised speech to the nation, said that the administration was not planning to attack Florida and leave it in ruins. "We plan to bring about 'regime change,' rebuild, and help those people democratize and lead better lives." He added that troops would invade Florida later this week and after quelling local unrest, would give food and other aid to the local population. "This operation will be in the finest moral tradition of America." Former vice-president Al Gore added his name in support of "Operation About Time," as it has come to be known, saying, "to be quite frank, I'd even be pleased if we just turned the whole sorry place into a pile of rubble and left it that way.

Sniper[MI] · 03-14-2003, 07:35 AM

Chupacabra Gazzette reports,

Hollywood "Missed it by that much."
03/12/03

Sally Mander Reporting

In a stunning revelation, Whitehouse officials said that "Operation About time" was almost not carried out. In today's press conference, Chuck Emalin stated that top level Military officials actually had two plans tabled and that the president had chosen the Florida test at the last minute.

"Operation, Two Birds with one stone" was seriously considered by the administration.

Operation, "Two Birds with one stone" had been planned to see how much damage the MOAB bomb would do to a high density population center. Hollywood and specifically the Academy Awards were chosen to be that operations focal point.

The test was ditched in the final phases of planning as the administration found it would be too costly to bus out all the decent honest people, aand they also thought that even the actors and liberal zealots might begin to figure something was about to happen.

Operation Planner, I.B. Jammin said, "Even the dumbest of the Hollywood elite would have figured something was afoot after 3 days of busses rolling people out. And surely the huge bullseye that was to be painted on the roof of the academy building would have tipped off a few of the smarter ones.

All involved though agreed that part of the plan could not have been done as it was sure to be a tip off. "The part about having the free communist poetry reading and anti war rally was just too much," Stated Gnot A. Zealot. "Even Striesand would have seen this comming."

The Operation was scrubbed in favor of Floridas Operation, "About time."

Chupacabra Press gazette, "Sucking the truth out." since 1783
this storyis complete and total bs reprinting and redistributing is like totally forbidden and stuff. Buffy St Youingin, editor.

Doglips · 03-14-2003, 09:16 AM

Liked that one too

Big Dog · 03-14-2003, 09:29 AM

Yeah, they tried to silence us, but they dropped it in the forrest - how's that for their vaunted accuracy? We break wind in their general direction.

If they were serious about the Cracker Threat, they would bomb the Miami and Tampa/St. Pete areas. But stay away from the Everglades - the gators have enough stress already from the Yankee Tourists.

Maybe bomb southern Orlando say, about mid-June? Center it on Mouseland.

When the Occupation Forces arrive, be sure to stop in at the Welcome Center for some OJ and cookies!

Sniper[MI] · 03-15-2003, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doglips
Liked that one too

I wrote it all by myself, no help from my mommy at all!! LOL!!!
I loved yours and thank you for posting the inspiration. I'd also like to thank the academy and all the "little" people.......

03-14-2003, 06:16 AM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,089	Bush Defends Decision to Bomb Florida Bush Defends Decision to Bomb Florida 3/14/2003 - Marni Malarkey -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "They had it coming," sighed President Bush yesterday, commenting on his decision to drop the MOAB bomb on Florida. "Since the 2000 election debacle, this is simply something that's been on my 'to do' list, but what with 9-11 and the aftermath of that, I hadn't been able to get around to it." Lawmakers from both major parties backed the president's actions, saying that "for as long as the State of Florida is allowed to run rampant, the security of the United States is at risk. Situations like this have to be stopped before they spiral completely out of control." President Bush also cited "the whole Elian thing," "Gloria Estefan" as well as "my pesky little brother" as other reasons for the attack. The president, in a televised speech to the nation, said that the administration was not planning to attack Florida and leave it in ruins. "We plan to bring about 'regime change,' rebuild, and help those people democratize and lead better lives." He added that troops would invade Florida later this week and after quelling local unrest, would give food and other aid to the local population. "This operation will be in the finest moral tradition of America." Former vice-president Al Gore added his name in support of "Operation About Time," as it has come to be known, saying, "to be quite frank, I'd even be pleased if we just turned the whole sorry place into a pile of rubble and left it that way.

03-14-2003, 07:35 AM	#2
Sniper[MI] Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Future 51st state, "New Hope" Posts: 3,796	In a related story Chupacabra Gazzette reports, Hollywood "Missed it by that much." 03/12/03 Sally Mander Reporting In a stunning revelation, Whitehouse officials said that "Operation About time" was almost not carried out. In today's press conference, Chuck Emalin stated that top level Military officials actually had two plans tabled and that the president had chosen the Florida test at the last minute. "Operation, Two Birds with one stone" was seriously considered by the administration. Operation, "Two Birds with one stone" had been planned to see how much damage the MOAB bomb would do to a high density population center. Hollywood and specifically the Academy Awards were chosen to be that operations focal point. The test was ditched in the final phases of planning as the administration found it would be too costly to bus out all the decent honest people, aand they also thought that even the actors and liberal zealots might begin to figure something was about to happen. Operation Planner, I.B. Jammin said, "Even the dumbest of the Hollywood elite would have figured something was afoot after 3 days of busses rolling people out. And surely the huge bullseye that was to be painted on the roof of the academy building would have tipped off a few of the smarter ones. All involved though agreed that part of the plan could not have been done as it was sure to be a tip off. "The part about having the free communist poetry reading and anti war rally was just too much," Stated Gnot A. Zealot. "Even Striesand would have seen this comming." The Operation was scrubbed in favor of Floridas Operation, "About time." Chupacabra Press gazette, "Sucking the truth out." since 1783 this storyis complete and total bs reprinting and redistributing is like totally forbidden and stuff. Buffy St Youingin, editor. __________________ FNUH!

03-14-2003, 09:29 AM	#4
Big Dog Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tallahassee, Florida Posts: 10,214	Yeah, they tried to silence us, but they dropped it in the forrest - how's that for their vaunted accuracy? We break wind in their general direction. If they were serious about the Cracker Threat, they would bomb the Miami and Tampa/St. Pete areas. But stay away from the Everglades - the gators have enough stress already from the Yankee Tourists. Maybe bomb southern Orlando say, about mid-June? Center it on Mouseland. When the Occupation Forces arrive, be sure to stop in at the Welcome Center for some OJ and cookies! __________________ Moderator of: AR15/M16, M14/M1A, New/Beginning Shooters and Militaria/Collectables.

03-14-2003, 09:16 AM	#3
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,089	Liked that one too