Be Careful What You Wish For

Cyrano · 01-18-2008, 05:11 PM

A surfer who was not too successful with women was walking alone on the beach one day and he spied what looked like a brass Middle Eastern lamp lying half-sunken in the sand. He picked it up and, smiling at his own whimsy, rubbed it.

To his great surprise a big blue genie with a passing resemblence to Robin Williams came boiling out of it. The genie looked down at him.

"Thank you for freeing me from that musty old lamp. For that, I will grant you a wish. You can't wish for more wishes, and you can't reanimate the dead, and I can't make anyone fall in love with you; but apart from that the field is wide open."

"All right," said the surfer, "I wish for a highway that runs from here at Long Beach to the Banzai Pipeline on Oahu in Hawaii, and as part of the same wish I want a 1939 Woody that never runs out of gas and never needs spare parts repairs of any kind and never breaks down, that can drive itself, to make the trip in whenever I want to."

The genie was appalled. "Man, do you know how hard that's going to be to make? The car's no biggie but the highway! Do you have any idea how high off the water it will have to be? How many billions of tons of concrete and steel it's going to take? And how far down I'm going to have to drive how many pilings? Pick something easier, will you?"

"Okay, said the surfer. "I want to know what makes women tick. I want to know how they think, and why they think the way they do. I want to know what attracts them to what kind of men, and what repels them. I want to know what it takes to make women fall instantly in love - and lust. I want to know how to make them fall in love and stay in love with me and treat me like a king and their dream man, forever."

And the genie said, "Boss, how many lanes did you say you wanted on that highway?"

knightRider · 01-18-2008, 05:46 PM

i posted that same joke except about god instead of a genie, but i like the different vareint.

.22guy · 01-18-2008, 06:06 PM

A classic and oh so true.

Cyrano · 01-18-2008, 07:30 PM

Well, personally, I think one of the best lines ever to come out of Star Trek (the original series) was from the episode "Elaan of Troius."

Captain Kirk had the dubious assignment of trying to civilize a barbarian princess, in order that she would marry a prince from another planet and thereby end an interplanetary war. At one point he is trying to teach her table manners, and she throws a knife at him. Kirk walks out on her, more than a little annoyed.

He encountered Mr. Spock in the passageway, who inquired how it was going.

Kirk replied, "Mr. Spock, on your planet the females are logical. No other planet in the galaxy can make that claim!"

01-18-2008, 05:11 PM	#1
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,993	Be Careful What You Wish For A surfer who was not too successful with women was walking alone on the beach one day and he spied what looked like a brass Middle Eastern lamp lying half-sunken in the sand. He picked it up and, smiling at his own whimsy, rubbed it. To his great surprise a big blue genie with a passing resemblence to Robin Williams came boiling out of it. The genie looked down at him. "Thank you for freeing me from that musty old lamp. For that, I will grant you a wish. You can't wish for more wishes, and you can't reanimate the dead, and I can't make anyone fall in love with you; but apart from that the field is wide open." "All right," said the surfer, "I wish for a highway that runs from here at Long Beach to the Banzai Pipeline on Oahu in Hawaii, and as part of the same wish I want a 1939 Woody that never runs out of gas and never needs spare parts repairs of any kind and never breaks down, that can drive itself, to make the trip in whenever I want to." The genie was appalled. "Man, do you know how hard that's going to be to make? The car's no biggie but the highway! Do you have any idea how high off the water it will have to be? How many billions of tons of concrete and steel it's going to take? And how far down I'm going to have to drive how many pilings? Pick something easier, will you?" "Okay, said the surfer. "I want to know what makes women tick. I want to know how they think, and why they think the way they do. I want to know what attracts them to what kind of men, and what repels them. I want to know what it takes to make women fall instantly in love - and lust. I want to know how to make them fall in love and stay in love with me and treat me like a king and their dream man, forever." And the genie said, "Boss, how many lanes did you say you wanted on that highway?"

01-18-2008, 05:46 PM	#2
knightRider Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: you know where Posts: 2,793 Images: 19 Blog Entries: 11	i posted that same joke except about god instead of a genie, but i like the different vareint. __________________ I'm part kalishnakov, part heckler and Koch.

01-18-2008, 06:06 PM	#3
.22guy Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 4,255	A classic and oh so true. __________________ My first priority will be to reinstate the assault weapons ban as soon as I take office.

01-18-2008, 07:30 PM	#4
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,993	Well, personally, I think one of the best lines ever to come out of Star Trek (the original series) was from the episode "Elaan of Troius." Captain Kirk had the dubious assignment of trying to civilize a barbarian princess, in order that she would marry a prince from another planet and thereby end an interplanetary war. At one point he is trying to teach her table manners, and she throws a knife at him. Kirk walks out on her, more than a little annoyed. He encountered Mr. Spock in the passageway, who inquired how it was going. Kirk replied, "Mr. Spock, on your planet the females are logical. No other planet in the galaxy can make that claim!"