Here's a couple of jokes.

nighthawk80 · 07-10-2007, 12:06 PM

Stole a couple of jokes from another forum. (I'll bring them back later

)

1) Grandma and Grandpa were driving from Washington to Florida to attend their granddaughter's graduation from medical school. Halfway through their trip, they stopped to visit one of their son's in Kansas for a night.

Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in the medicine cabinet. He asked his son about using one of the pills. The son said " I don't think you should take one Dad. They are very strong and very expensive."

"How much" asked Grandpa.

"Around $10.00 a pill," answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one. We'll be leaving early in the morning, so I'll put the money under the pillow.

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He immediately called Grandpa on his cell phone and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.

"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma.

2) An old guy’s car collides with a young guy’s car and both are demolished. The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was hurt in the accident.

The old guy says, "Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days."

"Sure," says the young guy, convinced the old man’s crazy.

"And look at this!" says the old guy, reaching back into his car. "A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune."

Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. "Aren’t you having any?" asks the young guy.

"No, thanks," replies the old guy. "I’ll wait for the police."

3)5 shots of Jack

A guy walks into a bar and quickly says to the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"

The bartender looks at him and says, "**** buddy, are you having a bad day?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my brother is gay!"

The bartender, feeling bad for the guy, says, "****, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me."

The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. A week later the same guy comes into the same bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!"

The bartender looks at him and says, "**** buddy, are you having another bad day?"

The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my other brother is gay too!"

The bartender says, "****, that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me again."

The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. The next week the same guy walks into the same bar and says, "Bartender, give me 10 shots of Jack!"

The bartender looks at him confused and says, "**** buddy, doesn't anyone in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife!"

Oxford · 07-10-2007, 12:18 PM

Hey...you scored a trifectia with those jokes. All funny and make me laugh...and I needed that today.

ArkansasHunter · 07-10-2007, 12:39 PM

I like the first one best but they were all funny lol...A.H

just_a_car · 07-10-2007, 01:48 PM

All winners in my book!

TexasT · 07-10-2007, 02:36 PM

I like the second one, but the one about the grandparents....and the....and...idk...

.22guy · 07-10-2007, 03:27 PM

I liked 1 and 3.

cubbieman · 07-10-2007, 06:03 PM

all were good 2nd was kinda old though

billy · 07-10-2007, 06:30 PM

i liked 2 the best but all worked for me. thanks jokeman!

i give them 1 dancing banana

07-10-2007, 12:06 PM	#1
nighthawk80 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Just south of Central Indiana Posts: 403	Here's a couple of jokes. Stole a couple of jokes from another forum. (I'll bring them back later) 1) Grandma and Grandpa were driving from Washington to Florida to attend their granddaughter's graduation from medical school. Halfway through their trip, they stopped to visit one of their son's in Kansas for a night. Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in the medicine cabinet. He asked his son about using one of the pills. The son said " I don't think you should take one Dad. They are very strong and very expensive." "How much" asked Grandpa. "Around $10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one. We'll be leaving early in the morning, so I'll put the money under the pillow. Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He immediately called Grandpa on his cell phone and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma. 2) An old guy’s car collides with a young guy’s car and both are demolished. The two crawl out of the wreckage, amazed that neither of them was hurt in the accident. The old guy says, "Look at this miracle! This must surely be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live our lives in peace for the rest of our days." "Sure," says the young guy, convinced the old man’s crazy. "And look at this!" says the old guy, reaching back into his car. "A miracle! My car is demolished, but this bottle of 12-year-old Scotch didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink and celebrate our good fortune." Again the young guy agrees, so the old guy opens the bottle and passes it to him. The young guy smiles and takes several huge swigs, then tries to hand it to the old guy, who, to his surprise, refuses. "Aren’t you having any?" asks the young guy. "No, thanks," replies the old guy. "I’ll wait for the police." 3)5 shots of Jack A guy walks into a bar and quickly says to the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!" The bartender looks at him and says, "** buddy, are you having a bad day?" The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my brother is gay!" The bartender, feeling bad for the guy, says, ", that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me." The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. A week later the same guy comes into the same bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 5 shots of Jack!" The bartender looks at him and says, " buddy, are you having another bad day?" The guy replies, "Yeah, I just found out my other brother is gay too!" The bartender says, ", that is a bad day. I'll tell you what. The first shot is on me again." The guy thanks him, takes his shots, and leaves. The next week the same guy walks into the same bar and says, "Bartender, give me 10 shots of Jack!" The bartender looks at him confused and says, "** buddy, doesn't anyone in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife!"

07-10-2007, 12:18 PM	#2
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,023 Blog Entries: 4	Hey...you scored a trifectia with those jokes. All funny and make me laugh...and I needed that today. __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

07-10-2007, 01:48 PM	#4
just_a_car Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Edmonds, WA Posts: 3,521	All winners in my book! __________________

07-10-2007, 02:36 PM	#5
TexasT Do you have my stapler? Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Everywhere you want to be. Posts: 4,206 Blog Entries: 16	I like the second one, but the one about the grandparents....and the....and...idk... __________________ I'm just a little bit caught in the middle. Life is a maze. Love is a riddle.

07-10-2007, 06:30 PM	#8
billy spiritual counselor Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: a secret lab on the shores of lake titicaca Posts: 12,139 Images: 9 Blog Entries: 146	i liked 2 the best but all worked for me. thanks jokeman! i give them 1 dancing banana __________________

07-10-2007, 12:39 PM	#3
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,694	I like the first one best but they were all funny lol...A.H

07-10-2007, 03:27 PM	#6
.22guy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 4,157	I liked 1 and 3.

07-10-2007, 06:03 PM	#7
cubbieman Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Alaska Posts: 1,481	all were good 2nd was kinda old though