Bush Calls for Establishment of Starfleet Citing Klingon Aggression

Doglips · 01-20-2004, 06:56 AM

Bush Calls for Establishment of Starfleet Citing Klingon Aggression
1/20/2004 - William Grim

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Washington, DC - Coming just days after his historic call for a return to manned outer space exploration, President George W. Bush is sending a bill to Congress that will establish a new branch of the Armed Forces known as Starfleet. Citing an increase in Klingon aggression, President Bush said the move is designed to prevent the Klingons from using their weapons of mass destruction against the United States.

“We know for a fact that the Klingons have photon torpedoes and phasers. Heck, even Hans Blix doesn’t deny that,” said the President during an afternoon session with reporters in the Oval Office. “And there’s also the Klingon cloaking device. But fortunately the Klingons can’t use their phasers and cloaking device at the same time, but it’s only a matter of time before they figure out how to do it. So we’ve got to act fast.”

The President would neither confirm nor deny rumors that the Klingon Empire is cooperating with Al Qaeda, nor would he comment on reports that National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice has been sent to the Neutral Zone for preliminary diplomatic talks with Romulan representatives.

In related news, the Department of Homeland Security announced that as of February 1st all visitors to the United States from the Klingon Empire will be photographed, fingerprinted and have plaster casts made of their foreheads.

01-20-2004, 06:56 AM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,089	Bush Calls for Establishment of Starfleet Citing Klingon Aggression Bush Calls for Establishment of Starfleet Citing Klingon Aggression 1/20/2004 - William Grim -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Washington, DC - Coming just days after his historic call for a return to manned outer space exploration, President George W. Bush is sending a bill to Congress that will establish a new branch of the Armed Forces known as Starfleet. Citing an increase in Klingon aggression, President Bush said the move is designed to prevent the Klingons from using their weapons of mass destruction against the United States. “We know for a fact that the Klingons have photon torpedoes and phasers. Heck, even Hans Blix doesn’t deny that,” said the President during an afternoon session with reporters in the Oval Office. “And there’s also the Klingon cloaking device. But fortunately the Klingons can’t use their phasers and cloaking device at the same time, but it’s only a matter of time before they figure out how to do it. So we’ve got to act fast.” The President would neither confirm nor deny rumors that the Klingon Empire is cooperating with Al Qaeda, nor would he comment on reports that National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice has been sent to the Neutral Zone for preliminary diplomatic talks with Romulan representatives. In related news, the Department of Homeland Security announced that as of February 1st all visitors to the United States from the Klingon Empire will be photographed, fingerprinted and have plaster casts made of their foreheads.