Number one idiots.

[Capt'n Mil Coll]

Number One Idiot of 2007

A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The student quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. The student then told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this. "Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well,
but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license.

They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, Here's your sign
(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)

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IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .
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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?

Yep...From Kansas City !
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals
blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

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IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to" downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
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IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side."

This was at the CHEVY dealership in Canton , Mississippi !
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STAY ALERT!
They walk among us .. and they REPRODUCE ..!!!

[deadman03]

those storys are hillarious untill you relize that they are more than likely true. and i thought i had to deal with stupid people where i work, i would give most of them more credit than those people.
ive always believed that people should have to get a license or pass a test to reproduce.

[Big Dog]

My bestest buddy was wanting to sell his son's old 4X4 truck, to pay for the damage the kid had done to the house right before his arrest and going to jail.
He bemoaned the fact that the keys were gone - "kid probably lost 'em!"

I suggested looking in the ignition - they were there.....

Hmmmm...... I'll make him his sign this weekend.....

[Cyrano]

I've seen this on the forum before, but it's still funny - especially the one about the guy and the automated speed trap.

[Paul T]

Several years ago I had to pick up a diesel engine for an irrigation
system going just north to Bakersfileld Ca. The shipper as well as the dispatcher didnt get directions to the customer. When I called the
customer I was transfered back and forth from one dept. to another
trying to find some one who either spoke english enough to or someone
who could accurately give directions. I finally wound up with a young lady
who lived in the area but she couldnt really indetify the roads so when I finally got frustrated enough I asked her " How do you get to work in the morning" her reply " I drive my car"....I really felt small then..

[GlockMeister]

Why am I not surprised there are so many IDIOTS? And the scary thing is, I"m sure the list goes on? lmao

[TheWanderingMind]

My wife called and asked me to pick up some cigarettes on the way home yesterday, since she was going to lie down and take a nap. She said we had $50 in the bank and I get paid today, so it wouldn't be a problem... I couldn't find our brand anywhere on the base, so I drove to a smoke shop and picked up a carton.

Got home and went to write the debit transaction in the checkbook, and saw a new entry that showed we now had $30 in the bank account - and I'd just spent $33! I immediately got on the phone and called my bank for a direct deposit advance of $20, sweating that it would be in time to beat the other transaction to the bank!

After I got the bank's confirmation number, I sat down to write the advance in the check register.....and then noticed the check number by the $20 entry immediately above!

My wife roundly chewed on me when she woke up - and she was right! Boy, did I feel like an IDIOT!

I'm sure we've all done or said things that make us feel that way. But, at least we recognize the feeling...

[Windwalker]

They're everywhere,they're everywhere!

[.22guy]

These are the people who will vote for Obama....

[SwedeSteve]

Pretty amazing that Mother Natures doesn't cull them out faster !!