Why English is so hard to learn? Dedicated to MarkII 22.

Oxford · 10-03-2002, 11:52 AM

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
I did not object to the object.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?Let's face it -
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in
hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

You cannot buy boots in Boots, you cannot buy virgins in Virgins, you
cannot buy threshers in Threshers, and the Superdrug chain is a
disappointment.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find
that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea
pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an
asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a
play and play at a recital?

We ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while
a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.

And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you
have to hit "START"?

:nod:

NRAJOE · 10-03-2002, 12:16 PM

No wonder Marky is so confused!

MarkII 22 · 10-03-2002, 12:26 PM

To true way to true Funny but way to TRUE. So true I want to

.

NRAJOE · 10-03-2002, 12:41 PM

Hey Ox, how about cybertutoring Mark II ? Or is that to hard of a job?

FEG · 10-03-2002, 02:18 PM

CARPET: The word that lies like a rug.

It is neither a "car," nor a "pet."

Snakebite · 10-03-2002, 07:42 PM

Anybody ever see Gallagher do his comedy routine about some of the words in the English language? Thats FUNNY!
I don't recommend that Mark watch it though----might confuse him.
Just kiddin Mark!

Oxford · 10-04-2002, 09:47 AM

My favorite Gallagher routine is about his vegamatic slicer. (Real)Fruit's flying all over the place.(ha):nod:

10-03-2002, 11:52 AM	#1
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,021 Blog Entries: 4	Why English is so hard to learn? Dedicated to MarkII 22. The bandage was wound around the wound. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. I did not object to the object. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. You cannot buy boots in Boots, you cannot buy virgins in Virgins, you cannot buy threshers in Threshers, and the Superdrug chain is a disappointment. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer you have to hit "START"? :nod: __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".

10-03-2002, 12:16 PM	#2
NRAJOE Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toledo,OH Posts: 19,043 Images: 3	No wonder Marky is so confused! __________________ U.S. Army 1976-1979 237th Combat Engineers Heilbronn, Germany

10-03-2002, 12:26 PM	#3
MarkII 22 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Kansas Posts: 587	To true way to true Funny but way to TRUE. So true I want to . __________________ GROW YOUR OWN DOPE.PLANT A POLITICIAN. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.SO PLEASE SHUT UP!

10-03-2002, 12:41 PM	#4
NRAJOE Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toledo,OH Posts: 19,043 Images: 3	Hey Ox, how about cybertutoring Mark II ? Or is that to hard of a job? __________________ U.S. Army 1976-1979 237th Combat Engineers Heilbronn, Germany

10-03-2002, 02:18 PM	#5
FEG Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Behind the Iron Curtain Posts: 517	CARPET: The word that lies like a rug. It is neither a "car," nor a "pet." __________________ WARNING: CZs MAY BE HABIT-FORMING (Consult a doctor if nursing or pregnant).

10-03-2002, 07:42 PM	#6
Snakebite Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tucson, Mexico Posts: 1,839	Anybody ever see Gallagher do his comedy routine about some of the words in the English language? Thats FUNNY! I don't recommend that Mark watch it though----might confuse him. Just kiddin Mark!

10-04-2002, 09:47 AM	#7
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 13,021 Blog Entries: 4	My favorite Gallagher routine is about his vegamatic slicer. (Real)Fruit's flying all over the place.(ha):nod: __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".