Journalist's Guide to Firearms Identification

Seven© · 09-19-2009, 04:09 PM

Saw his posted at thr and thought it was pretty funny.

Whootsinator · 09-19-2009, 04:11 PM

The spud gun was a nice touch XD

woody1981 · 09-19-2009, 04:20 PM

Very good. They should ban that evil blue AK-47!

Cyrano · 09-19-2009, 04:46 PM

Aw, c'mon, guys! The journalists aren't that bad! Here is what I can tell these non-shooting lackwits can positively identify in the way of guns, based on their reportage over the years.

If it's a flintlock rifle, it's a Kentucky rifle.

If it's a flintlock pistol, it's a dueling pistol.

If it's a cowboy's pistol, it's a Colt Peacemaker.

If it's a lever action rifle, it's a Winchester.

If a private eye is carrying it in a film noir movie, it's a Detective Special.

If a cop is carrying it in a movie made before about 1985, it's a .38 Special.

If Harry Callahan is carrying it, it's a S&W Model 29 - even if it's really a LAW Rocket, a .44 AutoMag or a harpoon gun.

If a German officer is carrying it, it's a Luger - even if it's a Walther P-38.

If James Bond is carrying it, it's a Walther PPK, no matter what.

If it's carried by a gangster in a gangster movie, it's a Tommy Gun - even if it's a BAR, a Model 97 pump action shotgun or a US Army .45.

If a US soldier is carrying it, it's an M-16, even in a World War II movie.

If a Bad Guy is carrying it overseas, it's an AK-47, even if it's a Mosin Nagant, an RPK, an Enfield, an SVD or a pistol.

If it's a shotgun carried by a civilian, it's a sawed-off shotgun that must be banned.

If it's an semi-auto, civilianized AK-47, AK-74, Ar-15 or any other civilianized semi-automatic rifle oof military design originally, it's an evil, full-auto assault rifle that must be banned.

If it's mounted on a pintle or a tripod, it's a .50 caliber machine gun like the ones anybody can buy without a background check or any questions being asked at any gun show in America.

And my tongue is not very far in cheek. When it comes to correctly identifying firearms, the Fourth Estate in the country has the IQ of a gray squirrel in mating season, an Afghan hound anytime, any hot-blooded female encountering Clark Gable, Paul Newman or Arnold Schwartzenegger in their prime or any hot-blooded male encountering Jean Harlow, Marilyn Monroe or Pamela Anderson in theirs.

SwedeSteve · 09-20-2009, 01:41 PM

Pretty funny stuff !!

Capt'n Mil Coll · 09-20-2009, 02:11 PM

I was watching a movie that I actually like the other day. In Army of Darkness you hear the THUNK CACHUNK of a pump shotgun when all he has is a double barrel sawed off. Guess it was a double barrel pump. Ya thats it.

SightNSqueeze · 09-20-2009, 03:31 PM

Don't forget that the scoped bolt action hunting rifle is a high powered sniper rifle with "cop-killer" bullets.

Cyrano · 09-20-2009, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Capt'n Mil Coll

I was watching a movie that I actually like the other day. In Army of Darkness you hear the THUNK CACHUNK of a pump shotgun when all he has is a double barrel sawed off. Guess it was a double barrel pump. Ya thats it.

He must have bought that double barrel pump shotgun at a gun store in Homer Simpson's home town of Springfield. There have been several instances of shotguns like that over the years in The Simpsons.

On a related topic (sorry about the hijacking): How was Homer able to purchase a large caliber revolver when he did time in a mental hospital in one of the early season of The Simpsons? An entire episode (and not complimentary to gun owners, the NRA or folks with CCWs) was built around his buying and using that pistol. There's no way he could pass a NICS check, even though he was certified sane and has a certificate from the looney bin neatly framed on his living room wall to prove it. All the Form 4473 asks is if you were committed, not that you had you head candled and were found to have all your marbles.

ALR · 09-21-2009, 05:23 PM

Funny you should bring this up, last week I was here and saw this. They start young!
Banner had not ONE Klashnikov pic on it!!!
Media Credit: Zachary James Kraft
With Constitution Day this past week it was a prime time to rekindle the discussion over concealing and carrying firearms on the University of Missouri-St. louis' campus. A campus event dealing with the issue (the klashnikov-covered banner in the MSC) offered a venue for such discussion.
Reasoning for any allowment of concealed firearms on our campus ranges from an exercise of one's constitutional right under the second amendment to the added reassurance of an armed student body will have against violent criminal acts.
It is hard for The Current to agree that a prohibition of guns on our campus means violation of the second amendment. The Supreme Court has continuously maintained that the second amendment is not unlimited and is subject to reasonable prohibitions and restrictions.
College campuses have always been included in those restricted areas as are all elementary and secondary schools. Upholding the ban that has been in affect since the university's inception over forty years ago will do little to resend anyone's constitutional rights.
The added security that supposedly will benefit by allowing armed students into classrooms amounts to nothing more than unlikely speculation.
The violent crime rate at UM-St. Louis is so marginal now that it would be hard to believe that the inclusion of guns on campus will do anything to bring, or even keep, that number low. Actually, the opposite could happen, an increase of firearms on campus could amount to an increase of crimes perpetrated with firearms.
Even if the violent crime rate on campus did warrant an increase of armed personnel, it is not be the role of students or faculty to fill that role. The purpose of the campus police force is to provide security to the university community.
Having what will amount to an armed student militia has the potential to complicate any shooting that would take place on campus.
In a worst-case scenario of a gunman on campus, with armed students coming to the aid of their unarmed classmates, it would be simple for the situation to quickly escalate to violence.
By having an untold number of armed students on campus, how is one supposed to tell who the original perpetrator is from another armed someone-else who is protecting themselves?
This problem will only be compounded when the police attempt to intervene.
What is the probability that the responding emergency services will know who to act against?
We are not attempting to comment on gun control as a whole or even the issue of conceal and carry in this state in particular. But it seems non-sensical to allow concealed weapons on college campuses, no matter the supposed benefits it may or may not bring.

Cyrano · 09-21-2009, 05:31 PM

What do you expect from a left-wing college newspaper editor, common sense?

delford · 09-21-2009, 06:27 PM

In Kiss the Girls the guilty cop at the end has filled the room with gas and Morgan Freeman has his gun out. The "cop" says "Go ahead, shoot your Glock" when any cop would know a metal slide pistol isn't a Glock. In this case it was a Sig Sauer, which freezing the image clearly shows. Poor writing on several levels.