Aviation Humor - Page 2

snuffysmith · 06-02-2008, 10:40 AM

Guys, those stories are great, I am reminded of the humor in uniform section in readers digest. Why don't we start one on G&G? I know these old vets have some good war stories, I might even tell one myself.

Snuffy

andrew cochran · 06-02-2008, 10:49 AM

Nice I like it! LOL

TXplt · 06-02-2008, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jerry

Hey Apy,
This was an old post by gollly.

Funny you mention an OV Tx. I broke my danged thumb on the Bronc. We had a split OA-10/OV-10 squadron. My Electrician counterpart on the OV side has having a hard time getting a squib out of a fire bottle in back. I gave it a try, the wrench slipped, ouch.

gotta love the 'ole CND :0

Ouch !--used to go up into the WW's to set the m2's and check the bottles. Also, coolers and "cargo" fit quite well in the back of the Bronc (did hear of some folks doing some "entertaining" there during air shows, but this was probably more urban legend than anything else). I PCS'd out of a squadron getting ready to convert OV-10 to OA-10 (Shaw, right after DS1; 20/21 TASS) to go fly fast movers. As I recall, some of the most dangerous things in aviation have been:

A doctor in a bonanza
2 instructors in the same airplane
A flight attendant with a chipped tooth

tbonecpk · 06-02-2008, 04:49 PM

F-16 Pilot came along side a C-130. being a totall smart ass the F-16 Pilot radioed the C-130 and said "Check this out." He proceeded to do a few barrel roles a couple Immelman's and various other high g manuvers. C-130 radioed back oh yeah watch this. The C-130 kinda droned their for a few minutes. C-130 pilot radioed back the F-16 pilot and asked well what do you think? F-16 pilot asked what did you do? C-130 responded oh stretched out poored me a cup of coffee and took a nice crap.

Cyrano · 06-03-2008, 03:41 PM

Jerry, Big Dog: here's one out of Naval Aviation you can both appreciate. it was told to me by one of my instructors, who had been a top watchstander abouard the USS Constellation. He didn't have the deck when this happened, but he did see it.

The Connie was on Yankee Station during the Vietnam War. A Phantom with a full load of ordnance was spotted on the cat. The pilot looked left, looked right, ran up his engines and snapped a salute to the catapult officer. The cat officer snapped down his arm and the Phantom was launched on its way.

Now, when a fighter takes a cat shot, it usually dips for a moment as it comes off the bow before it steadies up and begins its climb-out. This time, the Phantom went straight ahead, losing altitude all the way. The pilot went full burner and the backseater dumped the ordnance. The bird finally stabilized about 10 feet off the water and started to climb at maybe 100 feet per minute. When they had a moment to think, the pilot and the RIO looked around, trying to figure out what was wrong.

What was wrong was that the pilot trusted his gauges and not his eyeballs. The cockpit lights said the wings were down and locked - but the Phantom had been shot off the cat with the wings folded and locked in the UP position!

They declared an emergency and managed to work around in the pattern and get the bird back down onto the deck without breaking it. When the Phantom pulled out of the arrester wires, the bridge messenger was waiting for the pilot and the RIO.

"Captain's compliments, and would you please lay up to his cabin on the double?"

When they got there, they found the commander of the air group, the Air Boss their squadron commander, the catapult officer, and their plane captain standing at attention before the Old man's desk. They fell in, and the Old Man looked them over for a long minute before he spoke.

"Gentlemen, on the handling of this in-flight emergency, well done. NOW WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU DUMMIES MANAGED TO LAUNCH A PHANTOM OFF MY FLIGHT DECK WITH THE WINGS FOLDED WITHOUT ANYBODY NOTICING?!"

tbonecpk · 06-06-2008, 11:10 AM

Oh my god lol naval aviation at its best

jerry · 06-06-2008, 03:39 PM

Thanks Cy,
Looks like some checklist were over looked. Always use the book.

Skibum · 06-09-2008, 08:37 AM

I heard about a crew chidf who gave a pilot who had transitioned from A-7's to P-3's the hand signal to unfold his wings, and about 30 seconds later got a very dirty look.

jerry · 06-09-2008, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXplt

Ouch !--used to go up into the WW's to set the m2's and check the bottles. Also, coolers and "cargo" fit quite well in the back of the Bronc (did hear of some folks doing some "entertaining" there during air shows, but this was probably more urban legend than anything else). I PCS'd out of a squadron getting ready to convert OV-10 to OA-10 (Shaw, right after DS1; 20/21 TASS) to go fly fast movers. As I recall, some of the most dangerous things in aviation have been:

A doctor in a bonanza
2 instructors in the same airplane
A flight attendant with a chipped tooth

LOL,

Thanks for all the stories. I love them to this day.
I was 23TASS/602nd CAMS TXplt.
We were the first OA-10A squadron before they broke them out to the individual units. They took me out of a cushy job in the 358th training squadron to go down there to work.

Apollyon67 · 06-26-2008, 02:53 PM

this stuff is timeless.

06-02-2008, 10:40 AM	#21
snuffysmith Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: central Arkansas Posts: 562	Guys, those stories are great, I am reminded of the humor in uniform section in readers digest. Why don't we start one on G&G? I know these old vets have some good war stories, I might even tell one myself. Snuffy __________________ time & weather changes everything

06-02-2008, 10:49 AM	#22
andrew cochran Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Little town in ARKANSAW! Posts: 2,141	Nice I like it! LOL __________________ If you don't have anything good to say... Don't say it!

06-02-2008, 04:49 PM	#24
tbonecpk Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: San Diego Cal Posts: 1,590 Blog Entries: 2	F-16 Pilot came along side a C-130. being a totall smart ass the F-16 Pilot radioed the C-130 and said "Check this out." He proceeded to do a few barrel roles a couple Immelman's and various other high g manuvers. C-130 radioed back oh yeah watch this. The C-130 kinda droned their for a few minutes. C-130 pilot radioed back the F-16 pilot and asked well what do you think? F-16 pilot asked what did you do? C-130 responded oh stretched out poored me a cup of coffee and took a nice crap. __________________ "Speak softly but carry a big stick" -Teddy Roosevelt

06-03-2008, 03:41 PM	#25
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,295	Jerry, Big Dog: here's one out of Naval Aviation you can both appreciate. it was told to me by one of my instructors, who had been a top watchstander abouard the USS Constellation. He didn't have the deck when this happened, but he did see it. The Connie was on Yankee Station during the Vietnam War. A Phantom with a full load of ordnance was spotted on the cat. The pilot looked left, looked right, ran up his engines and snapped a salute to the catapult officer. The cat officer snapped down his arm and the Phantom was launched on its way. Now, when a fighter takes a cat shot, it usually dips for a moment as it comes off the bow before it steadies up and begins its climb-out. This time, the Phantom went straight ahead, losing altitude all the way. The pilot went full burner and the backseater dumped the ordnance. The bird finally stabilized about 10 feet off the water and started to climb at maybe 100 feet per minute. When they had a moment to think, the pilot and the RIO looked around, trying to figure out what was wrong. What was wrong was that the pilot trusted his gauges and not his eyeballs. The cockpit lights said the wings were down and locked - but the Phantom had been shot off the cat with the wings folded and locked in the UP position! They declared an emergency and managed to work around in the pattern and get the bird back down onto the deck without breaking it. When the Phantom pulled out of the arrester wires, the bridge messenger was waiting for the pilot and the RIO. "Captain's compliments, and would you please lay up to his cabin on the double?" When they got there, they found the commander of the air group, the Air Boss their squadron commander, the catapult officer, and their plane captain standing at attention before the Old man's desk. They fell in, and the Old Man looked them over for a long minute before he spoke. "Gentlemen, on the handling of this in-flight emergency, well done. NOW WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU DUMMIES MANAGED TO LAUNCH A PHANTOM OFF MY FLIGHT DECK WITH THE WINGS FOLDED WITHOUT ANYBODY NOTICING?!" Last edited by Cyrano; 06-03-2008 at 03:43 PM.

06-06-2008, 11:10 AM	#26
tbonecpk Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: San Diego Cal Posts: 1,590 Blog Entries: 2	Oh my god lol naval aviation at its best __________________ "Speak softly but carry a big stick" -Teddy Roosevelt

06-06-2008, 03:39 PM	#27
jerry Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 10,871 Images: 9 Blog Entries: 1	Thanks Cy, Looks like some checklist were over looked. Always use the book. __________________ I'm a down home back woods redneck

06-09-2008, 08:37 AM	#28
Skibum Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 17	I heard about a crew chidf who gave a pilot who had transitioned from A-7's to P-3's the hand signal to unfold his wings, and about 30 seconds later got a very dirty look.

06-26-2008, 02:53 PM	#30
Apollyon67 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern Maryland Posts: 2,235 Images: 17	this stuff is timeless. __________________ "To err is human, to repent divine; to persist devilish." Ben Franklin