A few thoughts on the French

Apollyon67 · 11-11-2005, 06:29 PM

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals.
Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
Mark Twain.

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
General George S. Patton.

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
Norman Schwartzkopf.

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
Rush Limbaugh,

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
Regis Philbin.

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses
of whisky I don't know."
P.J O'Rourke (1989).

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."
John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona.

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people!"
Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either"
Jay Leno.

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
David Letterman

Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada.
Ted Nugent.

War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II.
The favorite bumper sticker in Washington now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'"
Tom Brokaw.

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
Dennis Miller.

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq."
Dennis Miller

Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you
are French.

Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII?
A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?

"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried."
Rep. R. Blount (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling
their military.

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney
(AP), Paris, March 5, 2003
The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney.
The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

gunssb · 11-11-2005, 07:23 PM

Funny.

But just wanted to point out that today in Vets day in France too - the last war they fought. They once had a bunch of patriots ready to die for their country. The older people have much regard for the US. With the way things are going, what if our country turns into what is modern France...

Apollyon67 · 11-12-2005, 06:45 PM

Point taken Gunssb, I could have waited to post this.

gunssb · 11-12-2005, 11:46 PM

No worries - its funny

I actually was at a Bastille day celebration (which is their version of I-day) while in France. There were old vets who could hardly walk but were pretty proud to be there.

But they were giving out medals to the younger guys - for what, I had no clue

Some guy was telling me in modern textbooks they tell the story as de Gaulle & the resistance liberated France

WetKnife · 11-12-2005, 11:55 PM

Gentlemen , Gentlemen , the French are lost and need our help to find their Balls and the Mojo back . Remember they helped us break away from England and Napoleon taught the world about mobile warfare . As I see it the French has not had a Government worth a !!!! since WW I . Holy !!!! I just had a brainstorm ! Maybe to get France back into the fold we need someone to invade them and degregate them like the Germans did in WWII. Their resistances forces were very effective and the Germans had their hands busy. On the other hand screw the French , ignore them long enough and maybe they will go away.

Johan Malan · 11-13-2005, 01:50 AM

Screw the French I say, about 300 years ago they threw my family out of France because they were Protestant!!

hounddawg · 11-13-2005, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johan Malan

Screw the French I say, about 300 years ago they threw my family out of France because they were Protestant!!

Hey, Dude! Not forgiving a wrong done to you is one thing, but it seems you want to hold them responsible for doing you a favour! You could have been a Frogger if they didn't!

Don't get me wrong. Not liking the French is quite sensible. Detesting them is admirable.

wirehunt · 11-13-2005, 01:40 PM

I'm pleased to see Kiwi's aren't the only ones that don't think much of the smelly little frenchmen.

Johan Malan · 11-13-2005, 02:15 PM

!!!! I'm no kiwi!!
They are our Biggest Rivals when it comes to sport!!
I'm a South African by birth.
(No I'm not black)

ALR · 11-13-2005, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johan Malan

Screw the French I say, about 300 years ago they threw my family out of France because they were Protestant!!

Whew, Protestants, thats ok, I thought you said Prostitutes. Now it makes sense!

Johan Malan · 11-13-2005, 07:31 PM

Arn't all French Woman Whores? Now Why would they kick the prostitutes out?
France would have seen a big population decline.

hounddawg · 11-13-2005, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johan Malan

!!!! I'm no kiwi!!
They are our Biggest Rivals when it comes to sport!!
I'm a South African by birth.
(No I'm not black)

He means that he is not All Black :nod:

11-11-2005, 06:29 PM	#1
Apollyon67 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern Maryland Posts: 2,235 Images: 17	A few thoughts on the French France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." Mark Twain. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." General George S. Patton. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." Norman Schwartzkopf. "We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure" Jacques Chirac, President of France "As far as France is concerned, you're right." Rush Limbaugh, "The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." Regis Philbin. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whisky I don't know." P.J O'Rourke (1989). "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona. "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people!" Conan O'Brien "I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either" Jay Leno. "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." David Letterman Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada. Ted Nugent. War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II. The favorite bumper sticker in Washington now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'" Tom Brokaw. "What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?" Dennis Miller. "It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us." Alan Kent "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." Argus Hamilton "Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'" Rep. Roy Blunt (MO) "The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq." Dennis Miller Raise your right hand if you like the French ... raise both hands if you are French. Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII? A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur? "Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried." Rep. R. Blount (MO) "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military. French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. __________________ "To err is human, to repent divine; to persist devilish." Ben Franklin

11-12-2005, 06:45 PM	#3
Apollyon67 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern Maryland Posts: 2,235 Images: 17	Point taken Gunssb, I could have waited to post this. __________________ "To err is human, to repent divine; to persist devilish." Ben Franklin

11-13-2005, 01:40 PM	#8
wirehunt Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Otago New Zealand Posts: 655	I'm pleased to see Kiwi's aren't the only ones that don't think much of the smelly little frenchmen. __________________ Happy Hunting

11-11-2005, 07:23 PM	#2
gunssb Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: socal Posts: 1,833	Funny. But just wanted to point out that today in Vets day in France too - the last war they fought. They once had a bunch of patriots ready to die for their country. The older people have much regard for the US. With the way things are going, what if our country turns into what is modern France...

11-12-2005, 11:46 PM	#4
gunssb Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: socal Posts: 1,833	No worries - its funny I actually was at a Bastille day celebration (which is their version of I-day) while in France. There were old vets who could hardly walk but were pretty proud to be there. But they were giving out medals to the younger guys - for what, I had no clue Some guy was telling me in modern textbooks they tell the story as de Gaulle & the resistance liberated France

11-12-2005, 11:55 PM	#5
WetKnife Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 239	Gentlemen , Gentlemen , the French are lost and need our help to find their Balls and the Mojo back . Remember they helped us break away from England and Napoleon taught the world about mobile warfare . As I see it the French has not had a Government worth a !!!! since WW I . Holy !!!! I just had a brainstorm ! Maybe to get France back into the fold we need someone to invade them and degregate them like the Germans did in WWII. Their resistances forces were very effective and the Germans had their hands busy. On the other hand screw the French , ignore them long enough and maybe they will go away.

11-13-2005, 01:50 AM	#6
Johan Malan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Saskatchewan Canada Posts: 302	Screw the French I say, about 300 years ago they threw my family out of France because they were Protestant!!

11-13-2005, 02:15 PM	#9
Johan Malan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Saskatchewan Canada Posts: 302	!!!! I'm no kiwi!! They are our Biggest Rivals when it comes to sport!! I'm a South African by birth. (No I'm not black)

11-13-2005, 07:31 PM	#11
Johan Malan Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Saskatchewan Canada Posts: 302	Arn't all French Woman Whores? Now Why would they kick the prostitutes out? France would have seen a big population decline.