Top 49 Things that would never happen in a James Bond film.

Doglips · 07-16-2003, 07:09 AM

Top 49 Things that would never happen in a James Bond film.
By DvlsDice

Rank:
1) The bad guy gives up and gives a full confession
2) Bond show his feminin side.
3) James visits the clinic due to genital itching
4) Bond and the evil guy sits down to discuss their differences and compromise.
5) Bond car runs out of gas in the middle of a chase
6) Q finally punches him in the face for all of his smart***** remarks
7) Two awkward minutes of 007 searching for a condom, opening it at putting it on
8) Get a gaget from Q that he would never use.
9) James Bond give up drinking and women.
10) The elaberate death trap actually kills bond.
11) Accuse someone and be wrong.
12) "Wow! this gap looks too big for me to jump!, better find a safer way around"
13) Cry
14) An uninterrupted Thanksgiving dinner with the Bond family
15) he actually gets a scratch after falling from a plane without a parachute
16) Bond NOT blow up anything
17) 300 Paternity suits
18) Gun runs out of bullets
19) "What the hell difference does it make if its shaken???!!!"
20) His liver finally gives up and dies
21) 007 sued for child support by ***** Galore
22) Q quits to go make gadgets for Batman.
23) "No, Mister Bond, I am saving myself for marriage"
24) Drive a broken down car.
25) He does not sleep with someone for a whole week
26) Bond would shoot the villian with the same accuracy as the goons,
27) 007 contracts H.I.V.
28) Play a card game other than Backerat.
29) James Bond turn gay.
30) Erectile dysfunction.
31) James Bond gets rejected by a hot woman
32) Don't worry James, it happens to everyone sometime, dear.
33) A former Bond girl sues him for child support
34) The grim reaper finally gets fed up and kills bond with his bare hands
35) "sorry, Mr. Bond, the tests are in.. you have EVERY STD"
36) James stuck in London writing reports to justify his job
37) James not gettin' any
38) Early Sex Girl Lives...James Dies
39) he has to jump on the grenade.. you know what I mean...
40) Moneypenny sues for sexual harassment
41) James Bond comes in contact with a woman that isnt a super model (never)
42) Evil genius dispenses with the laser bearing sharks and shoot James in the head
43) My plan to kill you, Bond, is that I hold this gun and pull the trigger.
44) he needs to take a poop
45) He gets killed
46) the use of a condom
47) "Sorry miss, but i'm practising abstinence."
48) James Bond fighting to the death with Jason Voorhees
49) The villain finally kills Bond, Q, R, AND the hot babe.

07-16-2003, 07:09 AM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,088	Top 49 Things that would never happen in a James Bond film. Top 49 Things that would never happen in a James Bond film. By DvlsDice Rank: 1) The bad guy gives up and gives a full confession 2) Bond show his feminin side. 3) James visits the clinic due to genital itching 4) Bond and the evil guy sits down to discuss their differences and compromise. 5) Bond car runs out of gas in the middle of a chase 6) Q finally punches him in the face for all of his smart*** remarks 7) Two awkward minutes of 007 searching for a condom, opening it at putting it on 8) Get a gaget from Q that he would never use. 9) James Bond give up drinking and women. 10) The elaberate death trap actually kills bond. 11) Accuse someone and be wrong. 12) "Wow! this gap looks too big for me to jump!, better find a safer way around" 13) Cry 14) An uninterrupted Thanksgiving dinner with the Bond family 15) he actually gets a scratch after falling from a plane without a parachute 16) Bond NOT blow up anything 17) 300 Paternity suits 18) Gun runs out of bullets 19) "What the hell difference does it make if its shaken???!!!" 20) His liver finally gives up and dies 21) 007 sued for child support by *** Galore 22) Q quits to go make gadgets for Batman. 23) "No, Mister Bond, I am saving myself for marriage" 24) Drive a broken down car. 25) He does not sleep with someone for a whole week 26) Bond would shoot the villian with the same accuracy as the goons, 27) 007 contracts H.I.V. 28) Play a card game other than Backerat. 29) James Bond turn gay. 30) Erectile dysfunction. 31) James Bond gets rejected by a hot woman 32) Don't worry James, it happens to everyone sometime, dear. 33) A former Bond girl sues him for child support 34) The grim reaper finally gets fed up and kills bond with his bare hands 35) "sorry, Mr. Bond, the tests are in.. you have EVERY STD" 36) James stuck in London writing reports to justify his job 37) James not gettin' any 38) Early Sex Girl Lives...James Dies 39) he has to jump on the grenade.. you know what I mean... 40) Moneypenny sues for sexual harassment 41) James Bond comes in contact with a woman that isnt a super model (never) 42) Evil genius dispenses with the laser bearing sharks and shoot James in the head 43) My plan to kill you, Bond, is that I hold this gun and pull the trigger. 44) he needs to take a poop 45) He gets killed 46) the use of a condom 47) "Sorry miss, but i'm practising abstinence." 48) James Bond fighting to the death with Jason Voorhees 49) The villain finally kills Bond, Q, R, AND the hot babe.