Another Navy Joke

Cyrano · 06-19-2008, 09:38 PM

In a Navy ship, you have enlisted signalmen whose specialty is communicating by visual means only. They can send and receive semaphore and blinker light messages at 15 to 20 words a minute, becuase that's all they do and they do it all the time. They are always available on the flying bridge for any message the Captain or the Officer of the Deck wants/needs to send.

In a merchant ship, the only people who can read blinker light are the deck officers. They send and receive at about 5 words per minute because, running with an absolute minimum crew as they do, and running solo instead of in formation as Navy ships do, 99% of all short range communications are done by UHF radio because the watch officer is doing by himself jobs that the Navy distributes among a dozen people. They almost never use blinker lights.

Standard naval practice is for a man of war to contact any merchantman passing nearby and ask them who they are, what flag they fly, where they are going, what they are carrying in the way of cargo, and where they are bound; plus, perhaps, what the weather has been like for the last day or two. This is a custom that goes back centuries.

Smart Navy captains do this with the radio. But not all Navy captains are smart.

One day, a Navy destroyer met an American freighter in the Mediterranean. The Navy captain ordered his signalmen to raise her on the blinker light and ask all those questions. They started blinking. The captain, through his binoculars, could see two officers on the bridge of the freighter copying the signal. One of them went into the wheelhouse and came back out with a blinker gun.

The captain watched as the freighter replied to his signal:

"F... U... C... - what?!"

"Yup, Captain, that's what he said," confirmed the Chief Signalman.

"Make this signal to him, official: "From Captain to Captain. Are you aware of the signal that just originated from your vessel?"

The merchant ship blinked back, "Damn right. I sent it!"

06-19-2008, 09:38 PM	#1
Cyrano Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: New York Posts: 2,993	Another Navy Joke In a Navy ship, you have enlisted signalmen whose specialty is communicating by visual means only. They can send and receive semaphore and blinker light messages at 15 to 20 words a minute, becuase that's all they do and they do it all the time. They are always available on the flying bridge for any message the Captain or the Officer of the Deck wants/needs to send. In a merchant ship, the only people who can read blinker light are the deck officers. They send and receive at about 5 words per minute because, running with an absolute minimum crew as they do, and running solo instead of in formation as Navy ships do, 99% of all short range communications are done by UHF radio because the watch officer is doing by himself jobs that the Navy distributes among a dozen people. They almost never use blinker lights. Standard naval practice is for a man of war to contact any merchantman passing nearby and ask them who they are, what flag they fly, where they are going, what they are carrying in the way of cargo, and where they are bound; plus, perhaps, what the weather has been like for the last day or two. This is a custom that goes back centuries. Smart Navy captains do this with the radio. But not all Navy captains are smart. One day, a Navy destroyer met an American freighter in the Mediterranean. The Navy captain ordered his signalmen to raise her on the blinker light and ask all those questions. They started blinking. The captain, through his binoculars, could see two officers on the bridge of the freighter copying the signal. One of them went into the wheelhouse and came back out with a blinker gun. The captain watched as the freighter replied to his signal: "F... U... C... - what?!" "Yup, Captain, that's what he said," confirmed the Chief Signalman. "Make this signal to him, official: "From Captain to Captain. Are you aware of the signal that just originated from your vessel?" The merchant ship blinked back, "Damn right. I sent it!"