Top 16 LEO comments

nighthawk80 · 01-25-2008, 08:20 AM

These 16 were taken off actual police car videos around the country

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through. '

15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'

10. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in elephant poop.'

6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.........Sign here.' [Ouch!]
__________________

ArkansasHunter · 01-25-2008, 08:41 AM

Though this isn't like what you posted, my son who use to be a city police officer found it amuseing that so many women he stoped for speeding and running stop signs were in a hurry to get to church and many of the times it wasn't Sundays.

nighthawk80 · 01-25-2008, 12:29 PM

Ha ha. I wish we could all here some of the comments cops hear when they pull over someone. I know I tried to think of something good a time or two.(note: never worked for me!!!)

Seabeescotty · 01-25-2008, 12:59 PM

Heehee, they got to be real, 'cause they're too funny to be made up!!LOL!

mdj696 · 01-25-2008, 01:09 PM

Spent career as a Dekalb County Ga police officer. Caught a fella very minor speeding violation, hit the blues and he jumped to up to 80, 90, 100 mphs. Called another car to box him in and finally got him stopped. Came out of his car with license in hand going like a sewing machine. Asked him the problem for speeding, he said my wife ran off with a Dekalb County policeman two weeks ago and I thought you were him trying to bring her back.

You guys want to read an incredable book on cops, COPS by Mark Baker, easy to find a used copy on used books web sites. WELL worth reading.

Knowledge of ebonics and the south takes this story one step past hilarious. Went to runaway juvenile call one day, taking report on ladies couch when she commented out of the blue "Now I ain't worried hers getting pregnants cause she has her foam, I'm jus worried bout hers catchin one of them social diseases likes diarea. I swear to God I feel off her couch laughing.

woodster · 01-25-2008, 05:13 PM

Where's the fire!

SPOCAHP ANAR · 01-25-2008, 06:11 PM

My dad knew a cop once who told him he had stopped a guy for speeding and asked the driver if he could see his pilot's license.

The driver who was a pilot pulled it out and showed him.

The cop let him go.

mdj696 · 01-26-2008, 01:10 AM

That happened to me one night on I-85 just north of Atlanta. Asked for his drivers license, but he handed me his pilots license. I advised that interstate kinda looked like a runway but I still needed his drivers license. We both laughed and I cut him loose.

Found a guy one night with his hood up, car wouldn't crank up. I took out his air filter and told him to try it again, cranked right up. He got out shaking his head, telling me he was so embarresed, he sold air filters for a living.

01-25-2008, 08:20 AM	#1
nighthawk80 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Just south of Central Indiana Posts: 408	Top 16 LEO comments These 16 were taken off actual police car videos around the country 16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through. ' 15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.' 14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.' 13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.' 12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.' 11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?' 10. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?' 9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.' 8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?' 7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in elephant poop.' 6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.' 5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.' 4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?' 3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.' 2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.' AND THE WINNER IS.... 1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.........Sign here.' [Ouch!] __________________

01-25-2008, 12:59 PM	#4
Seabeescotty The ol' Coot Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jay, Oklahoma, God's country. Posts: 4,567 Images: 18 Blog Entries: 1	Heehee, they got to be real, 'cause they're too funny to be made up!!LOL! __________________ Adapt, improvise, overcome.-Gysgt Highway, Heartbreak Ridge

01-25-2008, 01:09 PM	#5
mdj696 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 297 Images: 1	Spent career as a Dekalb County Ga police officer. Caught a fella very minor speeding violation, hit the blues and he jumped to up to 80, 90, 100 mphs. Called another car to box him in and finally got him stopped. Came out of his car with license in hand going like a sewing machine. Asked him the problem for speeding, he said my wife ran off with a Dekalb County policeman two weeks ago and I thought you were him trying to bring her back. You guys want to read an incredable book on cops, COPS by Mark Baker, easy to find a used copy on used books web sites. WELL worth reading. Knowledge of ebonics and the south takes this story one step past hilarious. Went to runaway juvenile call one day, taking report on ladies couch when she commented out of the blue "Now I ain't worried hers getting pregnants cause she has her foam, I'm jus worried bout hers catchin one of them social diseases likes diarea. I swear to God I feel off her couch laughing. Last edited by mdj696; 01-25-2008 at 01:29 PM. Reason: additional info

01-25-2008, 06:11 PM	#7
SPOCAHP ANAR Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: SC-upstate Posts: 4,192 Images: 1 Blog Entries: 6	My dad knew a cop once who told him he had stopped a guy for speeding and asked the driver if he could see his pilot's license. The driver who was a pilot pulled it out and showed him. The cop let him go. __________________ Spocrest Out!..........

01-25-2008, 08:41 AM	#2
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Though this isn't like what you posted, my son who use to be a city police officer found it amuseing that so many women he stoped for speeding and running stop signs were in a hurry to get to church and many of the times it wasn't Sundays.

01-25-2008, 12:29 PM	#3
nighthawk80 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Just south of Central Indiana Posts: 408	Ha ha. I wish we could all here some of the comments cops hear when they pull over someone. I know I tried to think of something good a time or two.(note: never worked for me!!!)

01-25-2008, 05:13 PM	#6
woodster Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: High Desert, California Posts: 433	Where's the fire!

01-26-2008, 01:10 AM	#8
mdj696 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 297 Images: 1	That happened to me one night on I-85 just north of Atlanta. Asked for his drivers license, but he handed me his pilots license. I advised that interstate kinda looked like a runway but I still needed his drivers license. We both laughed and I cut him loose. Found a guy one night with his hood up, car wouldn't crank up. I took out his air filter and told him to try it again, cranked right up. He got out shaking his head, telling me he was so embarresed, he sold air filters for a living.