Little boy humor

[Oxford]

Introduction:

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!

b) For those who already have children past this age, this is

hilarious.

c) For those who have children this age, this is NOT funny.

d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.
Things I have learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them
with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
Strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball
a long way.

6.) The window panes (even double-panes) do not stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it is
already too late.

8) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is 4-ever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you

still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15). VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
Show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably do NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys
do not like ovens (and vice versa).

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and
brake fluid.

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or without kids.

[Thrawn]

8) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and
brake fluid.

Read my mind?

[3 WEELIN GEEZER]

:ballons: I am not his father. I see you have there a darth fatso. Does the brake fluid work?

[Thrawn]

Have'nt tried it yet, just struck me as funny since it was exactly what I was thinking.
The Star Wras kid thing was pretty funny, thought I'd share it.

[mosquitofish]

funny stuff and all true Im a DAD.

[CalifgirlinOk]

SO TRUE...

[cubbieman]

Originally Posted by Oxford

6.) The window panes (even double-panes) do not stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.

what about triple pane? *trying*

oh crap


window panes don't stop tee balls either, even when thrown by a noodle armed 11 year old