walmart funnies

billy · 02-12-2008, 10:28 PM

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her
husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she
loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from
her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 July 2 Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's on lay-away.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

Regards,
Wal-Mart

270wsm · 02-12-2008, 10:35 PM

Billy,
Those are freakin' hilarious!
My sides are hurtin' from laughin' so hard!

Shootester · 02-12-2008, 11:11 PM

LOL that is great!!!

fishnfool1991 · 02-12-2008, 11:14 PM

haha thats awesome

Josephassaad · 02-12-2008, 11:30 PM

Very Funny
It will be E-mailed to friends....eh !!

GlockMeister · 02-12-2008, 11:41 PM

That is hilarious no matter how many times I read it.

ArkansasHunter · 02-12-2008, 11:45 PM

Dearn I thought I had thought of all thise things to do when I go with my wife to Wal Mart.
crap !

pball942 · 02-13-2008, 12:58 AM

I don't recommend #15. Got me kicked out.

GlockMeister · 02-13-2008, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArkansasHunter

Dearn I thought I had thought of all thise things to do when I go with my wife to Wal Mart.
crap !

Hey A.H., I'd love to hear you did any of it, while with your wife at wally world or during a trip there by yourself. I can even picture it. Of course it would all be in fun and sometimes my friend, you just gotta have a little fun with and in life, and you sound as if you already know that and enjoy it to its' fullest.
But I mean even something as innocent as dropping a few packs of condoms into an unsuspecting shoppers cart cracks me up. I think I'd have to put so many in there, the cashier would look at them funny. But not so much they'd see them all before getting there. If it were me, which if I can remember to do it, it will be, I'd even have to hang around by the registers to see their faces. Especially if it was someone you know would never buy them, let alone in a store such as WalMart.

Go ahead A.H. cause a little mischief. Have a little fun. lmao

meatloaf · 02-13-2008, 03:33 AM

thats priceless

Seabeescotty · 02-13-2008, 07:13 AM

The perfect way to get out of cruising the aisles!!!LMAO

Windwalker · 02-13-2008, 07:16 AM

Gives trips to wal mart a new meaning LOL

Inew2guns · 02-13-2008, 09:47 PM

Wow I thought I was ganna die laughing!

Rye-man · 02-13-2008, 09:56 PM

Love it. Thanks for posting

"hey honey want to got to wal-mart hehehe"

billy · 02-13-2008, 10:12 PM

yeah !
i think that is the idea.
start begging to go along and she will NEVER take you with her!
not after a coupla those ideas.

teenagegunwacho · 02-14-2008, 10:23 AM

Are those true

I like the mission impossible one

02-12-2008, 10:35 PM	#2
270wsm Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Georgia Posts: 326 Images: 2	Billy, Those are freakin' hilarious! My sides are hurtin' from laughin' so hard! __________________ THIS IS MY COMMANDMENT,THAT YE LOVE ONE ANOTHER,AS I HAVE LOVED YOU-Jesus Christ(John15:12)

02-12-2008, 11:41 PM	#6
GlockMeister Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Northern Illinois Posts: 6,257	That is hilarious no matter how many times I read it. __________________ I'd rather be tried by 12 than carried by 6!

02-13-2008, 07:13 AM	#11
Seabeescotty The ol' Coot Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Jay, Oklahoma, God's country. Posts: 4,567 Images: 18 Blog Entries: 1	The perfect way to get out of cruising the aisles!!!LMAO __________________ Adapt, improvise, overcome.-Gysgt Highway, Heartbreak Ridge

02-13-2008, 07:16 AM	#12
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	Gives trips to wal mart a new meaning LOL __________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it

02-13-2008, 09:56 PM	#14
Rye-man Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Western Colorado Posts: 99	Love it. Thanks for posting "hey honey want to got to wal-mart hehehe" __________________ "A free people ought to be armed." - George Washington

02-12-2008, 10:28 PM	#1
billy spiritual counselor Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: a secret lab on the shores of lake titicaca Posts: 14,261 Images: 9 Blog Entries: 154	walmart funnies This is why women should not take men shopping against their will After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking. 2 July 2 Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away." 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on lay-away. 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area. 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department. 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were. 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme. 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels. 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!" 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" And last, but not least 15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!" Regards, Wal-Mart __________________ "I would never die for my beliefs because what if I'm wrong?"- Bertrand Russell Last edited by billy; 02-12-2008 at 10:30 PM.

02-12-2008, 11:11 PM	#3
Shootester Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 218	LOL that is great!!!

02-12-2008, 11:14 PM	#4
fishnfool1991 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: biscoe, nc Posts: 162	haha thats awesome

02-12-2008, 11:30 PM	#5
Josephassaad Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Ottawa, Canada Posts: 2	Very Funny It will be E-mailed to friends....eh !!

02-12-2008, 11:45 PM	#7
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Dearn I thought I had thought of all thise things to do when I go with my wife to Wal Mart. crap !

02-13-2008, 12:58 AM	#8
pball942 Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 256	I don't recommend #15. Got me kicked out.

02-13-2008, 03:33 AM	#10
meatloaf Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: lakewood CO Posts: 956 Images: 3	thats priceless

02-13-2008, 09:47 PM	#13
Inew2guns Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Far far away Posts: 32	Wow I thought I was ganna die laughing!

02-13-2008, 10:12 PM	#15
billy spiritual counselor Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: a secret lab on the shores of lake titicaca Posts: 14,261 Images: 9 Blog Entries: 154	yeah ! i think that is the idea. start begging to go along and she will NEVER take you with her! not after a coupla those ideas. __________________ "I would never die for my beliefs because what if I'm wrong?"- Bertrand Russell

02-14-2008, 10:23 AM	#16
teenagegunwacho Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: The South Posts: 123	Are those true I like the mission impossible one