22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

LarryO1970 · 04-01-2008, 04:11 AM

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat

1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States .

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day .........but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."

mym1a · 04-01-2008, 04:59 AM

I'm speachless larryO right on the money!!!!!!

LEE3370 · 04-01-2008, 09:22 AM

Larry, Larry, Larry,
This is the HUMOR thread. All that is just the plain truth.
Never really sat down and thought of all that before now. Every one hits the nail square on the head.
Hope you don't mind me e-mailing that list around to a few folks I know.

LarryO1970 · 04-01-2008, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LEE3370

Larry, Larry, Larry,
This is the HUMOR thread. All that is just the plain truth.
Never really sat down and thought of all that before now. Every one hits the nail square on the head.
Hope you don't mind me e-mailing that list around to a few folks I know.

Yeah... I was conflicted... it would be funny if it wasn't so true... they're hand-wringing as we speak...

Quote:

Originally Posted by LEE3370

Larry, Larry, Larry,
This is the HUMOR thread. All that is just the plain truth.
Never really sat down and thought of all that before now. Every one hits the nail square on the head.
Hope you don't mind me e-mailing that list around to a few folks I know.

Send it to anyone and everyone you know that would enjoy the truth/humor... and even to those who would implode reading it.

Windwalker · 04-01-2008, 05:01 PM

Well, I can't agree with any of the 22 items as written so I guess I'm not a good Democrat. However, I am a conservative Democrat, apparently a dying breed in the Party, but I would vote for a Mc Cain- Ron Paul ticket in a heartbeat.

TXplt · 04-01-2008, 05:16 PM

LOL !!!

Actually, Christopher Columbus was the perfect modern day (Kennedy-Clinton-Obama) democrat: Didn't know where he was going, got lost along the way, wasn't sure where he was when he got there, and lied about where he'd been......

AND

He did it all with someone else's money.

LarryO1970 · 04-01-2008, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXplt

LOL !!!

Actually, Christopher Columbus was the perfect modern day (Kennedy-Clinton-Obama) democrat: Didn't know where he was going, got lost along the way, wasn't sure where he was when he got there, and lied about where he'd been......

AND

He did it all with someone else's money.

Priceless TXplt ... priceless !

louiethelump · 04-01-2008, 05:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Windwalker

Well, I can't agree with any of the 22 items as written so I guess I'm not a good Democrat. However, I am a conservative Democrat, apparently a dying breed in the Party, but I would vote for a Mc Cain- Ron Paul ticket in a heartbeat.

Well, that makes two votes, counting Ron Paul. maybe three if his wife votes,,,,,,,,,,,,,, keep working on it.......

Best of luck and don't let the other Dems know about you or they will have you done in...........

Louie

Windwalker · 04-01-2008, 05:56 PM

Yeah Louie, I have heard of the mysterious Clinton disappearance trouble and the friends of Clinton suicide problems.

ArkansasHunter · 04-01-2008, 06:04 PM

Larry Thanks I'm printing that to put in my time capsul. LOL

LarryO1970 · 04-01-2008, 06:07 PM

... what, no Liberal or Democrats attacking this post yet?

lorcin25 · 04-01-2008, 06:13 PM

Brilliant.

Hard to attack when you catch people with their pants down.

LarryO1970 · 04-01-2008, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lorcin25

Brilliant.

Hard to attack when you catch people with their pants down.

Gee, my bad. This actually was meant to be "a funny" but obviously hit a resonate nerve. We may be forced to move this thread into a political arena...

stitchclimber · 04-01-2008, 07:00 PM

I won't attack it, but I sure found no humor in it as a democrat myself. I think all to often we tend to put liberals in a box, label it, and slam the lid. I think as gun owners we'd be especially sensitive to that seeing as how we are constantly fighting negative stereotypes. Just something to think about.

LarryO1970 · 04-01-2008, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stitchclimber

I won't attack it, but I sure found no humor in it as a democrat myself. I think all to often we tend to put liberals in a box, label it, and slam the lid. I think as gun owners we'd be especially sensitive to that seeing as how we are constantly fighting negative stereotypes. Just something to think about.

By no means is this an attack. Was there any truth you saw, even as a Democrat?

Negative stereotypes as a Democrat how? If it is for gun-rights... the lion share of Democrats in office are anti-gun, correct?

This was meant as a joke... but apparently, it is not.

stitchclimber · 04-01-2008, 07:21 PM

I'll crack clinton, obama, and bush jokes all day. But your post seemed to lump all librals into one collective boat, and for a lot of Democrats, some of the things you posted are very true, but not for all.

I'm not offended and I doubt any other dems on this board will be either. But many have already posted and this is being taken a lot more seriousness than it is in jest. I guess I'm more concerned about the fact that by taking this seriously we are unjustly stereotyping a group of hard working individuals, myself being one of them.

If it was a joke lets laugh at it. If it's a political commentary, lets not stereotype. This post rides the line between the two.

9mmfan · 04-01-2008, 08:26 PM

That was great Larry, keep up the good work.

MagMT · 04-01-2008, 08:50 PM

There was once a time when this would have been too true, but these days so many people are trying to walk the grey area in between. True democrats or republicans are few and far between these days and the only reason we hear so much from them is because they're louder than those in the middle and won't shut the hell up. They can live how they want to live, I'm going to live how I want to, so leave me the hell alone!

WW2Junkie · 04-01-2008, 10:11 PM

Well just to throw my 2 cents in here, I am neither a Dem nor a Rep. I am a conservative. I found humor in it and yes it is probably close to home for alot but not all libs. I think it was meant to be funny and I laughed. Success! Remember, if the shoe fits . .

bigbuddy21 · 04-01-2008, 10:40 PM

LARRY, you must have hit a grandslam with that one or else the libs. wouldn't
be in such an uproar.

oh, btw did you hear about obama's bowling trip this weekend....he knocked 'em dead
scored a whopping 37 in ten frames!

04-01-2008, 04:11 AM	#1
LarryO1970 "Blazing Saddles" GOV Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Johnson Creek, WI Posts: 3,879	22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat 22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat 1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand. 2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. 4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's. 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural. 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. 8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do. 10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. 11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only. 12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution. 13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high. 14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell. 15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not. 16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person. 17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge. 18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House. 19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal. 20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest of the United States . 21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy. 22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day .........but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas." __________________ If anybody asks, it must have been the "trigger actuator nut".....

04-01-2008, 09:22 AM	#3
LEE3370 Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southern Indiana Perry County Posts: 402	Larry, Larry, Larry, This is the HUMOR thread. All that is just the plain truth. Never really sat down and thought of all that before now. Every one hits the nail square on the head. Hope you don't mind me e-mailing that list around to a few folks I know. __________________ GOD, COUNTRY, AND FLAG

04-01-2008, 05:01 PM	#5
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	Well, I can't agree with any of the 22 items as written so I guess I'm not a good Democrat. However, I am a conservative Democrat, apparently a dying breed in the Party, but I would vote for a Mc Cain- Ron Paul ticket in a heartbeat. __________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it

04-01-2008, 05:16 PM	#6
TXplt Conservative in Exile Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 3,191 Images: 4 Blog Entries: 2	LOL !!! Actually, Christopher Columbus was the perfect modern day (Kennedy-Clinton-Obama) democrat: Didn't know where he was going, got lost along the way, wasn't sure where he was when he got there, and lied about where he'd been...... AND He did it all with someone else's money. __________________ Old fighter pilots never die.....They just wind up in Texas

04-01-2008, 05:56 PM	#9
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 4,000	Yeah Louie, I have heard of the mysterious Clinton disappearance trouble and the friends of Clinton suicide problems. __________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it

04-01-2008, 04:59 AM	#2
mym1a Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,313	I'm speachless larryO right on the money!!!!!!

04-01-2008, 06:04 PM	#10
ArkansasHunter Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas Posts: 10,984	Larry Thanks I'm printing that to put in my time capsul. LOL

04-01-2008, 06:07 PM	#11
LarryO1970 "Blazing Saddles" GOV Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Johnson Creek, WI Posts: 3,879	... what, no Liberal or Democrats attacking this post yet? __________________ If anybody asks, it must have been the "trigger actuator nut".....

04-01-2008, 06:13 PM	#12
lorcin25 Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Alabama Posts: 291	Brilliant. Hard to attack when you catch people with their pants down.

04-01-2008, 07:00 PM	#14
stitchclimber Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The great northwest Posts: 1,014	I won't attack it, but I sure found no humor in it as a democrat myself. I think all to often we tend to put liberals in a box, label it, and slam the lid. I think as gun owners we'd be especially sensitive to that seeing as how we are constantly fighting negative stereotypes. Just something to think about. __________________ turning up the radio, got just enough religion and a half tank of gas...

04-01-2008, 07:21 PM	#16
stitchclimber Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The great northwest Posts: 1,014	I'll crack clinton, obama, and bush jokes all day. But your post seemed to lump all librals into one collective boat, and for a lot of Democrats, some of the things you posted are very true, but not for all. I'm not offended and I doubt any other dems on this board will be either. But many have already posted and this is being taken a lot more seriousness than it is in jest. I guess I'm more concerned about the fact that by taking this seriously we are unjustly stereotyping a group of hard working individuals, myself being one of them. If it was a joke lets laugh at it. If it's a political commentary, lets not stereotype. This post rides the line between the two. __________________ turning up the radio, got just enough religion and a half tank of gas...

04-01-2008, 08:26 PM	#17
9mmfan Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Anywhere The Department of Homeland Defense sends me. Tennessee, is my home. Posts: 448	That was great Larry, keep up the good work. __________________ Peace Through Superior Firepower !

04-01-2008, 08:50 PM	#18
MagMT Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Tacoma, Washington Posts: 21	There was once a time when this would have been too true, but these days so many people are trying to walk the grey area in between. True democrats or republicans are few and far between these days and the only reason we hear so much from them is because they're louder than those in the middle and won't shut the hell up. They can live how they want to live, I'm going to live how I want to, so leave me the hell alone!

04-01-2008, 10:11 PM	#19
WW2Junkie Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Middle of Wisconsin Posts: 137	Well just to throw my 2 cents in here, I am neither a Dem nor a Rep. I am a conservative. I found humor in it and yes it is probably close to home for alot but not all libs. I think it was meant to be funny and I laughed. Success! Remember, if the shoe fits . .

04-01-2008, 10:40 PM	#20
bigbuddy21 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: new albany in. Posts: 1,037 Images: 5	LARRY, you must have hit a grandslam with that one or else the libs. wouldn't be in such an uproar. oh, btw did you hear about obama's bowling trip this weekend....he knocked 'em dead scored a whopping 37 in ten frames! __________________ LAND OF THE FREE BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!