Irish doctors request

[7mmag6]

Dear Doctor White:
Lard thunderin' jassssus bye, I'm at me wits
end and I'm prayin' you'll operate on me so I can have
me nuts cut off and make me sterile. Me reasons are
numerous. After being married for seven years and
having had 9 children, I have come to the conclusion
that contraceptives are friggin' useless.
After getting married here in Gander bye, I
was advised by the priest to use the rhythm method.
Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, me wife fell
pregnant, and I ruptured meself doing the Cha-Cha.
Apart from dat, where do ye find a band when ye get
the urge at two
o'clock in the mornin'?
Another doctor suggested the safe period. At
the time, we wus livin' with de in-laws and we had to
wait tree weeks fer the safeperiod, when the 'ouse was
empty. Needless to say dat didn't work, and da missus
got pregnant again. Twins dis time.
A lady of several years' experience said if
we made love while breast feeding we would be all
right. Well, I finished up with clear skin, silky hair
and was very healthy... but da wife, well she got
pregnant again.
Another tale we 'eard was if da wife jumped
up and down after intercourse dis would prevent
pregnancy. She slipped a disk, stubbed er big toe, but
she still got pregnant again. Jaaaaasus nother set of
twins.
I asked the pharmacist about the condoms and
he demonstrated them, so I bought a big box. Me wife
fell pregnant again, which did not surprise me as I
never did believe how stretching one of dem things
over yer index finger could ever stop da missus from
getting
knocked up yet again.
We tried the coil next but dat didn't work.
It had a left-hand screw and me wife is definitely a
right-hand screw. The Dutch cap was next and seemed
to be our answer, but the wife got severe headaches
when the only size available was too tight across 'er
forehead.
Ye can see me problems right? If I can't
'ave da operation I will 'ave to resort to oral sex,
but lard jasssssus bye I can't believe dat talking
bout it is any substitute fer the real ting. Do ye??


Yours sincerely,
Eli from Conception Bay


P.S. Me fadder didn't have any condoms way back
den so he skinned an eel and used that. Needless to
say it didn't work......poked hes pecker through the
eye . dat's how I got me name.

[gunssb]

Originally Posted by 7mmag6

P.S. Me fadder didn't have any condoms way back
den so he skinned an eel and used that. Needless to
say it didn't work......poked hes pecker through the
eye . dat's how I got me name.

:jaw:

[Oxford]

That is one da mn ed funny story. :nod: