So Who's Got The Better Rifle?

Cyrano · 03-26-2008, 05:56 PM

You have to imagine this is being done by Larry the Cable Guy speaking on behalf of his AK-47; Jeff Foxworthy speaking on behalf of his AR-15; and Ron White speaking up for his Mosin-Nagant. Think of it as a routine from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

Larry: My AK-47 works even though I have never cleaned it. Ever.
Jeff: I have this $9.00 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon-infused oil I use for cleaning my AR-15.
Ron: My 91/30 was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.

Larry: I can hit the broad side of a barn from inside with my AK!
Jeff: I can put 20 rounds through the same knothole in the broad side of a barn from 600 meters with my AR! Ron: I can hit the barn from two counties over with my Mosin!

Larry: Cheap detachable magazines are fun to buy.
Jeff: Cheap detachable magazines melt.
Ron: What's a detachable magazine?

Jeff: I can silently flip off the safety of my AR with my finger on the trigger.
Larry: You can hear me take the safety off from 300 meters away.
Ron: What’s a safety?

Larry: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
Ron: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.
Jeff: What's recoil?

Larry: My rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.
Jeff: My rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
Ron: My rifle has dog collars.

Jeff: My bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
Larry: My bayonet makes a good wire cutter.
Ron: My bayonet is longer than your leg!

Larry: I can put a hole 3/10ths of an inch wide through 12inches of solid oak.
Jeff: I can put one quarter-inch-wide hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
Ron: I can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of my bullet going downrange!

Larry: When I run out of out of ammo, my AK-47 will pass as a club.
Jeff: When I run out of ammo, my AR-15 makes a great wiffle bat.
Ron: When I out of ammo, my 91/30 makes a great war club, pike, boat oar, or tent pole. I can also use it for firewood.

Larry: My sight adjustment goes to "10" and I’ve never bothered moving it.
Jeff: My sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
Ron: My sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and I actually tried it once!

Larry: My rifle can be used by any two-bit nation's illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.
Jeff: My rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two-bit nations' illiterate conscripts.
Ron: My rifle has fought against itself and won, every time!

Larry: My rifle has won revolutions!
Jeff: My rifle won the Cold War!
Ron: My rifle won the pole vault at the 1980 Olympics!

Larry: I paid $350 for my AK with two magazines.
Jeff: I paid $900 for my AR-15 all by itself.
Ron: I paid $59.95 for my Mosin, and they threw in a cleaning kit, a sling, the bayonet and an oil bottle.

Larry: I buy cheap 7.62x 39 ammo by the case.
Jeff: I reload precision-crafted, turned to a tolerance of ten-thousandth 5.56mm bullets, one at a time.
Ron: My Mosin ammo is dug out of a farmer's field somewhere in the Ukraine, and it works just fine.

Larry: When I mount the bayonet on my AK-47, it scares people.
Jeff: When I mount a bayonet on my AR-15, people laugh.
Ron: With a Mosin-Nagant, you can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your foxhole.

Jeff: The service life of the AR platform has been 40 years.
Larry: The service life of the AK-47 is 50 years, so far.
Ron: The service life of the Mosin-Nagant is 110 years and counting.

Jeff: You can change cartridge sizes in the AR-15 with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
Larry: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.
Ron: No real man would risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is any other cartridge than 7.62x54R!

Larry: I can repair my AK with a big hammer and a good swift kick.
Jeff: I don’t have to repair my rifle. I just take it to a certified gunsmith. It's still under warranty!
Ron: If my rifle breaks, I just buy a new one.

Larry: It’s a badge of honor when you can fire fast enough with your AK to get the handguard to burst into flames.
Jeff: It’s a badge of honor when you can shoot a five-shot sub-MOA group with an AR-15.
Ron: It’s a badge of honor when you can cycle 5 rounds though a Mosin without the aid of a 2 x 4!

Larry: After cleaning my rifle, I have a strong urge for a stiff shot of vodka.
Jeff: After cleaning my rifle, I have cravings for hot dogs and apple pie.
Ron: Before cleaning my rifle, I put meat, onions and peppers on the bayonet, fire 20 rounds rapid, and have shishkabob.

Larry: You can accessorize my AK-47 rifle with a new muzzle brake or a teak stock set.
Jeff: My Ar-15’s accessories are eight times more valuable than the rifle!
Ron: They say the Mosin-Nagant’s accessory kit is a small tin can with a funny lid; but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.

Larry: My rifle's finish is varnish and paint.
Jeff: My rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
Ron: My rifle's finish is Cosmoline, German dirt, and Olga's fingernail polish.

Larry: My wife tolerates my autographed, framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.
Jeff: My wife tolerates my framed, autographed picture of Eugene Stoner.
Ron: I’m not sure there were cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin.

So you tell me. Who's got the best rifle here, hmm?

elmer fudd · 03-26-2008, 07:19 PM

lol i dont know though just give me all of them and then i will decide!

squirrelbaster · 03-26-2008, 07:30 PM

who has the best rifle? well if youv ben visiting this forums for very long you should know whos got the best............knightrider does!!! ROFL!

jmp8927 · 03-26-2008, 08:55 PM

ooohh....hmmmmm....best rifle. Jeff. Best assault rifle, Larry. Most fun, Ron all the way! Plus it helps that you can buy 5-6 mosins for one AK and 10 for one AR.

03-26-2008, 05:56 PM	#1
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,356	You have to imagine this is being done by Larry the Cable Guy speaking on behalf of his AK-47; Jeff Foxworthy speaking on behalf of his AR-15; and Ron White speaking up for his Mosin-Nagant. Think of it as a routine from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Larry: My AK-47 works even though I have never cleaned it. Ever. Jeff: I have this $9.00 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon-infused oil I use for cleaning my AR-15. Ron: My 91/30 was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945. Larry: I can hit the broad side of a barn from inside with my AK! Jeff: I can put 20 rounds through the same knothole in the broad side of a barn from 600 meters with my AR! Ron: I can hit the barn from two counties over with my Mosin! Larry: Cheap detachable magazines are fun to buy. Jeff: Cheap detachable magazines melt. Ron: What's a detachable magazine? Jeff: I can silently flip off the safety of my AR with my finger on the trigger. Larry: You can hear me take the safety off from 300 meters away. Ron: What’s a safety? Larry: Recoil is manageable, even fun. Ron: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot. Jeff: What's recoil? Larry: My rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling. Jeff: My rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system. Ron: My rifle has dog collars. Jeff: My bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife. Larry: My bayonet makes a good wire cutter. Ron: My bayonet is longer than your leg! Larry: I can put a hole 3/10ths of an inch wide through 12inches of solid oak. Jeff: I can put one quarter-inch-wide hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds. Ron: I can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of my bullet going downrange! Larry: When I run out of out of ammo, my AK-47 will pass as a club. Jeff: When I run out of ammo, my AR-15 makes a great wiffle bat. Ron: When I out of ammo, my 91/30 makes a great war club, pike, boat oar, or tent pole. I can also use it for firewood. Larry: My sight adjustment goes to "10" and I’ve never bothered moving it. Jeff: My sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle. Ron: My sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and I actually tried it once! Larry: My rifle can be used by any two-bit nation's illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide. Jeff: My rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two-bit nations' illiterate conscripts. Ron: My rifle has fought against itself and won, every time! Larry: My rifle has won revolutions! Jeff: My rifle won the Cold War! Ron: My rifle won the pole vault at the 1980 Olympics! Larry: I paid $350 for my AK with two magazines. Jeff: I paid $900 for my AR-15 all by itself. Ron: I paid $59.95 for my Mosin, and they threw in a cleaning kit, a sling, the bayonet and an oil bottle. Larry: I buy cheap 7.62x 39 ammo by the case. Jeff: I reload precision-crafted, turned to a tolerance of ten-thousandth 5.56mm bullets, one at a time. Ron: My Mosin ammo is dug out of a farmer's field somewhere in the Ukraine, and it works just fine. Larry: When I mount the bayonet on my AK-47, it scares people. Jeff: When I mount a bayonet on my AR-15, people laugh. Ron: With a Mosin-Nagant, you can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your foxhole. Jeff: The service life of the AR platform has been 40 years. Larry: The service life of the AK-47 is 50 years, so far. Ron: The service life of the Mosin-Nagant is 110 years and counting. Jeff: You can change cartridge sizes in the AR-15 with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper. Larry: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes. Ron: No real man would risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is any other cartridge than 7.62x54R! Larry: I can repair my AK with a big hammer and a good swift kick. Jeff: I don’t have to repair my rifle. I just take it to a certified gunsmith. It's still under warranty! Ron: If my rifle breaks, I just buy a new one. Larry: It’s a badge of honor when you can fire fast enough with your AK to get the handguard to burst into flames. Jeff: It’s a badge of honor when you can shoot a five-shot sub-MOA group with an AR-15. Ron: It’s a badge of honor when you can cycle 5 rounds though a Mosin without the aid of a 2 x 4! Larry: After cleaning my rifle, I have a strong urge for a stiff shot of vodka. Jeff: After cleaning my rifle, I have cravings for hot dogs and apple pie. Ron: Before cleaning my rifle, I put meat, onions and peppers on the bayonet, fire 20 rounds rapid, and have shishkabob. Larry: You can accessorize my AK-47 rifle with a new muzzle brake or a teak stock set. Jeff: My Ar-15’s accessories are eight times more valuable than the rifle! Ron: They say the Mosin-Nagant’s accessory kit is a small tin can with a funny lid; but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest. Larry: My rifle's finish is varnish and paint. Jeff: My rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers. Ron: My rifle's finish is Cosmoline, German dirt, and Olga's fingernail polish. Larry: My wife tolerates my autographed, framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov. Jeff: My wife tolerates my framed, autographed picture of Eugene Stoner. Ron: I’m not sure there were cameras to photograph Sergei Mosin. So you tell me. Who's got the best rifle here, hmm? Last edited by Cyrano; 03-26-2008 at 05:58 PM.

03-26-2008, 07:19 PM	#2
elmer fudd Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: pheasant country USA! Posts: 1,934	lol i dont know though just give me all of them and then i will decide! __________________ spur hard, shoot straight, party hardy!

03-26-2008, 07:30 PM	#3
squirrelbaster Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,266	who has the best rifle? well if youv ben visiting this forums for very long you should know whos got the best............knightrider does!!! ROFL! __________________ "My Shotgun SAYS I AM the POLICE !"--Mooseman684 "I like Turtles!" youtube kid

03-26-2008, 08:55 PM	#4
jmp8927 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Walterboro, SC Posts: 1,141 Images: 17	ooohh....hmmmmm....best rifle. Jeff. Best assault rifle, Larry. Most fun, Ron all the way! Plus it helps that you can buy 5-6 mosins for one AK and 10 for one AR. __________________ Doing the unexpected makes the unexpected the expected and thus the expected becomes the unexpected.