How old am I?

Cyrano · 04-18-2008, 11:26 AM

A woman had a facelift done for her 50th birthday. She spent $15,000 and felt pretty good about the results.

On her way home from the surgeon's office, she stopped at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she said to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply.

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.

A little while later she goes into a McDonalds and asked the counter girl the same question.

The girl replied, "I'd guess about 29."

The woman replied with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50!"

Feeling really good about herself, she stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk the same question.

The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say you're 30 or so."

She proudly declared, "I'm 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He said, 'I'm 78, and my eyesight is going. Although when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you exactly how old you are.'

They waited in silence on the empty street until her curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."

He slipped both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully . He bounced and weighed each breast. He gently pinched each nipple. He pushed her breasts together and rubbed them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she said, 'Okay, okay... how old am I?'

He gave one last squeeze of her breasts, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50 years old."

Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That's incredible! How could you tell?"

The old man said, "Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise I won't," she said.

"I was in line right behind you in McDonalds!"

rondog · 04-18-2008, 01:45 PM

LOL! I gotta remember that trick....

CalifgirlinOk · 04-18-2008, 01:57 PM

Did she happen to have blonde hair...!!! LOL

just_a_car · 04-18-2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalifgirlinOk

Did she happen to have blonde hair...!!! LOL

Nope, she was a displaced Californian Brunette.

7mmremmag1995 · 04-18-2008, 03:52 PM

lmao

CalifgirlinOk · 04-18-2008, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by just_a_car

Nope, she was a displaced Californian Brunette.

Your not talking about me are you ? ...

LOL !!!

just_a_car · 04-18-2008, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalifgirlinOk

Your not talking about me are you ? ...

LOL !!!

Never!... *whistles innocently*

Windwalker · 04-19-2008, 09:59 AM

Lol, very good JAC but you will probably pay for it.

04-18-2008, 11:26 AM	#1
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,293	How old am I? A woman had a facelift done for her 50th birthday. She spent $15,000 and felt pretty good about the results. On her way home from the surgeon's office, she stopped at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she said to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," was the reply. "Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily. A little while later she goes into a McDonalds and asked the counter girl the same question. The girl replied, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replied with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50!" Feeling really good about herself, she stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk the same question. The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say you're 30 or so." She proudly declared, "I'm 50, but thank you!" While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question. He said, 'I'm 78, and my eyesight is going. Although when I was young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you exactly how old you are.' They waited in silence on the empty street until her curiosity got the best of her. She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead." He slipped both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully . He bounced and weighed each breast. He gently pinched each nipple. He pushed her breasts together and rubbed them against each other. After a couple of minutes of this, she said, 'Okay, okay... how old am I?' He gave one last squeeze of her breasts, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50 years old." Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That's incredible! How could you tell?" The old man said, "Promise you won't get mad?" "I promise I won't," she said. "I was in line right behind you in McDonalds!"

04-18-2008, 01:45 PM	#2
rondog Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Parker, CO Posts: 1,324	LOL! I gotta remember that trick.... __________________ What she doesn't know about, doesn't piss her off.....

04-18-2008, 01:57 PM	#3
CalifgirlinOk Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 2,733	Did she happen to have blonde hair...!!! LOL __________________ "Most of the troubles in the world is caused by people wanting to be important". T.S.Eliot

04-18-2008, 03:52 PM	#5
7mmremmag1995 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,270 Images: 1 Blog Entries: 1	lmao __________________ Just LeDoux it

04-19-2008, 09:59 AM	#8
Windwalker Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 3,541	Lol, very good JAC but you will probably pay for it. __________________ America: Love it and protect it or leave it