Marine Jokes

[Rugged]

Esp for Wir Waffe Enjoy...

An Army specialist was walking down the street in fallujah when he spotted two Marines digging a very deep, very narrow hole. After watching them for awhile , he deceided to ask them what they were doing. THe marines explained that they were tasked with erecting a flagpole 27' in height in the middle of the square, and since they did not have a ladder, they were digging a hole so they could measure how tall the pole was.

Shaking his head, the army specialist asked why they didn't just measure it laying out on the ground.

With contempt, the Marines replied "Stupid Grunt, we're trying to merasure the height, not the length"
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What has an IQ of 42?

40 marines plus their LT.
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Q. "Why do the commodes in Marine barracks have the cut-out type seats?"
A. "So that if the seat falls while they're drinking, it won't smack them in the back of the head"
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A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, ''Wanna hear a MARINE joke?''

The guy next to him replies, ''Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs, and I'm a MARINE. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2'' tall, weighs 225, and he's a MARINE. The fella next to him is 6'5'' tall, weighs 250, and he's also a MARINE. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?''

The sailor says, ''Nah, I don't want to have to explain it three times.''
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A Marine and an Airman are walking down a country rode when the Airman spots a goat standing by the side of the road with its horns caught between the rails of the fence. The Airman looks at the Marine and says, "Man, I've always wanted to give that a try." He looks around, sees there's nobody nearby, then drops his pants and proceeds to s*****ze the hapless goat. When he's done, he pulls his pants up, grins at the Marine, and says "Okay, your turn." --So the Marine sticks his head through the fence.
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Q. "Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?"
A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

[hounddawg]

Q: How do you kill a whole company of Marines?
A: Throw a handfull of sand against a wall and yell "Hit the beach!"

[Rugged]

what's stupider than 2 saliors building a pier in the middle of the desert?

4 marines fishing from it.
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[Oxford]

Good jokes! :right:

[7mmag6]

Pretty funny did you learn those in the girl scouts?

[Jay]

Jokes are often used to hide serious emotion..... such as feelings of inadequacy.... those jokes are understandable expressions of jealously and wanna-be syndrome. :nod:

Inter-service jokes have always been part of the US military, and should be. They're good-natured ribbing. The only time my hackles raise, is when the ribbing/joking/harrassment eminates from one who has never worn the uniform of one of our armed forces. That's unacceptable.

[Gunnie Ed]

Originally Posted by Jay

Jokes are often used to hide serious emotion..... such as feelings of inadequacy.... those jokes are understandable expressions of jealously and wanna-be syndrome. :nod:

Inter-service jokes have always been part of the US military, and should be. They're good-natured ribbing. The only time my hackles raise, is when the ribbing/joking/harrassment eminates from one who has never worn the uniform of one of our armed forces. That's unacceptable.

what about army brats? are we allowed to make jokes?

[hounddawg]

Originally Posted by Wir Waffe

In boot camp we got our butts beat by our drill instructors while the sissys in the navy boot camp enjoyed deserts & base liberty, the army was smokin and jokin' and getting weekly calls home to mommy, and the airfarce - did they even go to boot camp?

In the army we had a proverb: "Any damned fool can be uncomfortable." :nod:

Originally Posted by Wir Waffe

A force of 200,000 Marines is superior to a force of 2 million from ANY other branch of service from any country! In fact, to try to compete with the reputation and capability of the average Marine Grunt..the rest of the US forces had to invent the term "special forces".

Even Reconnaisance Command? Or the S.A.S./S.B.S.? S.D.G.S.? Spetznatz? I most seriously doubt it.

[sum1_special]

there is way to much arrogance radiating from this room, I could feel it on the other side of the forum. in all honesty, what the hell is with some of you military folk? its almost like the government slips something in your water. a few weeks ago at a supermarket an ex-marine and ex-soldier were about to beat the hell out of each other while arguing about what branch of the military is better. why does it matter so much?

Edit: ah yes, i forgot the joke found this one on the web, ahem:

What does marine stand for?

M - my, A - arse, R - rides, I - in, N - navy, E - equipped, S - ships

heres the page: http://www.dirtyjokesinc.com/joke-ma...194.htm?rate=6 notice the hostility :gangster:.

[7mmag6]

naw Im just firing back at rugged no harm no foul, by the way there aint no such thing as an ex-marine

[sum1_special]

eh? hmmm, well i dont know. i'm not a military man. but they were 2 middle aged men goin' on about something.

[rebel727]

All branches of the armed forces are at each other alla time. Causes some knock down drag outs sometimes. It's called pride. But, when the chips are down they're all right there in the thick of it and it don't matter who you are or who you're with.

[Big Dog]

Well, I started in the Airfarce, then went into the Canoe Club. All the services are full of good people, who put their butts on the line for us every day. And in Airfarce bootcamp, we had THE BEST instructors the Boyscouts could part with! :joker:

In all seriousness though, if it was me in a hotzone, I want a bunch of Jarheads around me! "All Marines are Riflemen"

[Habakkuk21]

US Army, 1972-1975.

Our brother, Rudyard Kipling, wrote :
Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.

Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy how's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

When you think about the mission of the military, why would you expect Sunday School teachers to show up for it ?
(By the way - I taught Sunday School while I was in the Army)
Which doesn't excuse the behavior of bullies and punks, who exist everywhere. Starting fights just to start fights is pretty borderline, but it can be chalked up to youthful exuberance.
The true expression of the military man or woman is not who can beat up who, IMHO. I believe it is
Duty
Honor
Country

[inuyasha]

Originally Posted by Jay

Inter-service jokes have always been part of the US military, and should be. They're good-natured ribbing. The only time my hackles raise, is when the ribbing/joking/harrassment eminates from one who has never worn the uniform of one of our armed forces. That's unacceptable.

how about people set on joining very soon? i plan on going airforce because i love flying, and i dont believe the army would put me to good use, the airforce tends to give better food and treat you more like a man. my grandpa did air force, dad did army, im going air force, and *appologies to all* my friend i got to join me in enlisting... but hes going navy (he thinks.. hes debating which branch but either navy, or marines) im not enlisted yet, but ive been fully determined on joining no matter the cost since about the time i was 8. even though we arent signed up yet, doesnt stop us from giving each other crap about what branch we are going into, its just understood that all branches are there for a reason and serve that purpose. even gave each other crap about how i did some policework for a while and he wanted to but couldnt so he mocked me for doing it

keep up the military jokes, my dad and i have loved most of the ones i hear *i read them to him, he has such a lack of computer knowledge he cant turn mine on... scary to think he worked radar for missiles over in 'nam about a day after the war*

[whirlwind]

personally ive always liked marines. my dad (my personal hero) was with the first division at the chosin res. and when i got in the army and was stationed in some places where marines were also we spent the begining of every weekend beating the living he-ll outa eachother and the later part of every weekend buying eachother rounds and refusing to answer questions from the c.i.d. about what happened.

[ducktapehero]

Former US Army Infantry here. We basically do the same thing as the Marines but we don't have the cool uniforms. And new equipment isn't always a blessing. Half the time we've got the "cool wiz bang high tech" stuff that don't work worth a crap and the poor Marines are stuck with the stuff that actually works. But since I was Infantry I always felt closer to Marines than the rest of the Army. REMF's.

[Dallas]

Yep duckttape, I second that.