real answers

neophyte · 01-28-2008, 04:59 PM

The next time someone asks you a dumb question, wouldn't you like to respond like this?

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

No since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me

I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

two-70 · 01-28-2008, 08:48 PM

very very very good lmao

Windwalker · 01-28-2008, 09:10 PM

That was a great one.lol

Mooseman684 · 01-28-2008, 10:43 PM

You STOLE my joke...Posted last month !!!

Seabeescotty · 01-28-2008, 11:09 PM

I didn't have time to get the number!

neophyte · 01-29-2008, 06:32 AM

Mooseman: Sir; I would never plagiarize. My bad.
This was sent via e-mail.
I missed yours or the CRS has gotten worse.

CRS "can't remember sh$t"

01-28-2008, 04:59 PM	#1
neophyte Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 4,347 Blog Entries: 2	real answers The next time someone asks you a dumb question, wouldn't you like to respond like this? Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? No since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore. __________________ Craig May the Lord's face radiate with joy because of you. Numbers 6:24

01-28-2008, 08:48 PM	#2
two-70 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: ponca city, oklahoma Posts: 1,783	very very very good lmao __________________ What Would Jesus Do ????? Just Ask Him.

01-28-2008, 10:43 PM	#4
Mooseman684 Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Alaska Wilderness Posts: 10,529 Images: 2	You STOLE my joke...Posted last month !!! __________________ You know you might be facing your doom,when all you get is a click when you're expecting a BOOM!

01-28-2008, 11:09 PM	#5
Seabeescotty The ol' Coot Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jay, Oklahoma, God's country. Posts: 4,567 Images: 18 Blog Entries: 1	I didn't have time to get the number! __________________ Adapt, improvise, overcome.-Gysgt Highway, Heartbreak Ridge

01-29-2008, 06:32 AM	#6
neophyte Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 4,347 Blog Entries: 2	my not good Mooseman: Sir; I would never plagiarize. My bad. This was sent via e-mail. I missed yours or the CRS has gotten worse. CRS "can't remember sh$t" __________________ Craig May the Lord's face radiate with joy because of you. Numbers 6:24

01-28-2008, 09:10 PM	#3
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	That was a great one.lol