When grandma goes to court

MrsS · 03-13-2008, 05:42 PM

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

CalifgirlinOk · 03-13-2008, 05:58 PM

Thanks for putting a BIG smile on my face.... LOL!!

7mmremmag1995 · 03-15-2008, 12:03 PM

lmao

i believe she told the judges history right after that. lol

Windwalker · 03-15-2008, 01:56 PM

Thanks, that brought a good laugh.

ArkansasHunter · 03-15-2008, 02:01 PM

feller I laughed so hard at that I know the neighbors had to hear me !!! And Herbert ran up under the couch cause it scard him. LOL
A.H

Hunterman · 03-15-2008, 02:05 PM

thats pretty funny right there

elmer fudd · 03-15-2008, 11:17 PM

and some people say old people dont know anything!

03-13-2008, 05:42 PM	#1
MrsS Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: 16th state. Posts: 1,805	When grandma goes to court Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.' The defense attorney nearly died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.' __________________ "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a savior, which is Christ the LORD." Luke 2:11

03-13-2008, 05:58 PM	#2
CalifgirlinOk MY CAT RUDY ATE SANTA..!! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 3,579	Thanks for putting a BIG smile on my face.... LOL!! __________________ "Most of the troubles in the world is caused by people wanting to be important". T.S.Eliot

03-15-2008, 12:03 PM	#3
7mmremmag1995 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,271 Images: 1 Blog Entries: 1	lmao i believe she told the judges history right after that. lol __________________ Just LeDoux it

03-15-2008, 01:56 PM	#4
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	Thanks, that brought a good laugh. __________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it

03-15-2008, 02:05 PM	#6
Hunterman Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: The South Posts: 30	lol thats pretty funny right there

03-15-2008, 02:01 PM	#5
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	feller I laughed so hard at that I know the neighbors had to hear me !!! And Herbert ran up under the couch cause it scard him. LOL A.H

03-15-2008, 11:17 PM	#7
elmer fudd Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: pheasant country USA! Posts: 2,029	and some people say old people dont know anything! __________________ spur hard, shoot straight, party hardy!