Recent Quips From Late Night

Chris · 07-31-2006, 11:30 PM

"Today is tax day. Which is a nice change of pace. We can skip one day of getting screwed at the gas pump to get screwed by the IRS." --Jay Leno

"The White House annual Easter egg hunt is this weekend. The kids, this year, have some extra help because President Bush came out on the lawn and leaked the location of the eggs." --David Letterman

"That shows the difference between administrations - Bush can't control his generals; where as Clinton could never control his privates." --Jay Leno

"Trouble at my house this weekend. Mom got liquored up and started reading from the gospel of Judas." --David Letterman

"A French woman is attempting to become the first person ever to windsurf across the Indian Ocean. It will be the first stunt like this since 2004 when John Kerry windsurfed his way out of the presidency" --Amy Poehler

"Former President Clinton was giving a speech in Washington, D.C. and someone in the crowd yelled out, 'We miss you.' I should mention that Clinton was giving the speech in the champagne room at Crazy Girls." --Conan O'Brien

"It's tax time and President Bush is saving a lot on taxes this year. He's writing off his entire second term." --David Letterman

"They say there are something like 12 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, with another half a million coming every year. Remember in the last election when the Democrats claimed there was two Americas? Turns out one of them was Mexico." --Jay Leno

Oxford · 08-01-2006, 09:09 AM

Seldom do I watch Leno. Used to but now if I watch a late show it's usually the Letterman show. Leno may be the best jokester of all.

.22guy · 08-02-2006, 01:14 PM

I can't stay up that late anymore. I guess I'm getting old....

07-31-2006, 11:30 PM	#1
Chris HMFIC Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: North Carolina Posts: 3,834,165 Images: 19 Blog Entries: 18	Recent Quips From Late Night "Today is tax day. Which is a nice change of pace. We can skip one day of getting screwed at the gas pump to get screwed by the IRS." --Jay Leno "The White House annual Easter egg hunt is this weekend. The kids, this year, have some extra help because President Bush came out on the lawn and leaked the location of the eggs." --David Letterman "That shows the difference between administrations - Bush can't control his generals; where as Clinton could never control his privates." --Jay Leno "Trouble at my house this weekend. Mom got liquored up and started reading from the gospel of Judas." --David Letterman "A French woman is attempting to become the first person ever to windsurf across the Indian Ocean. It will be the first stunt like this since 2004 when John Kerry windsurfed his way out of the presidency" --Amy Poehler "Former President Clinton was giving a speech in Washington, D.C. and someone in the crowd yelled out, 'We miss you.' I should mention that Clinton was giving the speech in the champagne room at Crazy Girls." --Conan O'Brien "It's tax time and President Bush is saving a lot on taxes this year. He's writing off his entire second term." --David Letterman "They say there are something like 12 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, with another half a million coming every year. Remember in the last election when the Democrats claimed there was two Americas? Turns out one of them was Mexico." --Jay Leno __________________ Rules \| Contributing Members No one has the right to deny my personal safety Please be descriptive in your thread titles!

08-01-2006, 09:09 AM	#2
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,022 Blog Entries: 4	Seldom do I watch Leno. Used to but now if I watch a late show it's usually the Letterman show. Leno may be the best jokester of all. __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

08-02-2006, 01:14 PM	#3
.22guy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 4,140	I can't stay up that late anymore. I guess I'm getting old....