How Parents Can Spot a Terrorist in the Making

Doglips · 09-09-2002, 12:37 PM

How Parents Can Spot a Terrorist in the Making

Based on ignored CIA and FBI intelligence, I've put together a handy list of warning signs every parent should print out and hang on the fridge.

· When exposed to nearly naked pop tarts on television, he snarls and says, "She will be punished when Islamic law is established."

· While you're filling the tank, he sits sullenly in the backseat and says, "The oil rightly belongs to the descendents of the Prophet. You will suffer a million deaths, infidel."

· Angrily attacks cardboard bacon-cheeseburger promotional sign on Wendy's counter.

· Insists he isn't shaving due to Allah's command, though you can't see any evidence of a beard.

· Rants about "72 black-eyed virgins" whenever you ask why he's not interested in girls.

· Buys a burqa for his sister off eBay. Tries to kill her when she won't wear it.

· Begs for flight lessons while the other kids are going to driving school.

· Won't gargle with Listerine, due to the alcohol content.

· Denounces all Christian and Jewish winter holidays but still asks for a gift subscription to Al Jazeera on the Dish Network.

· Always volunteers to fertilize the lawn; lawn is dead.

· Calls the paper the "Jew York Times."

· Suddenly against cowboys; burns favorite Toy Story action figure.

· Watches the movie Airplane and wonders aloud why a guy named Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was in the cockpit yet didn't fly the jet into a building.

· Also hates Muhammad Ali for no apparent reason.

· Issues several fatwas from family's AOL e-mail address.

· Volunteers as a janitor at the university medical center's radiology clinic. Always the last to leave.

· Charges $35 to your credit card to register KillAmericansAndJews.org.

· Wants to skip school to "get an autograph" from Salman Rushdie at the local Barnes & Noble.

· Has used all the paper towels and flour to make a George W. Bush effigy, which he's burning on the front lawn.

· No longer answers to Joey. Now it's Abdullah al Muhajir.

· Has absolutely no interest in anything beyond next month.

Oxford · 09-09-2002, 04:58 PM

That's a great discussion list to be used by instructors in Anti-Terrorism 101. (ha)
Oxford:nod:

MarkII 22 · 09-09-2002, 05:27 PM

That ain't me

09-09-2002, 12:37 PM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,088	How Parents Can Spot a Terrorist in the Making How Parents Can Spot a Terrorist in the Making Based on ignored CIA and FBI intelligence, I've put together a handy list of warning signs every parent should print out and hang on the fridge. · When exposed to nearly naked pop tarts on television, he snarls and says, "She will be punished when Islamic law is established." · While you're filling the tank, he sits sullenly in the backseat and says, "The oil rightly belongs to the descendents of the Prophet. You will suffer a million deaths, infidel." · Angrily attacks cardboard bacon-cheeseburger promotional sign on Wendy's counter. · Insists he isn't shaving due to Allah's command, though you can't see any evidence of a beard. · Rants about "72 black-eyed virgins" whenever you ask why he's not interested in girls. · Buys a burqa for his sister off eBay. Tries to kill her when she won't wear it. · Begs for flight lessons while the other kids are going to driving school. · Won't gargle with Listerine, due to the alcohol content. · Denounces all Christian and Jewish winter holidays but still asks for a gift subscription to Al Jazeera on the Dish Network. · Always volunteers to fertilize the lawn; lawn is dead. · Calls the paper the "Jew York Times." · Suddenly against cowboys; burns favorite Toy Story action figure. · Watches the movie Airplane and wonders aloud why a guy named Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was in the cockpit yet didn't fly the jet into a building. · Also hates Muhammad Ali for no apparent reason. · Issues several fatwas from family's AOL e-mail address. · Volunteers as a janitor at the university medical center's radiology clinic. Always the last to leave. · Charges $35 to your credit card to register KillAmericansAndJews.org. · Wants to skip school to "get an autograph" from Salman Rushdie at the local Barnes & Noble. · Has used all the paper towels and flour to make a George W. Bush effigy, which he's burning on the front lawn. · No longer answers to Joey. Now it's Abdullah al Muhajir. · Has absolutely no interest in anything beyond next month.

09-09-2002, 04:58 PM	#2
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,101 Blog Entries: 4	That's a great discussion list to be used by instructors in Anti-Terrorism 101. (ha) Oxford:nod: __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

09-09-2002, 05:27 PM	#3
MarkII 22 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Kansas Posts: 587	That ain't me __________________ GROW YOUR OWN DOPE.PLANT A POLITICIAN. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.SO PLEASE SHUT UP!