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Old 06-21-2008, 10:41 AM   #1
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Ramblings of a retired mind

I enjoyed this so I thought I'd copy it to here.

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it 'Pumping Rust'.

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to these men?



Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
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Old 06-21-2008, 11:19 AM   #2
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That makes perfect sense to me. LOL

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Old 06-21-2008, 11:23 AM   #3
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I sure am glad I'm not OLD yet !!! LOL
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Old 06-21-2008, 11:32 AM   #4
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LOL...Cute but I'm not old yet.
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Old 06-21-2008, 11:42 AM   #5
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Ya if you guys arent old then why does it say SENIOR MEMBER? Got ya there.
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Last edited by Capt'n Mil Coll; 06-21-2008 at 11:45 AM.
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Old 06-21-2008, 01:10 PM   #6
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i'M SO OLD THAT THEY ALL MAKE GOOD SENSE TO ME.
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Old 06-21-2008, 02:25 PM   #7
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Smile Spit and vinegar

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Old 06-21-2008, 03:50 PM   #8
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lol
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Old 06-27-2008, 02:48 PM   #9
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Supposedly one of WC Fields' friends came into his hospital room at the end, and exclaimed, "Bill! I never thought I'd see you reading a Bible. What are you doing with that thing?" And Fields answered, "looking for loopholes..."
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Old 06-30-2008, 08:13 AM   #10
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Good one !!
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