Let's Get Some One-liners Goin'

Arkiemike · 03-09-2008, 04:10 PM

What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

Senator

NEXT?

elmer fudd · 03-09-2008, 05:40 PM

whats the sticky stuff between elephants toes?

Slow natives

TXplt · 03-09-2008, 05:52 PM

My wife complained that she saw a naked pilot running across our lawn. "How did you know he was a pilot if he was naked," I asked. "Well," she said, "he had a big watch, a small d**k, and he stole our newspaper......"

Mooseman684 · 03-09-2008, 06:04 PM

Why are Politicians Like Bananas ?

First they are green, they hang in Bunches, then they're Yellow, then they are ROTTEN !!!

CalifgirlinOk · 03-09-2008, 07:03 PM

What is the one thing you don't say to a cop after he has pulled you over ?

"Hold my beer officer while I get my license for you".

bigbuddy21 · 03-09-2008, 07:11 PM

how do you drive a gun owner crazy?

mosineer · 03-09-2008, 07:35 PM

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

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All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing

Troy · 03-10-2008, 02:25 AM

waddya call 50,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

a good start.

ArkansasHunter · 03-10-2008, 02:28 AM

What do you call a Doberman that likes to fight ?
Answear : Fiedo
I just made that up LMAO

cubbieman · 03-10-2008, 06:43 PM

AH, it shows that you just made that up

mosineer · 03-10-2008, 07:34 PM

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

*****************************************************
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing

Mooseman684 · 03-10-2008, 09:42 PM

What do you get when you cross peanut Butter with a Cat ?

Either Peanut butter that sees good in the dark or a pussy that sticks to the roof of your Mouth !!!

Shootester · 03-11-2008, 11:34 PM

I have a few, but they are BAD so I'm not putting them up...

Farmer · 03-12-2008, 05:49 AM

Similarity between a car full of cops and a porcupine?

Porcupines pricks are on the outside

flyinguy · 03-17-2008, 04:47 PM

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN HONEST POLITICIAN? FICTICIOUS!

troy2000 · 03-17-2008, 04:51 PM

What do you get if you cross a pygmy with a prostitute?

A little eff'er 'bout that high...

elmer fudd · 03-17-2008, 07:29 PM

what do you call a deer with no eyes?
ihavenoidear! (say it slowly)

Sooner Shooter · 03-17-2008, 09:47 PM

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick

elmer fudd · 03-17-2008, 10:01 PM

why is one side of a goose V longer than the other?

Becouse there's more geese on that side!

Bookman · 03-18-2008, 08:37 PM

elmer, about your deer with no eyes joke......

New Englander: What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Southerner: Hmmmm......
NE: No idear?

NE: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Sou: Hmmmmmm.........
NE : Still no idear?

03-09-2008, 04:10 PM	#1
Arkiemike Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: SW Arkansas Posts: 67	Let's Get Some One-liners Goin' What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator NEXT?

03-09-2008, 05:40 PM	#2
elmer fudd Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: pheasant country USA! Posts: 2,029	whats the sticky stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives __________________ spur hard, shoot straight, party hardy!

03-09-2008, 05:52 PM	#3
TXplt Conservative in Exile Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 3,191 Images: 4 Blog Entries: 2	My wife complained that she saw a naked pilot running across our lawn. "How did you know he was a pilot if he was naked," I asked. "Well," she said, "he had a big watch, a small d**k, and he stole our newspaper......" __________________ Old fighter pilots never die.....They just wind up in Texas

03-09-2008, 06:04 PM	#4
Mooseman684 Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Alaska Wilderness Posts: 10,528 Images: 2	Why are Politicians Like Bananas ? First they are green, they hang in Bunches, then they're Yellow, then they are ROTTEN !!! __________________ You know you might be facing your doom,when all you get is a click when you're expecting a BOOM!

03-09-2008, 07:03 PM	#5
CalifgirlinOk MY CAT RUDY ATE SANTA..!! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 3,579	What is the one thing you don't say to a cop after he has pulled you over ? "Hold my beer officer while I get my license for you". __________________ "Most of the troubles in the world is caused by people wanting to be important". T.S.Eliot

03-09-2008, 07:11 PM	#6
bigbuddy21 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: new albany in. Posts: 1,037 Images: 5	how do you drive a gun owner crazy? __________________ LAND OF THE FREE BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!

03-09-2008, 07:35 PM	#7
mosineer Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern Indiana Posts: 1,371	Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? *************************************************** All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing**

03-10-2008, 02:25 AM	#8
Troy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Manitoba Canada Posts: 2,505 Images: 3	waddya call 50,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? a good start.

03-10-2008, 02:28 AM	#9
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	What do you call a Doberman that likes to fight ? Answear : Fiedo I just made that up LMAO

03-10-2008, 06:43 PM	#10
cubbieman Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Alaska Posts: 1,550	AH, it shows that you just made that up

03-10-2008, 07:34 PM	#11
mosineer Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Southern Indiana Posts: 1,371	What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? el-if-i-no *************************************************** All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing**

03-10-2008, 09:42 PM	#12
Mooseman684 Super Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Alaska Wilderness Posts: 10,528 Images: 2	What do you get when you cross peanut Butter with a Cat ? Either Peanut butter that sees good in the dark or a pussy that sticks to the roof of your Mouth !!! __________________ You know you might be facing your doom,when all you get is a click when you're expecting a BOOM!

03-11-2008, 11:34 PM	#13
Shootester Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 218	I have a few, but they are BAD so I'm not putting them up...

03-12-2008, 05:49 AM	#14
Farmer Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Limbri NSW Au Posts: 322	Similarity between a car full of cops and a porcupine? Porcupines pricks are on the outside __________________ Cheers, Rob I'm into gun control - I always use both hands!!!!!!!

03-17-2008, 04:47 PM	#15
flyinguy Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: central new york state Posts: 43	WHAT DO YOU CALL AN HONEST POLITICIAN? FICTICIOUS! Last edited by flyinguy; 03-17-2008 at 04:49 PM. Reason: spelling

03-17-2008, 04:51 PM	#16
troy2000 Resident Armed Liberal Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Southern California Posts: 10,020 Images: 9	What do you get if you cross a pygmy with a prostitute? A little eff'er 'bout that high... __________________ I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting you really believe what you just said. WF Buckley, Jr

03-17-2008, 07:29 PM	#17
elmer fudd Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: pheasant country USA! Posts: 2,029	what do you call a deer with no eyes? ihavenoidear! (say it slowly) __________________ spur hard, shoot straight, party hardy!

03-17-2008, 09:47 PM	#18
Sooner Shooter Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 688	What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick __________________ Save the drama for your mama!

03-17-2008, 10:01 PM	#19
elmer fudd Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: pheasant country USA! Posts: 2,029	why is one side of a goose V longer than the other? Becouse there's more geese on that side! __________________ spur hard, shoot straight, party hardy!

03-18-2008, 08:37 PM	#20
Bookman Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: 10 paces south of Canada Posts: 748	elmer, about your deer with no eyes joke...... New Englander: What do you call a deer with no eyes? Southerner: Hmmmm...... NE: No idear? NE: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Sou: Hmmmmmm......... NE : Still no idear?