Presidential Ice Fishing

Mooseman684 · 01-09-2007, 09:37 PM

Ice Fishing
Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice-fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things. The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote and frozen lake in Minnesota. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification! At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the starting line and he has 10 fish. Soon, Kerry returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.
At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes in with 20 fish and Kerry comes in again with none. That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Kerry and says, "I think George W. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.
The next night (after George W. comes back with 50 fish), Clinton says to Kerry, "Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin'?"

"He sure is, Bill, he's cutting holes in the ice.

troy2000 · 01-10-2007, 06:44 PM

Reminds me of the way Cochise became Chief of the Chiricahua Apaches. His biggest rival after Mangus Coloradus died was a sub-chief of the Bedonkohe band, named Falling Rocks. He had a large number of followers, who weren't willing to accept Cochise.

Finally the two men came to an agreement; they'd go into the mountains, and each would kill a bear with only a knife. The one who brought back the biggest bearskin would be accepted as leader of both factions.

About a week later, Cochise staggered out of the hills, tired and bloody, but carrying a large bearskin. The tribes waited and waited, but Falling Rocks never came back, so Cochise became their leader.

But the Bedonkohe never really accepted defeat, and their beliefs grew into a legend that someday their leader would come down from the hills carrying the huge white skin of the Ghost Bear and assume his rightful place as head of the Chiricahua Apaches, leading them into a glorious new era. And to this day, as you drive through the hills and mountains of Arizona you'll see signs asking you to watch for Falling Rocks...

Apollyon67 · 01-10-2007, 10:11 PM

Nice one Mooseman. Troy? Well, you seem to be hanging around Ox a bit too much.

.22guy · 01-10-2007, 11:57 PM

Had me going there for a minute, Troy.

01-09-2007, 09:37 PM	#1
Mooseman684 Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Alaska Wilderness Posts: 10,524 Images: 2	Presidential Ice Fishing Ice Fishing Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election. Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice-fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things. The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote and frozen lake in Minnesota. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification! At the end of the first day, George W. returns to the starting line and he has 10 fish. Soon, Kerry returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day. At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes in with 20 fish and Kerry comes in again with none. That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Kerry and says, "I think George W. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way. The next night (after George W. comes back with 50 fish), Clinton says to Kerry, "Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin'?" "He sure is, Bill, he's cutting holes in the ice. __________________ You know you might be facing your doom,when all you get is a click when you're expecting a BOOM!

01-10-2007, 06:44 PM	#2
troy2000 Resident Armed Liberal Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Southern California Posts: 10,017 Images: 9	Reminds me of the way Cochise became Chief of the Chiricahua Apaches. His biggest rival after Mangus Coloradus died was a sub-chief of the Bedonkohe band, named Falling Rocks. He had a large number of followers, who weren't willing to accept Cochise. Finally the two men came to an agreement; they'd go into the mountains, and each would kill a bear with only a knife. The one who brought back the biggest bearskin would be accepted as leader of both factions. About a week later, Cochise staggered out of the hills, tired and bloody, but carrying a large bearskin. The tribes waited and waited, but Falling Rocks never came back, so Cochise became their leader. But the Bedonkohe never really accepted defeat, and their beliefs grew into a legend that someday their leader would come down from the hills carrying the huge white skin of the Ghost Bear and assume his rightful place as head of the Chiricahua Apaches, leading them into a glorious new era. And to this day, as you drive through the hills and mountains of Arizona you'll see signs asking you to watch for Falling Rocks... __________________ I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting you really believe what you just said. WF Buckley, Jr Last edited by troy2000; 01-11-2007 at 12:09 AM.

01-10-2007, 10:11 PM	#3
Apollyon67 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Southern Maryland Posts: 2,238 Images: 17	Nice one Mooseman. Troy? Well, you seem to be hanging around Ox a bit too much. __________________ "To err is human, to repent divine; to persist devilish." Ben Franklin

01-10-2007, 11:57 PM	#4
.22guy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 4,254	Had me going there for a minute, Troy.