08-03-2007, 09:27 PM
| #1 |
| Resident Armed Liberal   | Cool things about being a man Yes, it's good to be a man...... 1. Your *** is never a factor in a job interview. 2. Your orgasms are real. Always. 3. Your last name stays put. 4. The garage is all yours. 5. Wedding plans take care of themselves. 6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. 7. Car mechanics tell you the truth. 8. You don't give a rat's *** if someone notices your new haircut. 9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area. 10. Same work .. more pay. 11. Wrinkles-add character. 12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. 13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 14. If you retain water, it's in a canteen. 15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them. 16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 17. One mood, ALL the **** time. 18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. 19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. 20. You can open all your own jars. 21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack. 23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. 24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat. 25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me." 27. No maxi-pads. 28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. 29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. 30. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes. 32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 33. Your belly usually hides your big hips. 34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. 35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife. 36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes. 37. The world is your urinal. TEN THINGS MEN KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT WOMEN. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. They have breasts.
__________________ If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. -Anatole France Last edited by troy2000; 08-03-2007 at 09:31 PM. |
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08-03-2007, 11:04 PM
| #4 | |
| Resident Armed Liberal | Quote:
And of course, if there were no women it would take a lot of the fun out of being a man...  You heard about Adam and Eve kickin' it in the Garden one afternoon and God shows up with a bag? They ask him what's in it, and he says, "oh, just some odds and ends left over from Creation; I thought I'd see if you two wanted any of this stuff before I throw it out." He reaches in, and the first thing he pulls out is the ability to pee standing up. Adam goes, "ooh, ooh, me! I want that! Can I have it? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...." God looks at Eve and raises an eyebrow, and she shrugs, "if it makes him happy, let him have it. I don't mind." So God gives it to Adam, and he starts running around marking trees with the dog, and writing his name in the sand and that sort of thing, and eventually he goes running off to invent beer so he can do it even more. God and Eve watch him for a while, and then God reaches into the bag again. "Now, let's see. What else did I have in here? Oh, yeah: multiple orgasms..."
__________________ If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. -Anatole France Last edited by troy2000; 08-03-2007 at 11:25 PM. | |
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08-05-2007, 09:11 PM
| #7 | |
| Senior Member  | Quote:
__________________ Spocrest Out!.......... | |
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08-05-2007, 10:11 PM
| #9 | |
| Senior Member  | Quote:
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08-06-2007, 10:09 PM
| #11 | |
| Senior Member  | Quote:
The reason God gave women breasts is so that men would pay attention to them when they talked. 
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08-07-2007, 10:29 PM
| #12 | |
| Resident Armed Liberal | Quote:
__________________ If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. -Anatole France | |
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