Cop Riddles

Doglips · 10-17-2002, 12:47 PM

Cop Riddles
Q Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A Everyone has the same DNA.

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Q What does CHAOS stand for?
A Chief Hasn't Arrived On Scene

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Q What do you call a midget fortune-teller who just escaped from jail?
A A small medium at large.

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Q What do you call a handcuffed man in the back of a police car?
A Trustworthy

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Q What do you call officer Bob when he retires?
A Bob.

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Q Why do women make better police officers than men?
A Because they can bleed for a week and still not die.

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Q What's the difference between an execution and a circumcision?
A With an execution, you get rid of the whole prick..

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Q How is an erection like a prison sentence?
A Neither is stiff enough or long enough.

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Q What's the difference between Amado Diallo and an Irishman?
A An Irishman would still be standing after 41 shots.

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Q What do you call Tuesday's at a Texas prison?
A Fryday.

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Q Why did the New York Police Department fire all their gay detectives?
A They kept blowing all their cases.

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Q Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

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Q Did you hear about the escaped murderer's new website?
A It's at slash, slash, backslash, escape.

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Q Why couldn't Ted Bundy go out the night he was executed in the electric chair?
A He was grounded.

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Q What was Ted Bundy's last job in prison?
A Conductor.

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Q What was Ted Bundy's emotional state the day of his electrocution?
A He was really hot under the collar.

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Q How many cops does it take to throw a perpetrator down the stairs?
A None, he fell!

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Q Do you know the sentence for bigamy?
A Two mothers-in-law.

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Q Where do police officers keep their money?
A In piggy banks.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road?
A Philadelphia Cop: I don't know, but give me five minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

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Q How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

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Q How does an LA policeman go fishing?
A He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.

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Q Five policemen were on a boat. The boat sank. How many policemen died?
A 10. Five during the accident, and five during the re-enactment.

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Q How does the LAPD play poker?
A Four clubs beat a king.

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Q Why don't they give Polish police coffee breaks?
A It's too costly to retrain them.

NRAJOE · 10-17-2002, 01:59 PM

Q How does the LAPD play poker?
A Four clubs beat a king. Oh man......

oneastrix · 10-17-2002, 04:19 PM

Actually, CHAOS should mean..."Chief HAS arrived on scene!" That's always been my experience!LOL

taras · 10-18-2002, 12:41 PM

O.K after drinking all that coffee, and reading your jokes I decided these computers should come with built in portapotties. A real gut-buster.

10-17-2002, 12:47 PM	#1
Doglips Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Cocoa Florida Posts: 9,082	Cop Riddles Cop Riddles Q Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia? A Everyone has the same DNA. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What does CHAOS stand for? A Chief Hasn't Arrived On Scene -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What do you call a midget fortune-teller who just escaped from jail? A A small medium at large. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What do you call a handcuffed man in the back of a police car? A Trustworthy -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What do you call officer Bob when he retires? A Bob. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Why do women make better police officers than men? A Because they can bleed for a week and still not die. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What's the difference between an execution and a circumcision? A With an execution, you get rid of the whole prick.. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q How is an erection like a prison sentence? A Neither is stiff enough or long enough. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What's the difference between Amado Diallo and an Irishman? A An Irishman would still be standing after 41 shots. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What do you call Tuesday's at a Texas prison? A Fryday. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Why did the New York Police Department fire all their gay detectives? A They kept blowing all their cases. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Did you hear about the escaped murderer's new website? A It's at slash, slash, backslash, escape. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Why couldn't Ted Bundy go out the night he was executed in the electric chair? A He was grounded. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What was Ted Bundy's last job in prison? A Conductor. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q What was Ted Bundy's emotional state the day of his electrocution? A He was really hot under the collar. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q How many cops does it take to throw a perpetrator down the stairs? A None, he fell! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Do you know the sentence for bigamy? A Two mothers-in-law. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Where do police officers keep their money? A In piggy banks. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Philadelphia Cop: I don't know, but give me five minutes with the chicken and I'll find out. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Just one, but he is never around when you need him. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q How does an LA policeman go fishing? A He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Five policemen were on a boat. The boat sank. How many policemen died? A 10. Five during the accident, and five during the re-enactment. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q How does the LAPD play poker? A Four clubs beat a king. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q Why don't they give Polish police coffee breaks? A It's too costly to retrain them.

10-17-2002, 01:59 PM	#2
NRAJOE Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Toledo,OH Posts: 19,737	Q How does the LAPD play poker? A Four clubs beat a king. Oh man...... __________________ U.S. Army 1976-1979 237th Combat Engineers Heilbronn, Germany

10-17-2002, 04:19 PM	#3
oneastrix Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: on the road Posts: 5,244	Actually, CHAOS should mean..."Chief HAS arrived on scene!" That's always been my experience!LOL __________________ There's no one more thankful to sit at the table, than the one who best remembers hunger's pain.

10-18-2002, 12:41 PM	#4
taras Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Apt.402-24 Carlton st. Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. R3C 1P1 Posts: 402	O.K after drinking all that coffee, and reading your jokes I decided these computers should come with built in portapotties. A real gut-buster. __________________ If ya don't vote, don't ***** !!!