School Special

Oxford · 01-06-2007, 01:23 PM

In response to President Bush's Federal "No Child Left
Behind Act" NCLB), it is proposed that students will
have to pass a test to be promoted to the next grade level.

In the hope that this proposal will be uniformly adopted
by all of the states as well as North Carolina, the new
test will be called the Federal Arithmetic and Reading
Test, or FART.

All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade
will be re-tested in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are
capable of passing a FART score of 80%. If a student
does not successfully FART by grade 5, that student
shall be placed in a separate English program known
as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language,
or SMELL .

If, with this increased SMELL program, the student
cannot pass the required FART test, he or she can
still graduate to middle school by taking another
one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and
Arithmetic Preparation, or CRAP.

If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL,
or CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive
one-week seminar known as the Preparatory Reading for
Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students, or PRUNES.

It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for
Public Schools (DIPS) that an intensive week of PRUNES
will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP. . . .

This revised provision of the student component of the
House Bill 101 should help "clear the air" as part
of the "No School Left Standing" Act.

.22guy · 01-06-2007, 01:47 PM

Nice! As a teacher I love this stuff. Have you ever seen the "football version" of No Child Left Behind?

woodster · 01-06-2007, 02:49 PM

Speaking of FARTS... I wonder if Hillary knows about this test?

01-06-2007, 01:23 PM	#1
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 12,948 Trader Rating: (0)	School Special In response to President Bush's Federal "No Child Left Behind Act" NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next grade level. In the hope that this proposal will be uniformly adopted by all of the states as well as North Carolina, the new test will be called the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test, or FART. All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be re-tested in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing a FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English program known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language, or SMELL . If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass the required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by taking another one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation, or CRAP. If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students, or PRUNES. It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public Schools (DIPS) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP. . . . This revised provision of the student component of the House Bill 101 should help "clear the air" as part of the "No School Left Standing" Act. __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

01-06-2007, 01:47 PM	#2
.22guy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 4,057 Trader Rating: (0)	Nice! As a teacher I love this stuff. Have you ever seen the "football version" of No Child Left Behind?

01-06-2007, 02:49 PM	#3
woodster Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: High Desert, California Posts: 431 Trader Rating: (0)	Speaking of FARTS... I wonder if Hillary knows about this test?