A new element has been discovered

Cyrano · 01-21-2008, 04:31 PM

Recent hurricanes and climatic issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons & 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to be delayed any time from four days to fourteen years.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which some of the assistant neutrons & deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has only half as many peons but twice as many morons.

jmp8927 · 01-21-2008, 05:43 PM

LOL After studying Chemistry last year, I can TOTALLY appreciate this!

neophyte · 01-21-2008, 05:48 PM

Cyrano: outstanding; simply outstanding.

My chemistry lesson for the day

ArkansasHunter · 01-21-2008, 05:50 PM

Just a car will like this.

nathangdad · 01-21-2008, 06:57 PM

It also defies physics as, at the heaviest level of
the periodic table of the elements the massive elements are short lived. As you noted, this thing lives on and on and on and to my surprise, something that should be lost in half life - like the ex-presidentium sub-particle, can come back to contribute to the growth.

Hello to windwalker - it does not evolve into politicians.
Against the basic concepts of evolutionary theory, it devolves into politicians.

troy2000 · 01-21-2008, 08:25 PM

Fascinating stuff, gentlemen. I knew I should've stayed in college...

Windwalker · 01-21-2008, 09:20 PM

Sounds like at some point it evolves into politicians.

Cyrano · 01-22-2008, 10:40 PM

Doggone it, I think my C&R license application must have gotten contaminated with Governmentium somehow. I put it in around Thanksgiving, didn't hear back from BATFE until after New Year's, and they want to meet with me to explain how it works instead of simply mailing me the license and the books and letting me figure it out for myself! More than 2 months now and I STILL don't have the freakin' license! All the good stuff's getting away online!

Damn Governmentium.

meatloaf · 01-24-2008, 01:33 AM

That was great! SENT IT TO MY MOM SHE'E A SCHOOL TEACHER

Seabeescotty · 01-24-2008, 11:34 AM

Cyrano, that is now SOP with ATF. They came to my house earlier this month. But my FBI file must have been a good thing, because I received my dealer's license in record time! And T2K, I'm glad I left college early, as that stuff just gives me a headache, and makes CGO mad!LMAO

01-21-2008, 04:31 PM	#1
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,993	A new element has been discovered Recent hurricanes and climatic issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons & 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to be delayed any time from four days to fourteen years. Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which some of the assistant neutrons & deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has only half as many peons but twice as many morons.

01-21-2008, 05:43 PM	#2
jmp8927 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Walterboro, SC Posts: 1,211 Images: 17	LOL After studying Chemistry last year, I can TOTALLY appreciate this! __________________ Doing the unexpected makes the unexpected the expected and thus the expected becomes the unexpected.

01-21-2008, 05:48 PM	#3
neophyte Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 4,347 Blog Entries: 2	outstanding Cyrano: outstanding; simply outstanding. My chemistry lesson for the day __________________ Craig May the Lord's face radiate with joy because of you. Numbers 6:24

01-21-2008, 06:57 PM	#5
nathangdad Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 2,907	Ha-Ha and another observation It also defies physics as, at the heaviest level of the periodic table of the elements the massive elements are short lived. As you noted, this thing lives on and on and on and to my surprise, something that should be lost in half life - like the *ex-presidentium sub-particle, can come back to contribute to the growth. Hello to windwalker - it does not evolve into politicians. Against the basic concepts of evolutionary theory, it devolves* into politicians. Last edited by nathangdad; 01-21-2008 at 11:24 PM. Reason: addition

01-21-2008, 08:25 PM	#6
troy2000 Resident Armed Liberal Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Southern California Posts: 10,020 Images: 9	Fascinating stuff, gentlemen. I knew I should've stayed in college... __________________ I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting you really believe what you just said. WF Buckley, Jr

01-21-2008, 05:50 PM	#4
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Just a car will like this.

01-21-2008, 09:20 PM	#7
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	Sounds like at some point it evolves into politicians.

01-22-2008, 10:40 PM	#8
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,993	Doggone it, I think my C&R license application must have gotten contaminated with Governmentium somehow. I put it in around Thanksgiving, didn't hear back from BATFE until after New Year's, and they want to meet with me to explain how it works instead of simply mailing me the license and the books and letting me figure it out for myself! More than 2 months now and I STILL don't have the freakin' license! All the good stuff's getting away online! Damn Governmentium.

01-24-2008, 01:33 AM	#9
meatloaf Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: lakewood CO Posts: 956 Images: 3	That was great! SENT IT TO MY MOM SHE'E A SCHOOL TEACHER

01-24-2008, 11:34 AM	#10
Seabeescotty The ol' Coot Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jay, Oklahoma, God's country. Posts: 4,567 Images: 18 Blog Entries: 1	Cyrano, that is now SOP with ATF. They came to my house earlier this month. But my FBI file must have been a good thing, because I received my dealer's license in record time! And T2K, I'm glad I left college early, as that stuff just gives me a headache, and makes CGO mad!LMAO __________________ Adapt, improvise, overcome.-Gysgt Highway, Heartbreak Ridge