Dad

Oxford · 11-06-2006, 04:47 PM

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the
bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw
an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was
addressed, "Dad."

With the worst premonition, and trembling hands, he opened the
letter and read:

"Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had
to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice,
but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her
piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she
is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy says
that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened
my eyes to the fact that marijuana does not really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other
people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for
AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to
know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your son KYLE

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life
than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you!

Call when it's safe for me to come home.

bigandrich44 · 11-06-2006, 04:59 PM

Lol I was like OMG......................... that kid hooked up with a prostitute. LOL.

MosinDave · 11-06-2006, 09:02 PM

I was wondering where this was going at first. Good one Ox!

.22guy · 11-06-2006, 09:34 PM

Good one Ox. We could all use a reminder that things could be worse from time to time.

troy2000 · 11-06-2006, 09:53 PM

I'm going to kill my kid for his report card anyway...

Full MeTal Jack · 11-06-2006, 10:34 PM

keep em commin!

Despoiler · 11-06-2006, 10:50 PM

That was great. I think that the next time I have to give my wife some bad news I'll try this letter.

Rookie_Rover · 11-07-2006, 02:06 AM

AllenT, be careful with using it for the wife. When she reads the part about running off with a woman, your key might not fit the doorlocks when you get back!!!!!!!

Apollyon67 · 11-07-2006, 09:09 PM

Yeah Allen T, some women can only read so much bad news... keep it short. LOL Good Job Ox, one for you on the good side. You got alot of making up to do though.

Oxford · 11-07-2006, 09:16 PM

AP...if I'd known you were keeping score, I would have posted more X rated posts...the kind you really like. But...Chris wouldn't allow me that much slack...before he would fire me.

11-06-2006, 04:47 PM	#1
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 14,293 Blog Entries: 4	Dad A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, and trembling hands, he opened the letter and read: "Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy says that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana does not really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry, Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren. Love, Your son KYLE P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it's safe for me to come home. __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

11-06-2006, 10:34 PM	#6
Full MeTal Jack Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Southeast Texas Posts: 1,936	keep em commin! __________________ Guns and cameras don't mix

11-07-2006, 02:06 AM	#8
Rookie_Rover Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: South Western Tennessee. Posts: 297	AllenT, be careful with using it for the wife. When she reads the part about running off with a woman, your key might not fit the doorlocks when you get back!!!!!!! __________________ Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself – Twain.

11-07-2006, 09:09 PM	#9
Apollyon67 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern Maryland Posts: 2,243	Yeah Allen T, some women can only read so much bad news... keep it short. LOL Good Job Ox, one for you on the good side. You got alot of making up to do though. __________________ "To err is human, to repent divine; to persist devilish." Ben Franklin

11-07-2006, 09:16 PM	#10
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 14,293 Blog Entries: 4	AP...if I'd known you were keeping score, I would have posted more X rated posts...the kind you really like. But...Chris wouldn't allow me that much slack...before he would fire me. __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

11-06-2006, 04:59 PM	#2
bigandrich44 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,034	Lol I was like OMG......................... that kid hooked up with a prostitute. LOL.

11-06-2006, 09:02 PM	#3
MosinDave Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Georgia Posts: 570	I was wondering where this was going at first. Good one Ox!

11-06-2006, 09:34 PM	#4
.22guy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 5,432	Good one Ox. We could all use a reminder that things could be worse from time to time.

11-06-2006, 09:53 PM	#5
troy2000 Banned Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Southern California Posts: 14,553	I'm going to kill my kid for his report card anyway...

11-06-2006, 10:50 PM	#7
Despoiler Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: The Occupied Territory of California Posts: 2,303	That was great. I think that the next time I have to give my wife some bad news I'll try this letter.