a letter to the kids

tommy · 07-31-2007, 10:01 AM

Dearest Redneck Daughter,
>
> I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live
> where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most
> accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able
> to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived
> here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change
> their address.
>
> This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not to sure
> about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen
> them since.
>
> The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time
> for three days and the second time for four days.
>
> About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be
> too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and
> put them in the pockets.
>
> Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried and hot
> because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
>
> Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet
> so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your
> brother.
>
> Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull
> him out but he fought them off and drowned.
>
> We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
>
> Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was
> driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
> friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the
> tailgate down.
>
> There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has
> happened.
>
> Your Favorite Aunt, Mom

bigandrich44 · 07-31-2007, 10:58 AM

lol................

Dallas · 07-31-2007, 11:25 AM

That is just so wrong on so many levels. But funny as heck. Sounds like my ex-wife's family.

ArkansasHunter · 07-31-2007, 11:37 AM

Typical So. Arkansas way of life.

thugnation213 · 08-07-2007, 02:49 PM

Just too funny!

SilverRun · 08-07-2007, 03:25 PM

I didn't get it? what was funny?

07-31-2007, 10:01 AM	#1
tommy Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: schriever la Posts: 4,014 Images: 6	a letter to the kids Dearest Redneck Daughter, > > I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live > where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most > accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able > to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived > here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change > their address. > > This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not to sure > about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen > them since. > > The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time > for three days and the second time for four days. > > About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be > too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and > put them in the pockets. > > Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried and hot > because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. > > Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet > so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your > brother. > > Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull > him out but he fought them off and drowned. > > We had him cremated, he burned for three days. > > Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was > driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two > friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the > tailgate down. > > There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has > happened. > > Your Favorite Aunt, Mom

07-31-2007, 10:58 AM	#2
bigandrich44 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 1,013	lol................ __________________ http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/1...eehobosig9.png

07-31-2007, 11:25 AM	#3
Dallas PUKHA DAWG Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Virginia, just outside of Washington D.C. Posts: 3,595	That is just so wrong on so many levels. But funny as heck. Sounds like my ex-wife's family. __________________ Those who forget History are condemed to repeat it.

07-31-2007, 11:37 AM	#4
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,678	Typical So. Arkansas way of life.

08-07-2007, 02:49 PM	#5
thugnation213 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 3	Just too funny!

08-07-2007, 03:25 PM	#6
SilverRun Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: AL Posts: 1,661	I didn't get it? what was funny?