04-11-2008, 03:37 PM
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| Super Moderator    | Harley's and Vaseline
A guy wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until, one day; he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old. It is shiny and in absolute mint condition. He immediately buys it, and asks the seller how he kept it in such great condition for 10 years. Well, it's quite simple, really,' says the seller, 'whenever the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain.' And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline. That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike there. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in.' 'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.' No problem,' he says. And in they go. Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses Sandra. No one says a word. So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off, throws her on the table, and screws her right there, in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one says a word. He looks at her mom. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her every which way right there on the dinner table. Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence. All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket. Suddenly the father backs away from the table and shouts, 'All right, that's enough, I'll do the f**#ing dishes!
__________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right". |
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04-11-2008, 03:41 PM
| #2 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: South Arkansas
Posts: 10,984
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OMG !!!!!
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04-11-2008, 04:33 PM
| #5 |
| MY CAT RUDY ATE SANTA..!!  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 3,579
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LMAO !!!!
__________________ "Most of the troubles in the world is caused by people wanting to be important". T.S.Eliot |
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04-11-2008, 06:07 PM
| #7 |
| PUKHA DAWG  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Virginia, just outside of Washington D.C.
Posts: 3,609
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Outstanding.
__________________ Those who forget History are condemed to repeat it. |
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04-11-2008, 06:33 PM
| #8 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Missouri
Posts: 114
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HAHAHA that was prety good!
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04-11-2008, 06:35 PM
| #9 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 4,000
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Enterprising young man.lol
__________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it |
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04-11-2008, 07:02 PM
| #11 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Edmonds, WA
Posts: 3,639
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I actually broke out in audible laughter... Great stuff!
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04-11-2008, 07:07 PM
| #12 |
| Member  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: AT HOME
Posts: 79
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I already know the outcome, but it is still good. hahahaha.
__________________ If guns kill people, then I can blame misspelled words on my pencil.- Larry "The Cable Guy" |
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04-12-2008, 12:30 AM
| #13 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 141
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Sounds like a great place to go for dinner
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04-12-2008, 12:39 AM
| #14 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: May 2007 Location: Texas Hill Country
Posts: 3,175
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ROTFLMFAO! OMG Ox you are sooooooo bad!
__________________ "You can have my Freedom when I'm done with it!" |
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04-12-2008, 04:17 PM
| #15 |
| Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1
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still laughin
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04-12-2008, 04:26 PM
| #16 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: pheasant country USA!
Posts: 2,029
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LOL!
__________________ spur hard, shoot straight, party hardy! |
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04-13-2008, 11:16 AM
| #17 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Indiana
Posts: 546
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Ox strikes again!!! -UR
__________________ "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed"--Amendment II, Bill of Rights "He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself."--Thomas Paine "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one." - Jesus, Luke 22:36 |
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04-27-2008, 05:47 AM
| #19 |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: living in Alabama now
Posts: 298
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A friend of mine bought his wife a nice Harley so that they could go riding together. It was used and a bit dirty, so she spent a few hours washing and waxing it and then she used armorall on the seat for a pretty shine. She left all of us while she took it out for a "spin". About 10 minutes later she returned with a rip in the leg of her jeans and some mud on the bike. Seems that she couldn't remain on the seat and kept sliding off all the time. True story!
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04-27-2008, 06:15 AM
| #20 |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 408
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love it!
__________________ The First Amendment defines America, the Second Amendment defends it. |
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