funnies!

[billy]

SENIOR MOMENTS
>
> An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating,
> the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly
> gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new
> restaurant, and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
>
> The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
>
> The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of
> that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that is red
> and has thorns."
>
> "Do you mean a rose?"
>
> "Yes," the man said. He turned toward the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's
> the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

ANNUAL PHYSICAL
>
> 70-year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back
> with normal results. Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great
> physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace
> with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with God?"
>
> George replied, "God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so
> he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the
> bathroom poof the light goes on, when I'm done poof the light goes off."
>
> "Wow!" commented Dr. Smith, "That's incredible!"
>
> A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Ethel," he said,
> "George is doing fine. Physically he's great. But, I had to call because I'm
> in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the
> night and poof the light goes on in the bathroom, and then when he is
> through poof the light goes off?"
>
> Ethel exclaimed, "Oh, my God! He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
>

[bigbuddy21]

good one, billy

[billy]

FLORIDA SENIORS
>
> A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Mercedes convertible. He took
> off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing
> through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he
> thought as he roared down I-75.
>
> He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view
> mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and
> siren blaring. "I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and
> he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph, then 110,
> 120 mph! Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of
> thing."
>
> He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch
> up with him.
>
> The trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir,"
> he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is
> Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never
> heard before, I'll let you go."
>
> The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a
> Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."
>
> The trooper replied, "Sir, have a nice day."
>

MUTUAL ORGASM
>
> Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from
> their park bench. Ethel said, "You know, Mabel, I've been reading this 'Sex
> and Marriage' book and all they talk about is 'mutual orgasm.'
>
> "Mutual orgasm here and mutual orgasm' there. That's all they talk about.
> Tell me, Mabel, when your husband was alive, did you two ever have mutual
> orgasm?".
>
> Mabel thought for a long while. Finally, she shook her head and said, "No, I
> think we had State Farm."

[CalifgirlinOk]

billy they are ALL funny!!!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning....

[SwedeSteve]

Really funny ones BillyBoy! Great way to start the day!

[Windwalker]

Thanks Billy, you have provided me with my laugh to get the day started right. Hope your day goes fine too.