Hillbilly Rocket Science

ArkansasHunter · 01-10-2008, 10:06 AM

Hillbilly Rocket Science

You know you're a Hillbilly when:

"He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."

There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin"or off to "Wally World.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor

What Hillbillies do:

If you forget a Hillbilly's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba" (or "Junior"). You have a 75% chance of being right.

If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.

Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

How to spot a true Hillbilly:

Only a true Hillbilly knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.

Only a true Hillbilly knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

Only a true Hillbilly can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only true Hillbillies grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a true Hillbilly both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Hillbilly would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

HUNTING

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. 'Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something, but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground.'

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, 'You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!'

The other added 'Yeah, but we're getting farther and farther away from the truck!'

I can't leave you without a blonde joke:

Did you hear about the blonde who needed gas money?

She sold her car for it.

Seabeescotty · 01-10-2008, 10:15 AM

OMG A.H., I might be a redneck, and I'm 'bout to pitch one, or the other! Scotty

OOps, I meant "hillbilly"!

two-70 · 01-10-2008, 11:31 AM

lol

andrew cochran · 01-10-2008, 12:22 PM

Hey, my signiture says i'm a hillbilly. I like that!

neophyte · 01-10-2008, 12:26 PM

AH: Sir; I just cant take it

LLmAO

Windwalker · 01-10-2008, 01:17 PM

great work. Laughing so hard my eyes are watering.

Big Dog · 01-11-2008, 11:15 AM

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World".

Down here we call it "Wal-crawlin' ", kinda like "Mall-crawlin' ".

ArkansasHunter · 01-11-2008, 11:33 AM

Thats interesting Big Dog what we call our Wal Marts.
We have a Super size Wal Mart and we sometimes call it Wal Mart City.
A.H

Seabeescotty · 01-11-2008, 01:34 PM

It's the excitin' day of our month, when we get into the big city(2800) and get to eyeball all the stuff they got there! Me, I like the place where they keep all the outdoor items, but my wife likes to go up and down All the lanes, and some of 'em twice in case she missed something. Scotty

Johnny_Revolver · 01-11-2008, 01:55 PM

Quote: A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor

This one bugs me...

So does ` drug `

" me`n Bubbba drug it back up to the road "

I say this cause I have a very good friend in Georgia, and he says these things.

Big Dog · 01-11-2008, 08:34 PM

In proper Redneckese, it's "We done drug it back . . . "

SuckLead · 01-11-2008, 10:52 PM

I used to hear, "You ain't from around here, are you?" all the time. Now, oddly, other people say it to me as, "He ain't from around here" about others like I AM from around here. LOL!

ArkansasHunter · 01-11-2008, 10:58 PM

Yep Big Dog rednecks say we done drug it LOL Hillbillys say Weed done totted it over yonder !!!...A.H

01-10-2008, 10:06 AM	#1
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Hillbilly Rocket Science Hillbilly Rocket Science You know you're a Hillbilly when: "He needed killin' " is a valid defense. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm." There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin"or off to "Wally World. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor What Hillbillies do: If you forget a Hillbilly's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba" (or "Junior"). You have a 75% chance of being right. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?" How to spot a true Hillbilly: Only a true Hillbilly knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them. Only a true Hillbilly knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess." Only a true Hillbilly can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." Only true Hillbillies grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20. Only a true Hillbilly both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. No true Hillbilly would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. HUNTING Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. 'Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something, but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground.' After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, 'You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!' The other added 'Yeah, but we're getting farther and farther away from the truck!' I can't leave you without a blonde joke: Did you hear about the blonde who needed gas money? She sold her car for it.

01-10-2008, 10:15 AM	#2
Seabeescotty The ol' Coot Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jay, Oklahoma, God's country. Posts: 4,567 Images: 18 Blog Entries: 1	OMG A.H., I might be a redneck, and I'm 'bout to pitch one, or the other! Scotty OOps, I meant "hillbilly"! __________________ Adapt, improvise, overcome.-Gysgt Highway, Heartbreak Ridge Last edited by Seabeescotty; 01-10-2008 at 10:18 AM.

01-10-2008, 11:31 AM	#3
two-70 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: ponca city, oklahoma Posts: 1,783	lol __________________ What Would Jesus Do ????? Just Ask Him.

01-10-2008, 12:22 PM	#4
andrew cochran Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Little town in ARKANSAW! Posts: 2,320	Hey, my signiture says i'm a hillbilly. I like that! __________________ If you don't have anything good to say... Don't say it!

01-10-2008, 12:26 PM	#5
neophyte Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 4,347 Blog Entries: 2	AH: Sir; I just cant take it LLmAO __________________ Craig May the Lord's face radiate with joy because of you. Numbers 6:24

01-10-2008, 01:17 PM	#6
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	great work. Laughing so hard my eyes are watering.

01-11-2008, 11:15 AM	#7
Big Dog Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tallahassee, Florida Posts: 10,412	Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World". Down here we call it "Wal-crawlin' ", kinda like "Mall-crawlin' ". __________________ Moderator of: AR15/M16, M14/M1A, New/Beginning Shooters and Militaria/Collectables.

01-11-2008, 11:33 AM	#8
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Thats interesting Big Dog what we call our Wal Marts. We have a Super size Wal Mart and we sometimes call it Wal Mart City. A.H

01-11-2008, 01:34 PM	#9
Seabeescotty The ol' Coot Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jay, Oklahoma, God's country. Posts: 4,567 Images: 18 Blog Entries: 1	It's the excitin' day of our month, when we get into the big city(2800) and get to eyeball all the stuff they got there! Me, I like the place where they keep all the outdoor items, but my wife likes to go up and down All the lanes, and some of 'em twice in case she missed something. Scotty __________________ Adapt, improvise, overcome.-Gysgt Highway, Heartbreak Ridge

01-11-2008, 01:55 PM	#10
Johnny_Revolver Gun Liker Join Date: May 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 1,222 Blog Entries: 6	Quote: A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor This one bugs me... So does ` drug ` " me`n Bubbba drug it back up to the road " I say this cause I have a very good friend in Georgia, and he says these things. __________________ It`s a good life, provided you don`t weaken.

01-11-2008, 08:34 PM	#11
Big Dog Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tallahassee, Florida Posts: 10,412	In proper Redneckese, it's "We done drug it back . . . " __________________ Moderator of: AR15/M16, M14/M1A, New/Beginning Shooters and Militaria/Collectables.

01-11-2008, 10:52 PM	#12
SuckLead Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: USA Posts: 656	I used to hear, "You ain't from around here, are you?" all the time. Now, oddly, other people say it to me as, "He ain't from around here" about others like I AM from around here. LOL! __________________ "Ruin a liberal's day; recite historical fact." - found on a bumper sticker

01-11-2008, 10:58 PM	#13
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Yep Big Dog rednecks say we done drug it LOL Hillbillys say Weed done totted it over yonder !!!...A.H