L. L. Bean to Market Suicide Bomber Vests

Doglips · 04-30-2003, 12:39 PM

L. L. Bean to Market Suicide Bomber Vests
4/30/2003 - William Grim

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Freeport, Maine - Venerable outdoor clothes manufacturer L. L. Bean today announced that it was going to begin marketing a line of suicide bomber vests to the lucrative Middle East market.

"We think that your typical crazed Muslim suicide bomber is looking for the durability and quality that the name L. L. Bean represents," said Shirley Bean, Vice President in charge of Foreign Sales. "Our 'Bombs-a-Million'® Suicide Bomber Vest features 20 pockets that allow the suicide bomber to comfortably carry up to 40 sticks of dynamite or 15 kilos of plastique without creasing or fraying the material. And it has that stylish comfort that L. L. Bean is so famous for. Plus, if the vest is in any way damaged during a bombing attempt, you know that L. L. Bean will fix or replace the damaged vest free of charge."

Ads for the "Bombs-Million"® vest start airing this week on the Al-Jazeera and CNN networks and will feature celebrity spokesmodels Susan Sarandon and Jane Fonda. Industry analysts are already predicting a rosy 2nd quarter for L. L. Bean based on sales projections for the suicide vests.

In related news, Columbus, Ohio-based Victoria Secrets has just announced the addition of the crotchless burqa to its Fall catalog.

04-30-2003, 12:39 PM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,089	L. L. Bean to Market Suicide Bomber Vests L. L. Bean to Market Suicide Bomber Vests 4/30/2003 - William Grim -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Freeport, Maine - Venerable outdoor clothes manufacturer L. L. Bean today announced that it was going to begin marketing a line of suicide bomber vests to the lucrative Middle East market. "We think that your typical crazed Muslim suicide bomber is looking for the durability and quality that the name L. L. Bean represents," said Shirley Bean, Vice President in charge of Foreign Sales. "Our 'Bombs-a-Million'® Suicide Bomber Vest features 20 pockets that allow the suicide bomber to comfortably carry up to 40 sticks of dynamite or 15 kilos of plastique without creasing or fraying the material. And it has that stylish comfort that L. L. Bean is so famous for. Plus, if the vest is in any way damaged during a bombing attempt, you know that L. L. Bean will fix or replace the damaged vest free of charge." Ads for the "Bombs-Million"® vest start airing this week on the Al-Jazeera and CNN networks and will feature celebrity spokesmodels Susan Sarandon and Jane Fonda. Industry analysts are already predicting a rosy 2nd quarter for L. L. Bean based on sales projections for the suicide vests. In related news, Columbus, Ohio-based Victoria Secrets has just announced the addition of the crotchless burqa to its Fall catalog.