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10-16-2003, 05:45 AM
| #1 |
| Senior Member   Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida
Posts: 9,090
|  Interfering Cubs Fan Steve Bartman Said To Be Now Sharing Bunker with Saddam Thursday, October 16, 2003 Interfering Cubs Fan Steve Bartman Said To Be Now Sharing Bunker with Saddam 10/15/2003 - Steve Tanner -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stupid, friendless and fearing for his life, Cubs anti-fan now rumored to in hiding with Saddam. “He left Chicago sometime during the night with a flashlight, M&Ms and several tears” said his Mother Barbara Bartman. “Steve was a shy boy. No friends really to speak of. That many have been because he was a 28 your old man living with his mother. It could also be that he is really, really stupid” It is told he was picked up after the game in an Iraqi caravan disguised as a Marlin’s team bus. Sources tell us that they are one in the same. He received a special invitation by Saddam himself. Apparently the ex-dictator is a Florida fan. “I hope Steve is alright” says his Mother. “He has never been away from the house for more than a day. I am especially worried about the nights, since he is a bed wetter.”  |
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10-16-2003, 09:42 AM
| #2 |
| Senior Member   Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 10,750
| Steve replaces the goat.
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10-16-2003, 02:27 PM
| #3 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Too Dang Hot, Arizona
Posts: 4,284
| "Steve, let me intoduce you to the Witness Protection Program. "Your name is now Phyliss. You will wear this wig and tons of make-up until we tell you otherwise. "You no longer live at 8117 Westwood Drive, Chicago. You now live at 93XXXXX Evergerlades Drive, Everglades, Florida. "You no longer drive this Lexus SC400..you now drive a 1969 Nova. "You will NOT have a telephone since we can't trust you to NOT brag about your stupid interferrence trick and the need to be in someone's book. Consequently, all mail you write will be unsealed and monitored by the US Marshall's Service. "You no longer drink Budweiser beer and you now prefer Carling's Black Label. "Your daughter will refer to you as, "I once had a daddy....", period...end of discussion. "You will no longer be allowed to watch television sports in fear that you will shout..."That's me.....that's me. The one that Moises Alou is cussing out." "Although you once enjoyed fishing your favorite past time is now watching Home and Garden Television and, regardless of what people say, Peter Jenkins, Rosie O'Donnell and Martha Stewart are your new heroes. "And, if anyone asks, yes....you voted for Al Gore. They will believe that. "By the way, here is your $50,000 check from the Florida Marlins....enjoy.
__________________ "It confuses me how some people can vigorously go against the 2nd. Amendment and still call themselves patriotic"-me |
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10-16-2003, 04:33 PM
| #4 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Calhoun, Georgia
Posts: 675
| What a way to become famous, or is it infamous?
__________________ "You can sleep well at night because rough men are willing to commit violent acts on your behalf" George Orwell |
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10-16-2003, 06:06 PM
| #5 |
| Super Moderator   Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri
Posts: 12,851
| Dale, I'm laughing my stupid head off over your comments. Great observations! Unfortunately, they're more true than just a joke. The guy will never live that two seconds of ineptness down. Ox   :nod:
__________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right". |
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10-16-2003, 08:54 PM
| #6 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Behind the Iron Curtain
Posts: 517
| HEY! I LIKE Carling's Black Label!
__________________ WARNING: CZs MAY BE HABIT-FORMING (Consult a doctor if nursing or pregnant). |
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10-16-2003, 09:08 PM
| #7 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Too Dang Hot, Arizona
Posts: 4,284
| Sorry, FEG.....I hang my head in shame. You're obviously a better man than me, LOL. Glad it gave ya a 'daily chuckle', Ox. It was off the cuff and totally adlib, too. See, I DO have a sense of humor...albeit dry sometimes, he he he he.
__________________ "It confuses me how some people can vigorously go against the 2nd. Amendment and still call themselves patriotic"-me |
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10-16-2003, 11:21 PM
| #8 |
| Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri
Posts: 12,851
|  Dale: Bet you were drawing on your LEO background about what happens to people in the Witness Protection Program. Right??? The guy may want to get a name change and move down under with Mick. That's where all the trouble makers are, anyway. :nod:
__________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right". |
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10-16-2003, 11:32 PM
| #9 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Too Dang Hot, Arizona
Posts: 4,284
| Yep...we got the US Attorney's Office to sponsor a few WITSECs. It's an amazing process, actually. That's all I can say or I gotta go in too, lol.
__________________ "It confuses me how some people can vigorously go against the 2nd. Amendment and still call themselves patriotic"-me |
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10-17-2003, 08:54 AM
| #10 |
| Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri
Posts: 12,851
| Dale: Then that an  topic :right: 
__________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right". |
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