!!!! explained by a chemistry student

Oxford · 01-30-2007, 09:01 AM

The following is an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student
was so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet.

Bonus Question: Is h ell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it
Is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of !!!! is changing
in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are
moving into !!!! and the rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to !!!!, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering !!!!, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world
today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a
member of their religion you will go to !!!!. Since there
is more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all souls go to !!!!. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in !!!!
to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
!!!! because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
temperature and pressure in !!!! to stay the same,
the volume of !!!! has to expand proportionately as
souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If !!!! is expanding at a slower rate than the rate
at which souls enter !!!!, then the temperature and
pressure in !!!! will increase until all !!!! breaks
loose.

2. If !!!! is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in !!!!, then the temperature and
pressure will drop until !!!! freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day
in !!!! before I sleep with you," and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that
!!!! is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since !!!! has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is therefore, extinct....leaving only
Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

Calvin · 01-30-2007, 12:12 PM

That one's off the charts!

woodster · 01-30-2007, 02:34 PM

That's super. I'll have to make a copy of this one.

tbonecpk · 01-30-2007, 03:06 PM

that is awsome lol

01-30-2007, 09:01 AM	#1
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 12,987 Trader Rating: (0)	!!!! explained by a chemistry student The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet. Bonus Question: Is h ell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it Is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of !!!! is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into !!!! and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to !!!!, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering !!!!, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion you will go to !!!!. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to !!!!. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in !!!! to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in !!!! because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in !!!! to stay the same, the volume of !!!! has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If !!!! is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter !!!!, then the temperature and pressure in !!!! will increase until all !!!! breaks loose. 2. If !!!! is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in !!!!, then the temperature and pressure will drop until !!!! freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in !!!! before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that !!!! is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since !!!! has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A". __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

01-30-2007, 03:06 PM	#4
tbonecpk Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: San Diego Cal Posts: 1,584 Trader Rating: (0)	that is awsome lol __________________ "Speak softly but carry a big stick" -Teddy Roosevelt

01-30-2007, 12:12 PM	#2
Calvin Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Columbus, Ohio Posts: 1,991 Trader Rating: (0)	That one's off the charts!

01-30-2007, 02:34 PM	#3
woodster Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: High Desert, California Posts: 432 Trader Rating: (0)	That's super. I'll have to make a copy of this one.