Dear Secretary of Agriculture,

Oxford · 11-21-2002, 10:37 AM

My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Potter Valley, California, received a
check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs.
So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business myself next year.

What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best type of farm not
to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want
to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all government
policies. I would prefer not to raise Razor hogs, but if that is not a good
breed not to raise, then I can just as easily not raise Yorkshires or
Durocs.

As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an accurate
inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised. If I can get $1,000 for not
raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to
operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 "not
raised" hogs, which will give me $80,000 income the first year. Then I can
buy an airplane.

Now another thing: these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels
of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and
wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to
feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise? I want to get started not
feeding as soon as possible, as this seems to be a good time of the year to
not raise hogs and grain.

I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send me any
information on that also. In view of these circumstances, I understand that
the government will consider me totally unemployed, so I plan to file for
unemployment and food stamps as well.

Be assured that you will have my vote in the coming elections.

Patriotically yours, Floyd E. Barney

PS: Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free cheese?

:nod:

11-21-2002, 10:37 AM	#1
Oxford Super Moderator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Gladstone, Missouri Posts: 12,948 Trader Rating: (0)	Dear Secretary of Agriculture, My friends, Darryl and Janice, over at Potter Valley, California, received a check the other day for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business myself next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best type of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all government policies. I would prefer not to raise Razor hogs, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I can just as easily not raise Yorkshires or Durocs. As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised. If I can get $1,000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 "not raised" hogs, which will give me $80,000 income the first year. Then I can buy an airplane. Now another thing: these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise? I want to get started not feeding as soon as possible, as this seems to be a good time of the year to not raise hogs and grain. I am also considering the "not milking cows" business, so please send me any information on that also. In view of these circumstances, I understand that the government will consider me totally unemployed, so I plan to file for unemployment and food stamps as well. Be assured that you will have my vote in the coming elections. Patriotically yours, Floyd E. Barney PS: Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free cheese? :nod: __________________ "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right".