Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Doglips · 08-14-2002, 08:58 PM

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
The question that everyone has been dying to know...Why did the
chicken cross the road?

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was historically inevitable.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and
keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives called
into question.

MOSES: and God came down from the heavens, and he said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed
the road, and there was much rejoicing.

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I
repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why
doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this
chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000,
which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file
your import documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross
the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the
same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the
chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chicken, over great periods of time, have been
naturally selected in such ways that they are now genetically
disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
moved beneath the chicken depends upon you frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road, it
transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

NRAJOE · 08-15-2002, 01:24 PM

That what I always thought...He was running from Col. Sanders!

Oxford · 08-15-2002, 08:02 PM

Because he was a Road Island Red. (My guess is that only those with rural backgrounds will know what this means.)

Wayne · 08-15-2002, 10:05 PM

Or.... As they say in Texas To prove to the Armadillo that it could be done

Big Dog · 08-16-2002, 09:21 AM

Wayne, you know what we call armadiilos in Florida? Possums on the half-shell!

oneastrix · 08-16-2002, 09:57 AM

heck, I was fourteen years old before I figured out that armadillos aren't dead on the side of a Texas highway!

DANA · 08-16-2002, 10:31 AM

DANA

08-14-2002, 08:58 PM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,088	Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? The question that everyone has been dying to know...Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was historically inevitable. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. MOSES: and God came down from the heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway? BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file your import documents, and balance your checkbook. OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" DARWIN: Chicken, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such ways that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads. EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon you frame of reference. BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road, it transcended it. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

08-15-2002, 01:24 PM	#2
NRAJOE Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toledo,OH Posts: 19,252 Images: 3	That what I always thought...He was running from Col. Sanders! __________________ U.S. Army 1976-1979 237th Combat Engineers Heilbronn, Germany

08-15-2002, 08:02 PM	#3
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,101 Blog Entries: 4	Because he was a Road Island Red. (My guess is that only those with rural backgrounds will know what this means.) __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

08-15-2002, 10:05 PM	#4
Wayne Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Copperas Cove TX Posts: 313	Or.... As they say in Texas To prove to the Armadillo that it could be done __________________ You give peace a chance. I'll stay back here and cover you, just in case it don't work out. Moderation is for Monks

08-16-2002, 09:21 AM	#5
Big Dog Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tallahassee, Florida Posts: 10,412	Wayne, you know what we call armadiilos in Florida? Possums on the half-shell! __________________ Moderator of: AR15/M16, M14/M1A, New/Beginning Shooters and Militaria/Collectables.

08-16-2002, 09:57 AM	#6
oneastrix Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: San Antonio, TX Posts: 5,213	heck, I was fourteen years old before I figured out that armadillos aren't dead on the side of a Texas highway! __________________ There's no one more thankful to sit at the table, than the one who best remembers hunger's pain.

08-16-2002, 10:31 AM	#7
DANA Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: WAITSFIELD VERMONT Posts: 1,605	DON'T FORGET BARRED ROCK DANA