12-14-2005, 07:37 PM
| #1 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Maryland
Posts: 932
| A few facts about Chuck Norris. : Facts About Chuck Norris.  Facts About Chuck Norris: 1. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. 2. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. 4. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. 5. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. 6. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. 7. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. 8. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. 9. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away. 10. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. 11. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris. 12. In the early 1980s, Chuck Norris took a ragtag team of lovable losers and turned them into the state football champions. During their victory celebrations, he walked up to the star quarterback and snapped his neck to teach the rest of the team a valuable lesson about the mortality of man. |
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12-14-2005, 07:55 PM
| #2 |
| Resident Armed Liberal   Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Southern California
Posts: 8,160
| 4. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.(?) Well, I'd say the Devil only came thru on half that one anyway; he apparently just gave Chuck the "rugged" part of the deal on his looks. I was a set carpenter on Norris' film, "Good Guys Wear Black." Had fun watching them blow up the stuff we built, but I've never actually watched the movie. |
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12-14-2005, 08:33 PM
| #3 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 344
| Chuck Norris is just a little guy. ? Whats with all the stuff on Norris Lately? Just I seen it three times before this....and I dint get it the first time anyway? |
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12-15-2005, 08:00 AM
| #4 |
| Guest
Posts: n/a
|  but I've got a black belt in "Gun Fu" :gangster: |
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12-15-2005, 01:36 PM
| #5 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Emerald CQLD AUST
Posts: 977
| He He, I've got a black belt in Fa-kyu 
__________________ OzHunter Give me a six-pack and a red dirt open road (Adam Brand) |
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12-15-2005, 02:51 PM
| #6 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,125
| Chuck Norris was the 4th wiseman in the Christmas story, he gave Jesus the gift of 'Beard'.
__________________ Sic Vis Pacem Parabellum |
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12-15-2005, 02:58 PM
| #7 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 10,750
| Wife always turns over Walker Texas Ranger to watch her CSI re  runs
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