NEW Stock Market Terms Learned Last Year

Doglips · 04-17-2003, 01:01 PM

NEW Stock Market Terms Learned Last Year
2002 VOCABULARY TERMS

CEO ... Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO ... Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET ... A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET ... An extended period when kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING ... The art of buying low, and selling lower.

P/E RATIO ... The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market goes lower.

BROKER ... What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR ... My life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST ... Idiot who just downgraded my stock.

STOCK SPLIT ... When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets between them.

FINANCIAL PLANNER ... A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION ... The day after I buy stocks.

CASH FLOW ... The movement my money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO ... What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker.

WINDOWS 2000 ... What you jump out of when you are the poor sucker above.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR ... Last year's investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT ... an archaic word, no longer in use.

401K ... now known as only a 201K.

Oxford · 04-17-2003, 11:40 PM

Very accurately described!!!!

:nod:

04-17-2003, 01:01 PM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,089	NEW Stock Market Terms Learned Last Year NEW Stock Market Terms Learned Last Year 2002 VOCABULARY TERMS CEO ... Chief Embezzlement Officer CFO ... Corporate Fraud Officer BULL MARKET ... A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET ... An extended period when kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING ... The art of buying low, and selling lower. P/E RATIO ... The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market goes lower. BROKER ... What my broker has made me. STANDARD & POOR ... My life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST ... Idiot who just downgraded my stock. STOCK SPLIT ... When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets between them. FINANCIAL PLANNER ... A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION ... The day after I buy stocks. CASH FLOW ... The movement my money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO ... What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker. WINDOWS 2000 ... What you jump out of when you are the poor sucker above. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR ... Last year's investor who is now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT ... an archaic word, no longer in use. 401K ... now known as only a 201K.

04-17-2003, 11:40 PM	#2
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,023 Blog Entries: 4	Very accurately described!!!! :nod: __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".