Farm for sale

snuffysmith · 02-17-2008, 03:58 AM

It seems an old farmer had finally decided to retire, move to Fla. and live with his daughter. He placed an add in the local paper and in the city paper nearby. A few days later, a brand-new, fancy foreign car pulled down the lane and up to the farmhouse.
It was a city slicker wanting to move out of the city. He struted around, bragging about how much money he had but he wanted to be satisfied with the farm he bought.
The farmer gave him the grand tour, house, barn; showed him the chicken house and storage shed. Told him about the fruit trees in the orchard. The city fellow was getting more and more excited the more he saw. He made the farmer an offer for much more than the farmer expected as they walked around the barn to look at the pastures. Suddenly the city slicker stopped and yelped. "Oh No, BEES; I'm afraid of bees, this is terrible, I'm afraid the deal is off."
The farmer, thinking fast, replied" Oh don't worry, those are tame bees, I hand-raised them myself, they won't bother you." The city guy was still doubtful. The farmer could see all that money flying away so he thought fast. "Look, I'll make you a deal, you take off all your clothes, I'll tie you to that tree next to the hives, and if you get one sting, I'll knock off 20k off the price. I've got to go to town for feed, take an hour and I'll be right back. The city fellows greed talked him into the deal. He stripped down and the farmer tied him up and went to town.
While there he ran into an old friend and got to shooting the breeze and forgot the time. Suddenly he realized it had been 2.5 hours and he rushed back as fast as his old pick-up would go. When he got there he tore around behind the barn to see what had happened.
There hung the city slicker limp, the ropes the only thing holding him up.
Oh Lor*y, "I've killed him" he though. Running over, he shook the man and said "Are you alright? The city feller groans and raising his head, said. " I just got one question... does that calf have a mother? "

Snuffy

Windwalker · 02-17-2008, 09:32 AM

LOL, my laugh to start the day.

ardeekay · 02-18-2008, 06:04 PM

3 deer hunters, sitting around the campfire, arguing who had the dumber wife... first guy says, " my wife is so dumb, she cain't do the checkbook, so I gotta do it for her !!".... second guy says " thats nuthin', my wife is so dumb, she can't clean the house, so I gotta do it for her!! " Third guy says " you guys are married to wizzards... my wife is so dumb, that we take separate vacations, and when she packs, she puts condums in her suitcase..and SHE DON'T EVEN HAVE A DICK !!! "

02-17-2008, 03:58 AM	#1
snuffysmith Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: central Arkansas Posts: 580	Farm for sale It seems an old farmer had finally decided to retire, move to Fla. and live with his daughter. He placed an add in the local paper and in the city paper nearby. A few days later, a brand-new, fancy foreign car pulled down the lane and up to the farmhouse. It was a city slicker wanting to move out of the city. He struted around, bragging about how much money he had but he wanted to be satisfied with the farm he bought. The farmer gave him the grand tour, house, barn; showed him the chicken house and storage shed. Told him about the fruit trees in the orchard. The city fellow was getting more and more excited the more he saw. He made the farmer an offer for much more than the farmer expected as they walked around the barn to look at the pastures. Suddenly the city slicker stopped and yelped. "Oh No, BEES; I'm afraid of bees, this is terrible, I'm afraid the deal is off." The farmer, thinking fast, replied" Oh don't worry, those are tame bees, I hand-raised them myself, they won't bother you." The city guy was still doubtful. The farmer could see all that money flying away so he thought fast. "Look, I'll make you a deal, you take off all your clothes, I'll tie you to that tree next to the hives, and if you get one sting, I'll knock off 20k off the price. I've got to go to town for feed, take an hour and I'll be right back. The city fellows greed talked him into the deal. He stripped down and the farmer tied him up and went to town. While there he ran into an old friend and got to shooting the breeze and forgot the time. Suddenly he realized it had been 2.5 hours and he rushed back as fast as his old pick-up would go. When he got there he tore around behind the barn to see what had happened. There hung the city slicker limp, the ropes the only thing holding him up. Oh Lor*y, "I've killed him" he though. Running over, he shook the man and said "Are you alright? The city feller groans and raising his head, said. " I just got one question... does that calf have a mother? " Snuffy __________________ time & weather changes everything KTALGSTO

02-17-2008, 09:32 AM	#2
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	LOL, my laugh to start the day. __________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it

02-18-2008, 06:04 PM	#3
ardeekay Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 19	3 deer hunters... 3 deer hunters, sitting around the campfire, arguing who had the dumber wife... first guy says, " my wife is so dumb, she cain't do the checkbook, so I gotta do it for her !!".... second guy says " thats nuthin', my wife is so dumb, she can't clean the house, so I gotta do it for her!! " Third guy says " you guys are married to wizzards... my wife is so dumb, that we take separate vacations, and when she packs, she puts condums in her suitcase..and SHE DON'T EVEN HAVE A DICK !!! "