San Francisco marriages

Oxford · 03-09-2004, 09:29 AM

(A scene at City Hall in San Francisco )

"Next." Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."

"Names?"

"Tim and Jim Jones."

"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."

"Yes, we're brothers."

"Brothers? You can't get married."

"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"

"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"

"Incest?" No, we are not gay."

"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"

"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other.
Besides, we don't have any other prospects."

"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've
been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you
can get married to a woman."

"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I
have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a
woman. I want to marry Jim."

"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us
just because we are not gay?"

"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."

"Hi. We are here to get married."

"Names?"

"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."

"Who wants to marry whom?"

"We all want to marry each other."

"But there are four of you!"

"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane
loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June
and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can
express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."

"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."

"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"

"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just
for couples."

"Since when are you standing on tradition?"

"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."

"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The
more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the
constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage
license!"

"All right, all right. Next."

"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."

"In what names?"

"David Deets."

"And the other man?"

"That's all. I want to marry myself."

"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"

"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry
the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."

"That does it! I quit! You people are making a mockery of marriage!"

Doglips · 03-09-2004, 10:21 AM

SexyRedXterra · 03-09-2004, 01:56 PM

Very very true!

Oxford · 03-09-2004, 03:16 PM

We've know that for years. Seems that the U.S. floor is tilted that way and they all roll to California.

:right:

David N · 03-09-2004, 08:26 PM

Bizarre, but it does have a message.

SPOCAHP ANAR · 03-09-2004, 11:57 PM

:right: :right: :right:

03-09-2004, 09:29 AM	#1
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,023 Blog Entries: 4	San Francisco marriages (A scene at City Hall in San Francisco ) "Next." Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license." "Names?" "Tim and Jim Jones." "Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance." "Yes, we're brothers." "Brothers? You can't get married." "Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?" "Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!" "Incest?" No, we are not gay." "Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?" "For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects." "But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman." "Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim." "And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?" "All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next." "Hi. We are here to get married." "Names?" "John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson." "Who wants to marry whom?" "We all want to marry each other." "But there are four of you!" "That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship." "But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples." "So you're discriminating against bisexuals!" "No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples." "Since when are you standing on tradition?" "Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere." "Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!" "All right, all right. Next." "Hello, I'd like a marriage license." "In what names?" "David Deets." "And the other man?" "That's all. I want to marry myself." "Marry yourself? What do you mean?" "Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return." "That does it! I quit! You people are making a mockery of marriage!" __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

03-09-2004, 01:56 PM	#3
SexyRedXterra Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: NJ Shore and Western PA Posts: 1,206	Very very true! __________________ "God doesn't always do things on our schedule, but he's always right on time."

03-09-2004, 03:16 PM	#4
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,023 Blog Entries: 4	We've know that for years. Seems that the U.S. floor is tilted that way and they all roll to California. :right: __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

03-09-2004, 08:26 PM	#5
David N Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 198	Bizarre, but it does have a message. __________________ -- In Educatio Veritas est, In Veritas Lux est (In knowledge is truth, in truth is light)

03-09-2004, 11:57 PM	#6
SPOCAHP ANAR Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: SC-upstate Posts: 4,096 Images: 3 Blog Entries: 4	:right: :right: :right: __________________ Spocrest Out!..........

03-09-2004, 10:21 AM	#2
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,089