dear tide!!!

[tommy]

Dear Tide:


I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since
the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now
that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact,
about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My
unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was
and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another,
and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get
the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.
After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid
Tide with bleach alternative; and, to my surprise and satisfaction, all of
the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well, that some
detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative
and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect! I thank
you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to
write a letter to the Hefty bag people...
Signed,

A relieved menopausal wife